Private Stiffy
Joyeuse Insurgency
Ding Dong Inspector
FEAR MANOS
Posts: 136
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Post by Private Stiffy on Feb 19, 2007 19:22:26 GMT -5
A farmer appears in the distance, his large blue overalls masking his sinister appearance. He walks in upon the meeting, wishing to be heard, as his view was law, for he was the farmer!
"Well, I'ma vote for this Lee guy, he doesn't seem so good to me... what with all the stuff surroundin' him and the stuff... Ah'm just an old farmer, but I think he's a BAAAAAAAAD MAAAAAAN"
Vote: Lee
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 19, 2007 19:38:53 GMT -5
Don't. The eagle eyes of Sherlock Pohatu cannot be fooled.
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Post by ch00beh on Feb 19, 2007 20:47:11 GMT -5
"Don't you people see? Ocelot is the only one wishing to keep two innocent people dead. I saw him pass gas on their tombstones! AFTER urinating on them! "To all you people not voting for him, I hold y'all accountable as Mafia members," ch00bs said defiantly, knowing full well that this would probably cost him his life. However, if he did die the next day, everyone would know he was telling the truth.
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Post by Popebenedict on Feb 19, 2007 20:49:16 GMT -5
"I fully agree with you, Mister Choobeh, however, Lee is the God Father, and he must be killed off first. I suggest that we kill him now, then we take down Ocelot on the next round. DOWN WITH MAFIA!
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 19, 2007 20:57:40 GMT -5
Your post is looking at me.
I am frankly scared.
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Post by Damien on Feb 19, 2007 21:26:45 GMT -5
"HmMm 7his L33 ch4racht0r duz seem awfully suspicio000us n0w that eye consider it. R4ndm chang1ng of v0tes, smok1ng of a p1pe contain1ng unkn0wn sub5tances, a rather cur10uslly angl3d detect1ve hat (one might 3ven descr1be it 4s 'G4ng5ta')?" Pikachu paused for a moment "Ths le4ds me to ju5t one conclujion: L33 mu5t be a maf14 memebr!"
Vote: Lee
(Photu m1ght 1 4ask h0w l0ng th1s gastly p0sting r3qu1rment will g0 on f0r? 1s it a temp0rary th1ng or does it c0ntinu3 'till th3 end of th3 g4me?)
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 19, 2007 21:34:51 GMT -5
I decide, based on the efforts of all the posting requirement'd members so far, which ones deserve to shed their requirements first.
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Post by Tout-Perd on Feb 19, 2007 21:53:50 GMT -5
"Oh, please. This is the exact same ruse as it was on the last occasion that I was murdered. I, having discerned the nature of the mafia, immediately become the target of the members that realize my potential threat. It is fairly simple to surmise that they're telling the untruths here. I must say that it is almost certain that Ocelot and Prime are two of the mafia members..."
Lee spun violently, pointing his finger like the wrath of God at a group at the other side of the room. "The only question that remains is if the Mafia members left are Pope, Pika, or Ch00beh. I may or may not be a Detective, a Doctor, a Nurse, or a Vigilante, but I certainly have enough deductive skills to tell who's the Mafia in our village. I have yet to vote wrong, dear townsfolk. Hear my plea, and know that I speak justly. If I were Mafia, would I have voted against somebody other than the innocent last time this grizzly deed was carried out? It's plain to see that if you kill me, you're making a critical mistake."
VOTE: Maintaining Ocelot
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Post by ch00beh on Feb 19, 2007 21:58:42 GMT -5
"As of yet, I have only seen overwhelming evidence for ocelot's guilt. He hasn't even put up a defensive statement. I am not willing to convict Lee, even if he really is the godfather. "However, I am quite curious as to why Lee has pointed out that I may be a Mafia member... I specifically did some actions, and I believe that Lee has indeed noticed them to know my alliance... As such, my suspicions grow for him. "But! I am still voting for Ocelot, because I am without a doubt, 50% sure that he is at fault."
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Post by Tout-Perd on Feb 19, 2007 22:03:06 GMT -5
"I'm sorry. It's indeed idiotic of me. I should retract that statement. I will not deny that you were greedy and shifty on several occasions, but I doubt that indicates anything much worse than a common pickpocket." Lee said, offering a warm hug in apology for his hasty, haughty deductions.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 20, 2007 8:38:31 GMT -5
Our Host-who-puts-the-“glorious”-back-in-“vainglorious” steps up to the Tally-o-Matic and feeds in the votes thus far. The enormous machine factors in all the replacement voters and extra votes to come up with a shocking conclusion. With eight votes for Lee and eight votes for Ocelot… it’s a
TIE!
Making semi-excited noises, the crowd scuttles to the Tie Booth to shove Lee and Ocelot in. But the people gradually notice that one of their number hasn’t gotten up at all. Cinders is still sitting in her seat, staring dead ahead, completely unmoving. She’s been frozen for this entire period! Her vote is null and void!
And that means… the majority rules against none other than Lee!
The Host opens the Tie Booth and Ocelot scampers out gratefully. “I’m sorry, Lee, but the majority has spoken. We’re going to have to execute you.”
Lee cocks his head sideways. “Execute… me?” he asks blankly.
“…THAT DOES NOT COMPUTE.”
The Host stares at Lee. Comprehension dawns, and the Host gasps. “It’s the Bomb!” he shouts. “Everyone get out of the building!”
They comply, practically knocking the door off its hinges in their rush to get out. The Host tries to carry Cinders out, but since she’s a rigid dead weight, he can hardly do more than drag her. The two of them are the last to make it out of the town hall alive. RLRL and Kevin, on the other hand, aren’t quick enough to escape, and are consumed in the inferno as Lee explodes into trademark Flaming Metal Shards from Hell (FMSH).
Everyone sits, shivering, and watches the town hall burn.
“That’s the second town hall this month,” the Host complains.
“What happened?” asks Cinders. She has wisely chosen this moment to stop being frozen.
"Ow, my knee..." Pikachu grumbles. He then laughs, realizing that his posting requirement has been lifted! The Host will take requests from anyone else who wants to ask real kindly-like if they can shed the requirement.
“Hey, guys,” says Baboon, wandering back into the town square with nary a scratch. Hands up anyone who saw that coming.
LEE IS NOW DEAD! RLRL IS NOW DEAD! KEVIN IS NOW DEAD! BABOON IS NOW ALIVE!
“Wait a second…” The Host looks up into the sky. “My shoppy-sense is tingling.”
He runs to the Shop and enters the storage room. “Chaldrons and chandeliers! Where’d my infinite supply of resurrections go?”
The other townspeople have followed him into the Shop by this time. Someone wisely points out that there are still three resurrections sitting on the shelf.
“Yeah, but I used to have an infinite number of them. Someone has stolen infinity-minus-three of my resurrections! All right you louts! Who was it?”
Nobody speaks up, indicating either that they’re guilty and don’t want to confess, or that they’re innocent but don’t want to look suspicious, or that they have reservations about letting the Host know that there is no such number as three less than infinity.
* * *
THE THIRD NIGHT HAS BEGUN!
MAFIA MEMBERS: Go to the Xanga now to make your decision.
DOCTOR: You may PM me throughout the course of the next two real-time days naming a townsperson to protect.
DETECTIVE: You may PM me throughout the course of the next two days naming a townsperson to investigate.
VIGILANTE: You may PM me throughout the course of the next two days naming a townsperson to fire at.
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