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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 28, 2009 11:00:39 GMT -5
The Exodus Amphitheater, which bears a striking resemblance to the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood but never mind that, is alive with lights shining down from every available point. Throngs of well-dressed attendees have gathered here to stroke their respective egoes. But whose egoes will be stroked officially? And for that matter, who's going to be doing all that stroking? Because Blood's a little hazy on the Internet front just now. So, following an emergency Blood transfusion, I will be taking over as him in order to host the 2009 Lugiasian Awards Ceremony! Uh... which is... loverly. Truly. Um, Great House Ulaich will be so proud. And I guess so will Necronia. Kat-- Katana? Yellow Skittle? All right screw this, I'm bein' Pohatu. Blood is not abandoning the post entirely, though. Remember those little awards banners that got handed out last year? Well, Blood will design some new form of banner when he has the access, and distribute them to the winners. For now, I'm afraid you can't commemorate your victory with a little image in your signature. Sorry. Oh, and there's one more thing. To add a little extra element to the ceremony this year, I asked a few members beforehand if they'd like to give predictions for a choice selection of awards. Hence, Lee, Choobs and SV will be our resident authorities this year. Expect us to Ask the Experts for their guesses a few times within each award category. At the end, we shall see who among these three really knows them their Archie Exie. Straight on then to... THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS FRIENDLIEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: SV This year’s candidates: Kara; Lone; Lee; SV; Cendra; Pohatu; Blood And this year’s winner is… SV Well! I was hoping to minimize the number of people winning the same awards as last year, but no one’s going to argue with the numbers… and you know SV deserves it. Congrats, SV, on taking home the Friendliest Member award for the second year running! Man we are going to have to start mailing brownies to each other or something if we hope to unseat you next year. [Editor’s note: Make sure SV doesn’t see that last sentence. Can’t put any ideas into her head.]FUNNIEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: Choobs This year’s candidates: Bulbs; Pohatu; Choobs; V101 And this year’s winner is… Bulbs I mean what do you expect from a guy what looks like this? HAPPIEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: Kazkame This year’s candidates: Kevin; SV; Drunkhatu; Kyuuatamanoryu; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Kevin Now if I were Blood, like I was originally meant to be, this is the part where I would be making a joke about the word “gay”. But I’m not! So I won’t. (Kevin isn’t even the gayest member around here anyway, in the other sense. That’s totally Choobs.) Anyway hooray for Kevin! If you see this. Are you… Are you still around? Want to post in Whisper maybe? COOLEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: V101 This year’s candidates: Choobs; Asmo; SV; Kyuuatamanoryu; Wowposter; Pohatu; Kuroboom; Yellow Skittle And this year’s winner is… Asmo You know, Asmo is the new V101. He so is and that’s so unfortunate because we love V101 too and wish we could have them both at once. But yeah Asmo. Rock on, pal. And keep on having the best tastes in webcomics on the forum. SMARTEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: Pohatu This year’s candidates: Lee; Choobs; Pohatu; SV; Prime; Hop And this year’s winner is… Lee There we go. I knew I didn’t deserve Smartest Member last year. Like Lee said, “Smartest” and “Wittiest” are two very different things. What a perceptive thing to say. How insightful! It’s almost… It’s almost as if Lee is really smart! Oh man this is gettin’ deep you guys WISEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: Bulbs This year’s candidates: DL; Kuroboom; Kyuuatamanoryu; Lone; SV; Pohatu; Lee; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Kuroboom No shit, Kuroboom’s the wisest member here. I mean, that pretty much speaks for itself. Kuroboom is a man. We are but infants in comparison with him. Especially me. And Kyuutie-pie. Kuroboom, wise master, please accept this humble award, although it must seem meaningless in your grand worldview. MOST DEDICATED MEMBER Last year’s winner: Lee This year’s candidates: Pohatu; Prime; Blood; Kyuuatamanoryu And this year’s winner is… Blood Oh Blood. Salt of the earth. It’s been a long year and a half. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve gnashed our teeth at your shameless spamming. But yeah, you’ve become a bit of an institution, haven’t you? So, at least, think the many people who voted you for Most Dedicated Member ’09. If nothing else, the wiki definitely thanks you for your tireless busywork on it this past year. Much appreciated. MOST CREATIVE MEMBER Last year’s winner: Pohatu This year’s candidates: Lee; Choobs; Pohatu; Kevin; Kuroboom; Prime; Everyone; Qzumaki; Blood And this year’s winner is… Everyone What? Everyone? Seriously? This is a cop-out! Cheap, you guys, cheap. What irony that the Most Creative Member award should have such an uncreative winner. Man, screw this jive. Yeah, but okay, whatever, I guess we’re all pretty creative or something, whoo go us. BEST ARTIST Last year’s winner: Elliot This year’s candidates: Kevin; Qzumaki; Elliot; Loogs; Rose And this year’s winner is… Qzumaki Quality over quantity. Oh, and by that I mean “quantity of work she’s posted here.” Because Q has actually created, uh, QUITE A BIT OF ART which she has not yet shared? And should? Because she is a professional artist? Guys you backed a winner on this one, no joke. BEST WRITER Last year’s winner: Pohatu This year’s candidates: Bulbs; Elliot; Pohatu; Lee; Ninety; Choobs; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Ninety Wow, a definite dark horse victory here. Not a lot of people could have scraped such a majority win with only a couple of posts’ worth of fiction and a handful of poems. But Ninety ain’t foolin’ around here. Congrats to you, Ninety, on your uncontested victory. Now, if only you were to turn that spiffy writing talent to the field of RP, you’d be making a lot of friends on this forum… BEST ROLE MODEL Last year’s winner: Lee This year’s candidates: Kuroboom; SV; Cendra; Choobs; No one; Hop DING-DING-DING! It’s time to go to the panel for the first time! ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “Now, I may not exactly be the best person to ask. I’m almost positive Nobody will take this in a landslide, but Cendra really should. She contributes in art and RP, talks a bit in general, and occasionally flits over to the spam boards for a bit of fluff, and does all in a timely, friendly manner. If she doesn’t take it, people just don’t get what a member should be.”
Choobs: “I frankly don't see anyone winning this award, this year. I mean everyone is such a good role model in their own special way, I really can't decide.”
SV: "Best role model, hm?" SV appears pensive for a moment... and then for a moment longer. Finally, she reaches into her clutch and pulls out a sheet of paper with a bunch of hastily scribbled names on it. They look familiar; it must be her cheat sheet.
She purses her lips suddenly. "1nafutahop was nominated for this? Well, he's certainly not likely to win. Backwards character. Let's see who else... Choobs? Eh. No, probably not. And I'd feel bad predicting myself as winner. Ah, here we are. Kuroboom. Kuro's a great guy, and no one can post race like Kuro can. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he won it. Ooh, or Cendra. If all newbies were like her, the world would be a happy place.”
Your interviewee produces a dollar bill and presses it into your palm, giving you an exaggerated knowing wink. She leans in and whispers, "My money's on one of them." And this year’s winner is… No one Oh god damn it, are you serious? Man, I hate these collective awards. So weak! Next year, no more cheap-ass collective awards ‘cuz they suck. Refuge in vagueness, that’s what they represent. I won’t stand for it! Whatever, we’re all terrible people, it’s just It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia cubed around here, I get it. Jeez. Anyway, one point each to Lee and Choobs for accurately guessing that no one would win. The score: Lee 1, Choobs 1, SV 0 MOST IMPROVED MEMBER Last year’s winner: Prime This year’s candidates: Choobs; Nemesis; Qzumaki ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “Choobs will take it. He returned to RP in a very active and awesome way. Though Nemesis can’t be discounted. HE BLEW UP GENERAL ONCE, GUYS. It’s pretty hard NOT to improve from there.”
Choobs: “I think... the only one who qualifies for this is Q, although she set the bar pretty high to begin with, so growth wasn't really present.”
SV: SV raises an eyebrow. "Choobs... or Nem... or Q? These are all the nominees? Really?" It appears your informant is floundering for words.
She regains composure after sputtering a few protested and incomprehensible syllables. "Well. Q, I s'pose. Choobs is pretty stagnant -- improvement-wise, I mean -- and Nem only popped over for a few seconds for that one RP of El's. Q hasn't been around a long time, but she's kind of awesome. I guess that's an improvement over not being here, right?" And this year’s winner is… Qzumaki Yeah, huh, some pretty slim pickings for Most Improved Member this year, as SV points out. Kind of a tough choice between “Established member who has ups and downs but is mostly rather rad”, “Guy from Charms who barely even showed his face around here this year” and “Newbie who made a solid impression from the start”. In the end, though, the newbie prevailed, so a point each to Choobs and SV and no points for Lee. I guess Q making her RP debut counts as a pretty awesome form of improvement as a member. The score: Lee 1, Choobs 2, SV 1 MOST MISSED MEMBER Last year’s winner: Kazkame This year’s candidates: Praetoritevong; Diamond Princess; Djkates; Cinders; Ch@n; Blastoise; Hop; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Hop Much like last year, there was really very little consensus on this award, but the narrow victory went to bad ol’ 1nafutahop. I’d love to be able to say winning this award means he might make a reappearance, but actually I can’t, because I ate him. That’s why I won Grumpiest Member this year. OH SHIT. SPOILERS BEST TWO-MINUTE MEMBER Last year’s winner: Prime This year’s candidates: Dumok; Bulbs; Soulkeeper Julia ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “Dumok stands quite the chance here. But I wouldn’t be too surprised to see Soulkeeper Julia take a place here. I mean, c’mon, Corrupt a Wish is POSSIBLY the greatest Scrap Heap topic since Death By Awesome.”
Choobs: “I rather liked Soulkeeper Julia, but I feel like no one remembers her. Heck, I almost forgot about her. So the award goes to BB, probably.”
SV: Your interviewee begins nodding almost before you finish phrasing the question, water-droplet Vaporeon-motif earrings swinging about in a rather silly manner. "Julia, hands down. I liked her." SV continues nodding as she glances down at her cheat sheet, but abruptly double-takes. "Wait, BB? Is... is that... Bulbs?" And this year’s winner is… Soulkeeper Julia Well, turns out Choobs was happily mistaken in this case: a substantial majority of voters remember Soulkeeper Julia just fine and approve of her wholeheartedly. Hope she turns her fleeting visit into a long-term position. Man what is with all of the ladies joining this year? Could the gender distribution of Archie Exie actually be balancing out? Nah, never. The score: Lee 2, Choobs 2, SV 2 BIGGEST PENIS Last year’s winner: SV This year’s candidates: Kazkame; Kyuuatamanoryu; Lee; SV; DL; Hop; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Kazkame GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY!Oh man, a perfect tie for our experts so far. Two correct guesses and one miss for each. Let’s see if the next installment shakes up the score up a bit. Tune in tomorrow for the Razzies!
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Post by Tout-Perd on Dec 28, 2009 17:33:03 GMT -5
Y'know, I'm just letting the other two keep up with me to keep things dramatic here. You know, considering that my opposition is the Post Race Cheetah Chariot Girl and the always questionable Ch00bs, I must make my pulling ahead in the final round especially dramatic.
And 1nafutahop won most missed? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? There's like half a dozen valid RPers, and Photu's alter-ego. I mean, honestly. The 1nafutahop fellow was good for a laugh. But is he really worth sacrificing posts in the RP?
And I must say, next year we need a clarification on Most Improved. Guys. Qzumaki kicked total and utter ass from the moment she showed up. As opposed to Ch00b-"I'm too culturally sophisticated for RP, oh wait, now I'm back and creating some of the greatest topics of all time"-eh, and Nemesis, who, mind you, was pretty much one of the most reasonable people in the whole Charms/Bulbs/Loogs/Staff debacle, and posted in the RP. And would have kept posting, had certain people not murdered the deserving topic that was Hellgate. And that all, mind you, was after giving Elliot the "Blow up the Exodus" button. That's not a bad ammount of improvement.
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Post by Hamuu on Dec 28, 2009 17:52:30 GMT -5
{EDIT} POST DELETED due to the overwhelming amounts of emo it contained. Sorry, I'm just down today. Ignore me. I am happy you guys think I'm funny though
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 28, 2009 18:10:16 GMT -5
Lee, you're worse than I am! At first Q wasn't an RPer. Then she became an RPer. This is an improvement.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 28, 2009 19:27:13 GMT -5
Biggest Penis: BIGGEST UPSET 2009!
Either that, or MOST RACIST 2009!
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Post by Ninety on Dec 29, 2009 2:36:03 GMT -5
Is it customary to gloat? Can I start a new tradition if it isn't?
Also, I will RP as soon as choobles explains to me in detail over AIM exactly what that entails.
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Post by Kuroboom on Dec 29, 2009 3:13:34 GMT -5
Wow I don't think I've ever won anything here. I'm not sure I'm all that wise, but I accept nonetheless seeing as how I was voted for and whatnot.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 29, 2009 3:22:28 GMT -5
Gloating is not only allowed, but encouraged.
I think.
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SV
Friendliest Member of ALL TIME
The Friendliest Member Of ALL TIME
Posts: 2,250
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Post by SV on Dec 29, 2009 4:26:57 GMT -5
I am frankly a little disappointed that I didn't win Biggest Penis. (...Though: Biggest Penis: BIGGEST UPSET 2009! Either that, or MOST RACIST 2009! ...made me lol.) I knew I should have made an overtly suggestive banner for this year. Oh well, grats Kaz =) Oh, and, I make some bitchin' brownies. Bring it.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 29, 2009 10:29:26 GMT -5
THE RAZZIES MOST ANNOYING MEMBER Last year’s winner: Prime This year’s candidates: Blood; Loogs; Lee; All of us; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Loogs Oh look, one of the nominees was another of those collectives that irk me so much. “All of us”. Yeah, we’re all pretty annoying. I might have expected “All of us” to claim another cheap victory. But no! Lugiasian actually garnered enough support for this award to surpass “All of us”. Yes, it seems Loogs is actually more annoying than everyone on Archie Exie put together including herself. Cue wormholes in the space-time continuum! GRUMPIEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: Alex This year’s candidates: Blood; Pohatu; Choobs; Prime; Elliot; Qzumaki ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “Pohatu. He’d better take it, what with his year-end PMS or something. Maybe it’s the hormones from getting ready to birth Ishkabibble?”
Choobs: “I'm pretty sure that Blood has no emotions, the Potato family runs on silliness, and I don't care enough to get grumpy. That leave Prime and Elliot, and as Blood would say, Elliot is gay, which is the polar opposite of grumpy, so by process of elimination, I'm thinking Prime's got it.”
SV: You track down SV at her table later in the evening. As you approach, she motions for you to sit down and hands you a glass of what is either some sort of champagne or a quality sparkling cider, you can't really decide. Either way, it looks tasty.
"Oh dear... grumpiest member?" she mutters, looking around the room. After a moment, she points at a man a few tables over. "Prime, easy," she hisses. "You've seen how rabid he gets about late RP posts." Taking another sip from her glass, she shakes her head. "There's one I wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley. For various reasons." And this year’s winner is… Pohatu Ooh, poor call there, Choobs and SV! Should have known, after a month like this one, where the votes would swing. Yeah, this has been a dark hour for Pohatu. The beast has shown its fangs. Once Ishkabibble is off my chest, I’ll probably go back to tripping the light fantastic on the rooftops, but for now, I’m happy to accept Grumpiest Member ’09. Good spotting, Lee. The score: Lee 3, Choobs 2, SV 2 MOST DEPRESSING MEMBER Last year’s winner: Blood This year’s candidates: Prime; Kara; Lone; Blackcat; Choobs; Qzumaki; Blood And this year’s winner is… Kara Wait… Kara? Really? Is she… Is she actually that depressing? I never… Oh yeah, with the job hunting, and the hate-spamming, and the Naruto Gay Sex Bar, and all that stuff. I remember now. Yeah. Uh… Sorry, Kara. I’m… I’m sure that bar won’t last into the next fiscal year. STRANGEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: Blood This year’s candidates: Ninety; Hatedaries; Testbug; Dumok; Elliot; Prime; Choobs; Pohatu; Blood; Yellow Skittle And this year’s winner is… Choobs Choobs what is this I don’t even LEAST DEDICATED MEMBER Last year’s winner: Aurora This year’s candidates: Rupert; Asmo; Lee; Bulbs; DL; Choobs; Blood And this year’s winner is… Rupert Oh hey, gg, guys, gg. I called it last year, when I said Aurora wasn’t even really around any more and that Rupert better fit the “active but uncontributive” model, and now look who’s won! Awesome. I wonder if I can do this again. Um, next year, I predict that “Best Couple” will make a comeback, and that the winners will be, uh… Crayolaking… and Duckyqueen. Oh, snap. That needs to happen. BIGGEST PROCRASTINATOR Last year’s winner: Lee This year’s candidates: Bulbs; Kevin; DL; Lee; Loogs; Choobs; Qzumaki; Blood And this year’s winner is…[Editor’s note: Unfortunately we have a tie for this award. Pohatu is currently trying to figure out a fair and neutral way to resolve the tie between the two leading nominees, who are Lee and Lee. Pohatu has promised to come up with a method of settling this award’s ownership “tonight”.]MOST IMPATIENT MEMBER Last year’s winner: Prime This year’s candidates: Pohatu; Prime; Blood; Choobs; Elliot And this year’s winner is… Prime Man, I was hoping I could have scraped a win here, but I guess my true colors are only just starting to shine through. This time next year, post-Ishkabibble, you will all have seen what an impatient, impetuous, imperious imp I can be. Until then, all right, Prime, looks like you’re still the king of not letting the rest of us sleep easy at night. Next year I will defeat you! Next yeeaarWORST ROLE MODEL Last year’s winner: Rupert This year’s candidates: Drunkhatu; All the wolves; Choobs; DL; Lee; Loogs; Elliot; Alex; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Drunkhatu Drunkhatu more like Asshatu amiriteMOST RUN-DOWN MEMBER Last year’s winner: Choobs This year’s candidates: DL; Pohatu; Choobs; Lee; Bulbs; Qzumaki ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “DL has better than even odds at this one. Active RPer to transgender Hok? C’mon!”
Choobs: “I was going to say me, but I've started picking up the RP banner again, what with LTR and stuff. BB and Lee, with their long bouts of absence, probably qualify for run-down-ness, but they've always been that way.”
SV: SV tilts her head in thought. "Not Choobs... not Lee... not Bulbs... certainly not Q... And... Pohatu?" She snorts. "Who nominated him? With Ishkabibble coming up, Potatoh might be reaching a career high. At the very least, it sounds promising.
"Now, a little birdie tells me," she says after a moment, raising a hand to her mouth conspiratorially, "that DL's just been lurking around the Exodus lately. I swear I saw him skulking in the lobby earlier, too." She sighs. "Such a shame, too. He used to be so... contribute-y." [“Contributive?” –Ed.] And this year’s winner is… Lee Wait, what? Lee? I… Lee? Okay. You know what, I really thought Lee and SV had a pretty good point with predicting DL, but it looks like I was the only person to vote DL on this one. (Sorry, buddy. We know this was kind of an off-year for you.) Instead… Lee won. Wow. I never realized he was on a downward slide. But I guess the verdict is clear. Lee has slumped so low that he has become an empty parody of himself!The score: Lee 3, Choobs 2, SV 2 BIGGEST DRAMA MAGNET Last year’s winner: Elliot This year’s candidates: Pohatu; Loogs; Choobs; Alex; Bulbs; Prime; Elliot; Qzumaki; Blood ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “Depends on the perceived definition of drama magnet. If the public goes with ‘Biggest Source of Drama’, it’s Loogs by a landslide. If they go by ‘Person Found in the Middle of the Most Drama’, it’s Bulbs, maybe Ch00bs. In the end, since they’re almost a synonym for Drama, Loogs takes it.”
Choobs: “I have a feeling that Loogs is going to take this one, since most of the drama of 09 has revolved around her. Her or Alex. But I don't want Alex to win anything cuz he's a Brit prick.”
SV: “Alex. No, Loogs. No, El. Er, wait, Choobs." SV crosses her arms across her chest. You get the distinct impression that she is greatly conflicted by this question. "But then, there was that thing with Bulbs. Ah... Hm.
"OH! I've got it! If the five of them could, like, form a drama Voltron, that would totally win." She hesitates for a moment before suggesting, "But Alex would be the head." And this year’s winner is… Loogs Oh what a year for drama this was. Where 2008 advanced the forum in… well, just about every helpful/awesome/entertaining way, 2009 was definitely a watershed year in the drama department. That’s pretty much what we have to show for the last three hundred and sixty-five days. So no surprise that there were all kinds of worthy candidates with all kinds of stains on their escutcheons. But the winner, as Choobs accurately predicted, was our favorite Lugiasian. She has drama in the way that most people have blood (and the way that Blood has mediocrity OOH ZING) The score: Lee 4, Choobs 3, SV 2 SCARIEST MEMBER Last year’s winner: n/a This year’s candidates: Loogs; Kyuuatamanoryu; Cendra; DL; Hop; Qzumaki And this year’s winner is… Kyuuatamanoryu Man, yeah, you know what, Kyuu’s a pretty scary lady. That part where she was all “I can become your worst nightmare”… Bricks were shat, I’m not gonna lie. I dread the day that she will return in vengeful wrath and tear my delicate flesh asunder with her nine mouth. Ooh, Lee’s picking up a lead here. Choobs is close behind, with SV trailing in third despite her generous contributions. No worries, SV, since there are still three more categories to catch up. Tomorrow: the Pulitzers!
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 29, 2009 12:58:29 GMT -5
I want my half point! >:{
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 29, 2009 13:21:47 GMT -5
No half points. No mercy!
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Post by Tout-Perd on Dec 29, 2009 13:30:06 GMT -5
Most run down, really guys? Even though the big hiatus was earlier in the year, and since I've been one of the more active RP presences (albeit spread much more thinly than most.) I just don't see Most Run Down. I'll fully willing to accept Biggest Procrastinator, and honestly think I should have got Most Annoying and maybe even Least Dedicated.
But Most Run Down? Really? I mean c'mon, like 20% of DL's posts since August have been ABOUT the Most Run Down award. (I think I voted Pohatu, didn't I? I prolly was still being pissy about the whole Kyuugate scandal.)
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 29, 2009 13:31:13 GMT -5
I will give you nothing but take from you everything.
And by everything, I mean my half point.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 29, 2009 13:32:46 GMT -5
I don't get it either! I seriously don't get it at all. Nobody voted for DL except me. And for some reason, you ended up tipping the scales at four votes to Choobs' three and my and Bulbs' two each. (And trust me, I know I deserved it. Hell, I nominated myself for that one, even if I didn't end up voting for myself.)
You know what, it was probably that DL has receded so far from the public eye this year that most of the members just straight-up forgot who he was and why they would want to vote for him. I can barely remember what "DL" stands for myself.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 29, 2009 13:35:29 GMT -5
Yeah, I pretty much forgot DL existed. My bad!
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Post by Tout-Perd on Dec 29, 2009 19:30:18 GMT -5
Wouldn't a half point mean that Choobs just auto-wins if he ties for first?
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 29, 2009 20:37:07 GMT -5
Why do you think I'm so adamant about this.
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Post by Q on Dec 29, 2009 20:37:43 GMT -5
Oh man I won some shit? I need to get on the webs more often.
Also, I guess I'd better post some more art soon! Although some of the best recent pieces are in a show in a gallery right now what what
Also, SV, I was equally disappointed that I didn't win Biggest Penis. BUT NEXT YEAR IT'S YOU VS. ME
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 30, 2009 12:49:46 GMT -5
THE PULITZERS BEST POST Last year’s winner: Rhometer bends space and time in the superplay fightThis year’s candidates: Choobs says stuff in the Coffee Table, or something, I guess; Pohatu calls Kyuu "Kyuutie-pie"; Pohatu graduates from critiquing fiction and critiquing RPing to critiquing human interactionAnd this year’s winner is… Pohatu graduates from critiquing fiction and critiquing RPing to critiquing human interaction I guess that’s about it. I don’t really think I can get more jaded and choleric. I mean, where do you go from here? What further level is there to critique? Truly, this is the summit of jackassery. BEST TOPIC Last year’s winner: The Topic Wherein You Prove You Are Not A SpambotThis year’s candidates: RP Tropes; Ten Ways to Kill an RP (And Ten Ways Not To); Asmo's Ascension to the Throne; Prosthetic Shoutbox; Any of Alex's numerous topics; SPAM v.1ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “I’m going with Pohatu’s Guide, easy. It has Pohatu in its name, thus attracts the female voters like George Clooney serving a chocolate cake in the middle of a room full of kittens.”
Choobs: “I really don't know. If I were to flip a coin, it would come up with ‘Asmo's Ascension to the Throne’ because there's a delicious sammich in the second post.”
SV: "And speaking of Alex," SV continues, smoothing a wrinkle casually out of her cerulean blue dress, "you remember all those topics he made, a few months back? You think they have a chance of winning Best Topic?" You open your mouth to respond, but SV cuts you off. "I know a lot of people are pulling for RP Tropes, so I won't be surprised if it wins. But all those topics... they were kind of amazing." And this year’s winner is… RP Tropes A decisive victory for RP Tropes, the breakthrough RP discussion topic this year. One of the things I really did like about this year was – well, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought there seemed to be a shift toward looking at RP as more of a presentational thing. It’s hard to define but you know what I mean? Like, compare the uber-showy, consciously literary LTR to its much less developed and more self-absorbed predecessor LAR. (Look at Emet, Bows, Entertain and Ishkazero too, while you’re at it.) I think the success of RP Tropes, with its implicit analogy of RP as a franchise with an audience, ties directly into that development. So do the two RP theme music topics. The score: Lee 4, Choobs 3, SV 3 BEST BOARD Last year’s winner: The Coffee Table This year’s candidates: RP Discussion; PRP; General RP; RP; General; The Scrap Heap ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “RP, which actually isn’t a board, has to take this. I mean, really. We get one total WTF moment a year, and this is it.”
Choobs: “RP Discussion. Obviously. This is an RP board, after all.”
SV: "General RP," she says simply. "How could it be any other board for Best Board? Seriously, some of the most brilliant things to come out of the Exy come out of General RP." The corners of SV's mouth quirk up in a smile. "Despite B-Dubbs' best efforts." And this year’s winner is… RP Discussion Well, I’ve kind of got to disagree with Lee’s contention that there was only one WTF moment among all the nominations this year, and unfortunately he was off the mark in predicting that the WTFiness of “RP” would carry it through to victory. (I doubt the people who voted for “RP” thought it was very WTFy anyway. I mean, it’s right there above Introductions & Greetings.) No, RP Discussion carried the banner this year. Again, I think it’s that paradigm shift at work. That’ll do, paradigm shift. That’ll do. The score: Lee 4, Choobs 4, SV 3 BEST FIC Last year’s winner: Unreliable Narrator StoryThis year’s candidates: Somewhere Between Life and Death; Things that go Bump in the Night; 90's unfinished story; Elliot's High School Musical knockoff And this year’s winner is… Somewhere Between Life and Death A worthy award for a worthy fic by a worthy man. “Somewhere” is a smartly crafted, assured piece of fiction that more than deserves the victory. But I’ve got to apologize to Elliot for not finding a link to his High School Musical knockoff. Can’t remember ever seeing this – is it on the fiction board? If it cost you any votes not to have the link there, sorry about that. BEST IMAGE Last year’s winner: The Battle at Camel-otThis year’s candidates: Blaise; Dace; Wargfare; TerrianAnd this year’s winner is… Blaise Man, I didn’t realize I was going to be eating up the nominations like that. There was a lot of great artwork that got snubbed at the noms for some reason. But hey guys, thanks for liking my stuff. Especially, it seems, that rather classy lady called Blaise Euler. BEST AVATAR (No, not the film with the ugly blue stick-people.) Last year’s winner: SV This year’s candidates: Pohatu; Lee; Qzumaki; Asmo; Choobs; Yellow Skittle; Blood And this year’s winner is… Lee An easy sweep here, as Lee was the only member to pick up more than one vote. And why not? That is a boss avatar. Commemorating a boss no the bossest of animes. You do know how to pick ‘em, Lee. BEST SIGNATURE Last year’s winner: SV This year’s candidates: Pohatu; Clicker; V101; Choobs; Elliot And this year’s winner is… Pohatu Okay, okay, Prime said he didn’t want this to stay in my signature, so I’ll go easy on him and remove it. But for the benefit of future generations, let me just preserve this beautiful quote here for posterity. He screamed in pain, writhing on the ground. Prime stood over him, a cold, yet loving expression on his face. "Now." Prime said, into Aurora's horrified eye's. "We, are one." Prime was indeed inside of him BEST ALTERNATE NAME Last year’s winner: Rupert Lulz This year’s candidates: Beelzebibble; Procrastaroth; ಠ_ಠ; Luxury Ch00b Ride; Kyuutie-pie; Demyx And this year’s winner is… ಠ_ಠ Wait, guys, I don’t even… Who had this alternate name? Who – Who was this? Help me out here? BEST SKIN Last year’s winner: Machine This year’s candidates: FMA; Machine; Parchment; Ulaich And this year’s winner is… Parchment Chalk another one up for Choobs, as for the second year running he makes off with the Best Skin award. No surprise really, especially since Parchment is a quite spiffy skin that isn’t really redundant with any other skins on the board. (By contrast, if Minimalism or Minimalism Dark had won, Pohatu’d be eye-spooning someone. Okay okay less with the editorials.) BEST POSTING GAME Last year’s winner: Insult the person above you in a rhyming couplet This year’s candidates: Quotes of Note; Post Race; Mafia; Questionnaire And this year’s winner is… Post Race Man, some dubious nominees here. A posting game means something along the lines of Hurt and Heal, not Mafia, which is an altogether different beast. I was iffy about Post Races too, but I guess they’re similar enough to the sort of thing you’d find in the Scrap Heap. And, more to the point, Post Racing dominated the votes. No contest here – us loves we our Post Races. BEST WIKI ARTICLE Last year’s winner: The Coffee Table This year’s candidates: Accusations of Pohatucentric bias on Archipedia; Lee; post in the rp; Point DL And this year’s winner is… Accusations of Pohatucentric bias on Archipedia Well, at the risk of inviting any more accusations of Pohatucentric bias in the Lugiasian Awards (there are already plenty as it is), I guess I’ll just try to humbly accept this one and move on quick. BEST EVENT Last year’s winner: The Sniflish Invasion This year’s candidates: Son of the Return of the Revenge of Loogs; Bulbabomb And this year’s winner is… Bulbabomb Man, not a very eventful year if the nominations are accurate. I guess 2008 only had three nominees so it’s not that big a dip, but if Loogs hadn’t come back, this would be a sparse corner of the ceremony indeed. But one of our greatest ever outbreaks of drama, evidently to go down in the history books as the “Bulbabomb,” reigned supreme. There were harsh words, there were lulz, there were naked ladies all over the… Oh, I guess that last bit wasn’t really a part of the Bulbabomb event. Unrelated incident. Never mind. BEST NEW BOARD CONCEPT Last year’s winner: Super Smash Bros. Archie Exie This year’s candidates: Post Races, Ishkabibble, RP Popularity Poll ASK THE EXPERTS Lee: “Post Race, despite its shaky background (One successful race, one washout, and one where an ‘Admin’ pitched a bitchfit.), has become a board standby. Compared to the mixed opinions on Ishkabibble, which needs to get past Scene 0 to truly prove its chops, and the astoundingly useful but dull RP Popularity Poll, and we’ve got no real competition.”
Choobs: “RP Popularity never went anywhere. Post Race seemed pretty important, but with Loogs’ little drama thang there, and with all the hype around Ish, I'd say Ish will take it.”
SV: After sharing a chuckle, you commence to ask SV her opinion on the Best New Board Concept. "Post Race," she says thoughtfully, then shakes her head. "No. Post Race is old news, particularly after the last race and the ensuing drama. The RP Popularity Poll seems pretty cool -- and don't get me wrong, I'd love to see it happen -- but I really think that Ishkabibble is a shoe-in for this year's award.
"I mean, remember what an impact the destruction of Slateport had on RP? From what I read of Scene Zero, which wasn't a whole lot yet, Ishkabibble could very possibly be the most innovative thing to happen to RP since..." She pauses, searching for the right words; when none can be found, she smiles sheepishly at you. "Since... well, ever." And this year’s winner is… Ishkabibble You know, I didn’t even really think this qualified for the award. I mean, it’s not quite a whole new board concept, is it? But, I guess it’s an unprecedented way to run and present an RP, so on that level, sure, why not? Really, I’m flattered to have scored this one, especially since Ish has barely even begun. (But I’m not sure why Choobs thinks the RP Popularity Poll fizzled out, and why SV seems to think it never, uh, happened at all. You guys did see this topic, right?) The score: Lee 4, Choobs 5, SV 4 BEST POST RACER Last year’s winner: n/a This year’s candidates: V101; Kuroboom; Blood; Hatedaries; SV And this year’s winner is… SV Personally, I would have given this to V101 in that flashy Millennium Falcon of hers, but there’s no question that SV really showed some class when she pulled Elliot up on board her chariot run by jet-powered cheetahs. Okay, no points for subtlety, I grant you, but class? Absolutely. WORST CONTEST Last year’s winner: n/a This year’s candidates: Unfinished Mafia; Bulbs’ Post Race; House Sumo Wrestling; Pyramid And this year’s winner is… House Sumo Wrestling It wasn’t the best year for contests, between Bulbs’ Post Race breaking down in the pits, Mafia V lying low for a long stretch in Sicily, and the Pyramid, well, collapsing (or, to use a more colorful metaphor, GETTING SUCKED UP INTO THE CHEST OF A GIANT F*CKING DECEPTICON RAAARRRRGH). Yet it was House Sumo Wrestling that managed to be the worst contest in the eyes of many, simply by virtue of never starting at all. I guess the lesson here is… it’s better to come up with a stupid idea, try to implement it, and fail miserably… than to come up with a clever idea and never do anything with it? Is that – Is that the lesson here? Oh man check it out check it out. Choobs has surpassed Lee. And SV’s caught up, so she and Lee are tied for second place. What will become of our experts as we move into your favorite category and mine, or, well, mine anyway, the Oscars?
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 30, 2009 13:01:01 GMT -5
Bulbs had that name.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 30, 2009 13:03:15 GMT -5
Oh yeah. Thanks.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 30, 2009 13:12:56 GMT -5
Also: I won something yay.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 30, 2009 13:16:21 GMT -5
Wait 'til tomorrow.
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Post by Ninety on Dec 30, 2009 15:44:16 GMT -5
My story is totes better than all of the other nominees because I haven't read any of them.
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Post by Tout-Perd on Dec 30, 2009 16:05:01 GMT -5
Bulbs may have, but IIRC, 'boom was the first to use it, as his avatar text shows.
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