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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 22, 2007 7:56:07 GMT -5
To no one’s surprise, this sleepy little village has been subject to another grisly murder. When rosy-fingered Dawn prodded the townspeople awake, they discovered that Ocelot’s house had been thoroughly TP’d. A seemingly innocent prank, but under the circumstances it was a clear red sign.
The townspeople tentatively stepped onto the porch, knocked, rang the doorbell, and opened the door. As soon as they opened the door, a ghostly recorded laugh track played while a headless body dropped down from the ceiling on a rope. It was Ocelot.
The lights were off and the shades were down, but the living room was nonetheless illuminated by a single candle. The floor was covered in piles of candy in which nobody elected to partake. There was also, of course, the occasional razor blade mixed in among the Skittles and Reese’s. Lining the shelves were gruesome lawn ornaments that would have given five-year-olds nightmares.
I probably forgot to mention that the single candle had been placed inside an otherwise empty skull. It was immediately assumed, and later forensically proven, that this skull belonged to Ocelot.
So here’s the scoop:
OCELOT IS NOW DEAD!
Other events of the night came to light as well. Seems Bulbs was awoken around two in the morning by “breaking noises downstairs”. He rushed into the lounge to discover that someone had broken into his safe! An item had been stolen!
As if things weren’t bad enough, the Host desolately reported that his Shop had been burgled again, perhaps even by the same individual. Only seven freezes were still in stock.
“Awful,” said Baboon. “Absolutely atrocious. Accusations, anyone?”
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Post by bulbaboy on Feb 22, 2007 11:21:15 GMT -5
I humbly ask for My Posting Requirement To leaf me like fall.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 22, 2007 11:55:40 GMT -5
A haiku and a bad pun? I'm tickled! But you didn't accuse anyone. Hmm. Two points for you and one point against you. I will consider this.
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Post by Popebenedict on Feb 22, 2007 12:08:23 GMT -5
"And you all thought that Ocelot was a bad guy, how wrong you were, there can only be one person who would have done something like this to him, it must have been Choobeh. He wanted Ocelot dead last match, and falsely accused him of being Mafia. We must take Choobeh down!"
Vote: Ch00beh
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Post by Prof. Cinders on Feb 22, 2007 12:22:51 GMT -5
'IF you don't remember, Pope, pretty much everyone thought Ocelot was mafia,' Cinders reminded him, scornfully. 'If it was anyone, it was Bulbs! The lawn ornaments are a dead giveaway, and the skull? Come on, it's obvious.'
VOTE: Bulbs
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Post by Popebenedict on Feb 22, 2007 12:24:56 GMT -5
This is true, but Choobeh said that if he died this week it was cause Ocelot wanted him dead, it just seemed more...Mafia like to me, however I must agree with you, and at this point, when the innocents are thinning out, we must stick together with our votes.
Vote: Bulbs
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Post by bulbaboy on Feb 22, 2007 14:40:19 GMT -5
“The Tally board says Two for me. You people have Such cold hearts of Ice.”
Bulbs looks down sadly. “I remember in Summer Everyone liked me,
But now you all have Cast upon me the Blame. How Could you betray me?
I was making a Pair of Snow Boats last Night. So It can not be me.”
Setting down Bulbs looks Around at Everyone in The room with loathing.
“I don’t even own Any Lawn Ornaments of Doom. It’s still winter.
But Cinders was at The Lawn Ornament Store last Weekend." Vote: Cinders.
(omg that was a bitch….)
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Post by prime on Feb 22, 2007 14:52:56 GMT -5
"I'm siding with bulbs on this one, he's a good friend of mine and I wouldn't want to see him dead." Prime said, starting to take down some of the toilet paper. "And in any case, he was locked in his vault tonight. You see, tonight was the full moon, and he's a lycan, so if he'd been out, you all would've died. To blame can be cast on him, I doubt werewolves are intelligent enough to appericiate a good T-Pee'ing either." He pulled the last of the toilet paper down, and dropped a match into it. The whole house started to go up. "Whoops, I only meant for the toilet paper..." He tried to put it out with his shirt, but it was hopeless, the house was quickly an inferno. "DAMMIT!" Prime yelled, "There could've been evidence in there!!!"
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Post by bulbaboy on Feb 22, 2007 14:59:31 GMT -5
“Prime you were suppose To keep that a secret. Now I am dead for sure.
Why couldn’t you go with My Snow Boat story. They will Hate Me.” Vote: Cinders
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Post by ch00beh on Feb 22, 2007 15:00:02 GMT -5
"It couldn't have been me. Kaz and Baboon can vouch for me, since we were playing a very intense game of scrabble last night. Ocelot's death does throw things off a bit, though..." "I was sure he was mafia. But... what if the mafia were to kill their own, just to confuse the innocents?" ch00b thought for a minute. "Whatever the case, he's dead now. I really must wonder what Bulbs is doing with all those resurrections that he bought. Perhaps he planned on raising ocelot after this whole ordeal, trying to make him seem innocent? "And why were you making snow shoes? Maybe you wanted to trek over to Ocelot's house to TP it? And then give him a little 'treat'? Or 'trick'." Ch00b mumbled, "Hey, it's not my job to make bad puns."
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Post by prime on Feb 22, 2007 15:05:06 GMT -5
*blinks*
Vote: ch00beh, on the grounds that your totally insane. Lmao.
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Post by ch00beh on Feb 22, 2007 15:09:30 GMT -5
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 22, 2007 15:10:18 GMT -5
Prime burned the candy.
Remember that, people.
HE BURNED THE CANDY.
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Post by prime on Feb 22, 2007 15:16:58 GMT -5
"That's no funny Pohatu, Ocelot was NOT a pinata!" Prime said, scowling, wondering if the host was somehow taking sides with the mafia. "Aren't you supost to be impartial? Isn't it a little odd that your trying to make suspicion fall on me?" He asked. "Do you hunger for my blood? Because I've had so many near misses, you want me to do now?" Prime said, shaking his head. "You want to use my organs to decorate the town christmas tree, don't you? Or wait, maybe it'll be a rubix cube, like it was last time." Prime pointed the almighty finger at Pohatu. "BE SILENT WORM, YOU SHALL NOT INTERFEAR WITH THE SELECTION PROCESS. YOUR WORDS CARRY THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND SUNS, DON'T MAKE ME SHOVE THOSE SUNS UP YER ARSE, CUZ TRUST ME, IT'LL BURN!!!"
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 22, 2007 15:24:48 GMT -5
I'm not trying to make suspicion fall on you.
I'm just trying to make a sort of general hatred fall on you.
Because you burned the candy, Prime.
Maybe you were too wrathful and whatever else to read the report properly.
But there were piles of candy.
Piles and piles of candy.
And some razor blades. But mostly candy.
And you burned that candy, Prime.
You burned it.
So I wouldn't recommend losing your temper at me.
Because I wanted a godd*mn f*cking Three Musketeers bar.
And you burned the Three Musketeers bars.
You burned them.
Prime Edit - Gives Pohatu a three muskateers bar and pats him on the head.
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Post by ch00beh on Feb 22, 2007 15:27:01 GMT -5
photu is mafia! No, not really. But ch00b requests a lifting of the posting requirement.
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Post by prime on Feb 22, 2007 15:28:40 GMT -5
"Oh yes, and you wanted a razorblade stuck in your throat did you?" Prime said viciously. "Probably a booby trap the goddamn mafia left for us, see if they could get a few more of us while they were at it." He said, crossing his arms. "But hey, if you want, why doncha go into that inferno and eat some razor blade?"
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 22, 2007 15:37:05 GMT -5
The Host laughed. He was the only person to do so. "I guess only you and I see the humor here, don't we, Prime? Well, we'll laugh about it together after this is all over." He smiled sweetly. "I mean if you don't get yourself killed, of course."
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Post by prime on Feb 22, 2007 16:33:49 GMT -5
There was a long silence from Prime, then. "I'm scared now..."
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 22, 2007 18:23:33 GMT -5
"And well you should be. But not of me."
The Host turned to the crowd. "Who else will make an accusation?"
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Post by kazkame on Feb 22, 2007 19:09:32 GMT -5
i really don't trust most of these people except a few. professor cinders is not one of them due to the fact that she has not been vary clear of her whereabouts of the previous night if she could elaborate i will change my vote.
Vote: CINDERS
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Post by prime on Feb 22, 2007 19:12:32 GMT -5
"Meeeeh, it was her fault I was dismembered on a rubix cube last time, and Ocelot getting assassinated through me all out of wack." Prime said. "Sooooo, Cinders dies!"
VOTE: Cinders
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Post by Prof. Cinders on Feb 22, 2007 19:32:34 GMT -5
'Hey! Guys, I haven't been out of my house for hours, until now. For one thing, my sister was ill last night, and I had to look after her. For another, garden ornaments... I'm not weird enough to think that up... But perhaps, someone who put exactly that suggestion on his quiz, is.' Cinders looked around the room, suddenly feeling rather small and insignificant. 'I'm sticking with my vote for Bulbs.'
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Post by Loogs on Feb 22, 2007 20:31:08 GMT -5
"Bulbs is quite suspicious.... He's one of the few who's remained in the background for most of this time..." Loogs was halfway through her Pocky box. "And he DID vote for many who were proven innocent. So, since I have naught more to say, I'll put it simply and say that I suspect Bulbs."
VOTE: BUUUUULBS!
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Post by Damien on Feb 23, 2007 0:28:27 GMT -5
"Wow, who saw that coming, recent events considered this is certainly interesting." Pikachu said staring at the now roaring fire that had engulfed Ocelot's house. "It is very true that Bulbs has been a little suspicious these past few days, wishing the innocent dead and such."
Pikachu wandered through the dimished crowd carefully eyeing each person as he passed.
"Well, no obvious marks of the beast or swaztika tattoos. I guess the mafia aren't as easy to spot as I'd hoped." Suddenly Pikachu became very worried as he watched the flaming building once more "What if I'm next? What is this "Last time" that Prime speaks of? Why is that Puppy looking at me and why is Loogs always eating POCKY during times of crisis!? Not forgetting her suspicious banner proclaiming her innocence." Pikachu then began to feel weak and fainted. Luckily he regained conciousness just long enough to point an accusing figure at Bulbs. "Everyone knows...he loves...gardening.." That was all Pikachu could say before he blacked out again from smoke inhilation as the wind had suddenly begun blowing his direction.
Vote: Bulbs
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Post by Popebenedict on Feb 23, 2007 12:15:22 GMT -5
"No Cinders, go ahead and tell them the truth... It's time that we came out in the open. Cinders was with me last night, we are having a love affair. We didn't want anyone to know about it, but seeing as her life is now in danger, I must come out into the open. You can't kill my love, Bulbs is the true culpret... well I think he is, my love says he is, so I believe her... never the less Cinders is not guilty."
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