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Post by Beelzebibble on Jan 30, 2007 7:22:01 GMT -5
I've got some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that the "underground laboratory" rumor that has been circulating around the town for months has finally been laid to rest. Not because it's false, mind you. This morning, policemen discovered an extensive laboratory built underneath the town bar. Everyone had deserted it long since, and it seems they took all the experiments with them... except one.
"We found our way into the center of the laboratory, right?" one policeman reported. "And we were in this, I don't know, little control room, with a keyboard. And there was a big window, and beyond it was this huge room with a... God, I don't know how to describe it... a big Rubik's cube just floating in the air. And there were body parts attached to it..."
The policemen soon worked out that the cube was being suspended in the air by magnetic repulsors lining the walls of the chamber, and that they could rotate the cube by manipulating the keyboard. However, they couldn't figure out how to solve the Rubik's cube until they found an eleven-year-old boy and gave him a gallon of Sprite. He was able to solve the puzzle in under ten seconds.
Once the cube had been restored to its original state, the victim was clear: Prime had been strapped to the red side of the cube in a gruesome parody of the Vitruvian Man. He had been slowly torn apart in all dimensions at once when the killers had scrambled the puzzle.
The mortician did his second double-take of the week when he looked at Prime's body.
"Christ, the things I put up with," he was heard to say. "First a Slinky and now this? What, do the Mafia members have a toy fixation or something?"
The eleven-year-old boy seemed not to have been scarred by Prime's ghastly death at all, and indeed asked the policemen if he could take the Rubik's cube home with him "once you get all the dead guy off it". Needless to say, the policemen shot him immediately.
I'm kidding of course. They just gave him twenty years in the clink.
PRIME IS NOW DEAD!
(That's the bad news.)
Who's to blame? Who might have known about that laboratory? Who spends a lot of time in bars? Who actually knows that a particular drawing they've seen a million times is called the Vitruvian Man? I DON'T KNOW! GET ACCUSIN'!
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Post by Krazy Glue on Jan 30, 2007 10:11:42 GMT -5
There are certain people in this world that tend to exist only for logicalnessisms... These people can normally be distinguished by their general hatred to weaker parts of society or nature, they tend to become the mad scientists that try to purge any form of "weakness" from the world around them... There is only one person in this town that we can blame for that... Someone so evil, someone so corrupt... Wait Prime's already dead... *crumples up paper and throws it away*
Anyway, moving on.... Evil genius' are hard to come by these days, they are characterised by a general dislike of anything good and virtuous... therefore I must vote for the only logical candidate.
VOTE: Bulbs
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Post by Baboon on Jan 30, 2007 16:54:31 GMT -5
Baboon sheepishly speaks: "...Perhaps I was wrong about Lee yesterday. It seemed to fit awfully well with the events of the past few days. I am greatly sorry for jumping to conclusions without seeing the whole situation. Maybe if he weren't acting so questionably, he could have proven his innocence to us a little better. Regardless, that is now behind us and we are faced with the daunting task of levelling the field. The events of last night are especially gruesome. First we awoke in the morning to find a Slinky-like Pikachu in a rather dead state, and now it appears Prime has been sliced, diced, and scrambled. A Rubik's Cube is a rather unusual instrument of death, and it seems fitting that we determine why such an item would be used. I know for a fact that I have absolutely no talent with such a toy, and have never successfully completed one. I rather prefer to stay away from the things. One would have to be awfully smart (or rather foolish) to spend time with a Rubik's Cube." *looks around at the six other villagers...* "Who could have done this? There's DL, Cinders, Bulbs, RLRL,... l00gs, and ch00bs. For some reason, those 0's bother me. Could they possibly be instances of 'leet-speak'? I have heard about this before. Apparently it is widely used among young computer users, especially those who 'hack' into other people's computers. You would have to be pretty smart to hack... So... will my vote go to l00gs or ch00bs... l00gs is being quite shady around the village recently. However, if we notice, Prime was killed on the second night. If l00gs were a mafia member, would you not assume Prime would have been the primary target? Instead, he was not killed until now, the third death in our village. It is on these grounds that I believe ch00bs is hiding something from us. Plus, look at this menacing picture of him:" " VOTE: ch00bs
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Post by bulbaboy on Jan 30, 2007 17:39:35 GMT -5
“I think we should all calm down for a moment. I mean we shouldn’t just start blaming people off the tops of our heads.” Bulbs says after hearing a vote for himself.
The person who tried to interrupt Bulbs from the day before stands up and interjects, “Yesterday you were more than willing to blame ch00bs right off the bat. I think you’re just scarred because now you’re in the line of fire.”
Bulbs stares at the person for a minute before speaking, “So help me God, if I hear one more idiotic syllable come out of your mouth I will kick you in the face.” The persons quickly sits down and puts both hands over his mouth.
“Now where was I?” Bulbs restarts, “Oh yes. I didn’t do it. I’m ashamed to admit that I was in the bathroom last night. You see I went to a Mexican buffet last night. I decided to take on Hungry Jose in an eating contest. I won but at a terrible price. From the moment I got home to just a little before I came here… I was in the bathroom. I- oh crap not again!” Bulbs rushes into the bathroom.
In a loud voice, so everyone can hear him from the bathroom, Bulbs continues, “I think we all know who it is though!”
Vote- ch00bs
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Post by Prof. Cinders on Jan 30, 2007 18:19:50 GMT -5
Cinders sat in her chair, tapping the arm nervously, very aware of the fact that she was very nealy bumped off the previous day. Waiting for the others to finish speaking, she cleared her throat tentatively. 'We've all seen some horrible things recently. I've never seen such gruesome deaths, and I almost pity those demented minds that thought them up. But I know justice has to be done.' She looked around the group, taking in everyone there, and the occupied bathroom of course. She sighed, making a decision.
'And it is such a demented mind I have to accuse. We've seen him everywhere, his manic jokes and silliness accounted to randomness. But now... This. Toys. Who else would think of a slinky? Who else a rubik's cube? I've never even touched one, let alone a giant one, and I doubt even sprite would help me solve it. Only a mind so demented, so twisted, so bizarre, could possibly concoct a plan as devious as this.' She looked squarely at the villager she was about to accuse. 'I wish I didn't have to do this,' she muttered.
Vote - ch00bs
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Post by ch00beh on Jan 30, 2007 20:21:49 GMT -5
"Woah woah woah. Way to jump to conclusions, guys," ch00bs suddenly said. "It couldn't have been me. I have ADD, so I wouldn't have the attention span to mess around with a Rubiks cube. If I were going to do anything, I'd do it in the quickest possible way so there would be less chances to be distracted.
"Also," ch00bs said, "I'm never anywhere near the bar. For one thing, I'm under 21. Also, last night, I was so exhausted from skiing over the weekend that I went to sleep early.
"Baboon, yes, I am a programmer. Yes, I do have 0's in my name. But just because I am a programmer doesn't mean I enjoy logic puzzles. If anyone has read any of my code, people will see the disorganization and odd bits I make.
"Cinders, your argument is rendered useless by saying that I am a 'random' person. I won't deny that personality trait, but random and logic generally don't mix. I've said it already, but I'll say it again: logic puzzles make me cry.
"But look, wasn't it oddly convenient that Bulbs was distracted during his speech to run to the bathroom? I stand here, confidently telling you all that I was not the murderer, nor did I have anything to do with it, yet Bulbs runs to the bathroom. As we all know, Mexican food contains a number of beans, yet despite his eating, I neither heard," he said while sniffing, "nor smelt any passing of gas."
Vote- Bulbs
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Post by Beelzebibble on Jan 30, 2007 20:27:14 GMT -5
A vote for Bulbs, then, Andurin?
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Post by ch00beh on Jan 30, 2007 20:36:05 GMT -5
woops, yeah, vote for Bulbs
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Post by bulbaboy on Jan 30, 2007 21:29:11 GMT -5
Bulbs walks out of the bathroom trailing a bit of toilet paper from his foot. Everyone is giving him odd looks of mistrust. Confused Bulbs looks up at the Chalkboard in the front of the room. He sees ‘ch00bs vote – Bulbs’.
Turns to ch00bs, “That is so cheap! Only a truly evil person would wait till the person was in the bathroom to accuse them!”
Vote – ch00bs…. and that we put speakers in the bathrooms.
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Post by ch00beh on Jan 30, 2007 22:54:16 GMT -5
"Only a trully evil person would pretend to go to the bathroom to avoid accusation!"
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Post by Beelzebibble on Jan 31, 2007 7:46:49 GMT -5
Our illustrious Host smiles. "Speakers will be installed."
Turning to the silent characters, he says: "Any word from you? You have one more day to make an accusation."
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Post by Beelzebibble on Feb 1, 2007 8:25:25 GMT -5
"No? All right." The Host clears his throat. "With three votes for Andurin and two votes for Bulbs, the verdict is clear once more. Our second execution will be... Andurin!"
The same burly men drag Andurin onstage. He is neither bound nor gagged.
"Any last words?" the Host asks. Andurin does, indeed, have a few choice words for the occasion, but the Host continues to speak over his cries. "Very well. I think, today, we'll have him run the gauntlet."
There is an excited buzz from the townspeople, all of whom seize cudgels from under their seats and line the walls of the town hall. The entire perimeter is laced with townspeople, except the door in the far corner. The Host and the burly men take Andurin to that corner. The burly men strip Andurin to the waist (revealing an utterly ripped torso).
"Kind of an archaic form of execution, but I'm fond of it. Here is your task, Andurin. It's very simple: You must run the perimeter of this room. If you make it all the way around and back to this door, you are permitted to leave. No one here will be allowed to stop you... for the first hour, anyway. That should give you sufficient time to flee the town." The Host pulls out a pistol. "If you don't run the entire perimeter, however..."
He turns to address the entire town hall. "You know the drill, ladies and gentlemen. Go for the legs first.
"All right, Andurin. You may begin."
As the Host strides through the seats into the center of the room, Andurin begins running. Excited little shouts burst through the room as one townsperson, then another, gets a hit. Most of the townspeople aren't too accurate, but when those cudgels do strike, they're crippling.
Three hits. Four hits. It is clear that Andurin will no longer be running the full length of the gauntlet. He's limping now, still trying to keep a good pace up, but with every hit he loses speed, making it easier for subsequent townspeople. He's past the first corner.
Nine hits. Ten hits. We recognize some of the faces -- Loogs, Bulbs, RLRL. There are Mafia members here. What's even more frightening is that there are innocent people here, too, scores of them, all gleefully aiding in Andurin's execution. He's past the second corner.
Eighteen hits. Nineteen hits. He's on his knees now, painting a red ring around the hall. The townspeople are moving on to other targets -- his hands, his back. Not the head. They know to save that for last. The Host is surprised: Andurin has stuck to the course. He's past the third corner, and on the final stretch.
Thirty-two hits. Thirty-three hits. He's dragging himself across the floor now. The townspeople are screaming, a little out of excitement, a little out of terror. Straight out of Lord of the Flies. Andurin's almost to the door when he collapses and lays still, sobbing. The Host pulls the hammer back. Ought to put him out of his misery. An honorable man doesn't deserve a slow death.
But before the Host can shoot, the final cudgel comes down, straight on Andurin's head. The sobbing ceases immediately.
Everyone stares at the last person in the gauntlet. It's Baboon.
"What?" he asks.
ANDURIN IS NOW DEAD!
* * *
Seems Andurin wasn't the Bomb. Whew! Anyway, you'll find his alliance posted in the Cemetery.
THE THIRD NIGHT HAS BEGUN!
MAFIA MEMBERS: Go to the Mafia: Night board now to make your decision.
DOCTOR/NURSE: You may PM me throughout the course of the next two days naming a townsperson to protect.
DETECTIVE: You may PM me throughout the course of the next two days naming a townsperson to investigate.
VIGILANTE: You may PM me throughout the course of the next two days naming a townsperson to fire at.
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