|
Post by Tout-Perd on Sept 18, 2006 13:29:32 GMT -5
I'm afraid that I must now speak out against something that we all neglect to mention. Hamming oneself. There are many ways in which one can ham themself, foremost of which is the traditional smoked and honey glazed. In addition to deviled hamming and hammed pizza toppings, these incidents of self-ham have the potential to ruin our generation.
Soy ham packs all of the goodness of traditional ham, without the habit forming hickory agents.
|
|
|
Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 18, 2006 17:59:40 GMT -5
I do it for the attention.
|
|
|
Post by shinikarukitsune on Sept 18, 2006 18:32:19 GMT -5
I do it 'cause it makes me feel whole inside!
*nods wisely*
I have very often ham-and-cheesed myself, even if it's not as bad as full-out hamming.
*hams little brother*
|
|
|
Post by prime on Sept 19, 2006 19:30:42 GMT -5
...;;:::_:::;;... ....;0:::::0;.... .....::::;::::.... ........::::.......
|
|
|
Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 19, 2006 19:45:56 GMT -5
Um... Oh, geez. No, don't tell me, let me see if I can guess. A dog?
|
|
|
Post by Diamond Princess on Sept 20, 2006 7:17:18 GMT -5
I uhhh...I tell everybody I am a vego, but secretly at the end of the day....I go to my room and ham myself with hickory smoked ham....that stuff is the best. I like the deli slice kind too....at work I see the ham in the cooler and I cry...they ask me what's wrong and I tell them "Nothing, nothing at all."
I wish I could tell them the truth!
|
|
|
Post by Tout-Perd on Sept 20, 2006 10:43:47 GMT -5
I know what you mean. My church religiously (Well, how else would a church do anything?) forbids hamming myself, but sometimes, the temptation's just too intense!
|
|
|
Post by Loogs on Sept 20, 2006 15:45:03 GMT -5
Same here. I'm a turkeyer myself.... Yeah, I'm a dirty whore. .____.;
|
|
|
Post by bulbaboy on Sept 20, 2006 16:58:57 GMT -5
You guys got it easy. I'm a Self-Beefer and have been known to attack random cows to get my fix...
|
|
|
Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 20, 2006 19:43:23 GMT -5
Oh man, don't even get me started about self-beefing. I take bites out of passing cows. I can't help it. It is very shocking and tragic.
|
|
|
Post by prime on Sept 20, 2006 22:21:28 GMT -5
I'm a stripper, I strip down anything that's meat right to the bone. I'm CONSTANTLY running around town to these Strip Clubs! But they don't have meat in them, only naked women!!!
|
|
|
Post by Prof. Cinders on Sept 21, 2006 13:09:25 GMT -5
I'm both a turkeyer and a hammer... AT THE SAME TIME. I must... stay away... from the turkey ham... *hams oneself anyway*
|
|
|
Post by bulbaboy on Sept 21, 2006 17:13:29 GMT -5
It started with simple sausageing. Some with eggs occasionally maybe on a McMuffin… but then I had to have it all the time and eventually it wasn’t enough. I needed harder meats. I stated hitting chicken and other poultry but that left me tired and disoriented. I eventually started buying any type of meat product I get off the street which led to a bad bit of salmonella poisoning. After I recovered from the salmonella I realized it was time to get help. I tried a few different cliques but each one was the same… vegetarian substitutes for meat… I went into bad withdraws. After a few years I was given a clean bill of health and sent back into the world. I was back to a normal peanut butter diet when one of my friends had me try a BLT…. he convinced me it meant Brownie, Lettuce, and Tomato sandwich. Never against trying new things I did it… It was a rush having meat again… I tried to control it, I jerkyed myself for awhile but eventually I had to move up the chain to beef...
... Yeah... I was that bored today...
|
|
|
Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 21, 2006 19:01:33 GMT -5
Boredom, it seems, may yield brilliance.
|
|
|
Post by bulbaboy on Sept 21, 2006 20:28:06 GMT -5
*Exalts and gives Camel Boy a stick of beef jerky*
|
|
|
Post by prime on Sept 21, 2006 20:59:24 GMT -5
*exalts Bulbs for the totally awesome post*
|
|
|
Post by Diamond Princess on Sept 22, 2006 10:43:03 GMT -5
Off Topic: You guys crack me up. Plain and simple.
|
|
|
Post by bulbaboy on Sept 22, 2006 12:19:38 GMT -5
Man someone gave me a hamburger laced with deer meat!!! I'm trippin out man!!!! The desks and Chairs are dancin!!!! I think I can Fly!!!
|
|
|
Post by prime on Sept 22, 2006 13:54:07 GMT -5
OK, OK, we know your trippin bulbs! Just make sure you look at the ground before going towards the bright light in the sky! You don't want to walk of a cliff!
|
|
|
Post by ch00beh on Sept 26, 2006 23:36:10 GMT -5
Hi, my name is ch00, and I'm a self-hammer.
*polite applause*
----
"Mmm, this IS a tasty burger" - Samuel L. Jackson
----
<inserts a sexual innuendo to top it all off>
|
|
|
Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 27, 2006 5:34:39 GMT -5
Ah, ch00... Bless you, my friend, bless you.
|
|
|
Post by ch00beh on Sept 27, 2006 18:22:29 GMT -5
I enjoy ch00ing ham too
|
|
|
Post by Damien on Sept 28, 2006 6:37:05 GMT -5
Ever tried ham in a Ch00b? it's the best.
|
|
|
Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 28, 2006 7:37:51 GMT -5
I usually ch00se to esch00 such ch00w, but only because I am so ch00rlish with ch00psticks that I nearly ch00ked the last time I tried it. Ham slathered in ch00colate sauce is, however, a delight.
...
I think I'll go outside now.
|
|
|
Post by prime on Sept 28, 2006 16:52:28 GMT -5
...
*exalts pohatu*
|
|
|
Post by shinikarukitsune on Sept 28, 2006 18:20:07 GMT -5
Dip, dip, dip the ham, gently in the grease, munchity-crunchity-chewity-stewity,(what?) Ham is not a dream.
*loves her beautiful padded white walls*
...
*but not as much as her lovely white coat*
|
|