Rodan Churchill swoops in and out of the pack, making a feint at second place before letting himself drop into a safe, but more discrete spot near the end of the racers. As he flies by the announcer, he enunciates:
“Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.”
“Indeed! We’ve been making pretty good time, and have yet to feel so much as the shrapnel of a prior racer part our hair,” Lee assented. He goaded his steed forwards, attempting to nudge past Shroud. The Prime Ministeranadon flapped his mighty wings, and banked towards BloodWolf.
“Wait… Uh, where are you going?” Lee attempted
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
“Say what? Oh no…”
And with that, Rodan Churchill swallowed BloodWolf whole.
“Hey! Spit him up! We’ll get penalized for eating the host if you don’t!”
Churchill’s only reaction to this was a big, leathery winged shrug.
“Oh, come ON! Eating that much spam in one sitting can’t be good for your health!” Lee gave a frustrated kick to his mount.
“Eating words have never given me indigestion.”
“Ugh,
fine. Have it your way,” Lee hunched up against a glowingly radioactive spine, “Since BloodWolf’s currently struggling his way out of your crop right now, and Biscuit just got nuked to crumbs, and Pohatu… Well, I have NO idea where Pohatu is. But it looks like I’m going to have to step up as host.”
“It is often necessary when some cherished scheme has failed, to take up the best alternative open, and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might.”
“What a vote of confidence… Anywho, I’d best be getting on the rankings before we clear Jupiter…”
Lee donned his announcing cap, still with a large Post Race III logo emblazoned across it.
In first, we have
Tangrow! It seems his choice of a Pokemon as a steed has given him a substantial advantage this lap! Stunfisk might be a fish out of water, but it’s certainly no flop! Next up is
Kuroboom, his tortoise powering its way through space at a rate that surely must be the envy of Gamera!
Elliot is in third, and is scintillating his way past the other racers like some sort of extremely fashionable comet!
Speaking of fashionable,
Cendra is right on his heels! She’s zipping along as if driving a car through space was second nature! Or, uh, fourth… nature, as the case may be.
Fleet is in fifth, and it’s looking like flesh and blood ponies are having a hard time keeping up with their mechanical doppleganger! Can they pull a John Henry and beat the machine? Right beside her, showing all sorts of Brony solidarity, is
Shadow. It’s a regular flock of pegasii up in here! These two have been hanging tight together this whole race… Will they win together, or will their herd go down in flames?
In lucky seventh is… Uh, well, how the heck am I supposed to go about this? This is like some sort of Hostception or whatever. In seventh place is
Lee Me The Sexiest of All The Racers, and clearly, the one with the best chance of winning this race, as he is obviously the greatest racer there ever has been, or ever will be!
While we’re on the subject of racing greats,
SV is in eighth place! If she was a less honorable player, I’d be inclined to point out that cheetah and cheater sound the exact same with my New England accent, but as is, she’s making respectable time fair and square!
What about the other two racers, though? What has become of Biscuit and Asmo?
It seems like they’ve been searching for Pokeballs? Just like the men they are to have their minds on balls like a time like this. They seem to have found one…
Wait, no… My bad. I think I just misidentified a three foot high sphere as a palm-sized ball somehow. I hate it when I do that… On the bright side of things, Asmo and Ninety found a Pokemon.
On the bad side of things, Explosion can take out multiple opponents in one go!
So sorry to see go, guys. I guess you shouldn’t have been so pokey, mon.
As one last addition, it seems that to make up for our loss of players this lap, Blood has dealt out a revive to
Rojoneko, who’s back in the race again! They’ve got their Warp Star ready, and are quick to rejoin the pack. How long will they be able to hang with the veteran racers? Only time will tell!
As we head into the fifth lap, we’re approaching the asteroid belt that bisects our solar system!
Stage 5: The Asteroid Belt
It’s going to be tough going, weaving between all these caroming rocks! To make it through safely, you must make a post describing your progress in exactly four sentences! If you’re driving a terrestrial vehicle, remember to use the Sky Rail, lest you drift off and get lost in space!
Lap 5...
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