THE OSCARS
BEST RECENT RP
Last year’s winner: Fallfish
This year’s candidates: Emet; Luxury Train Ride; Funeral Pyre for a Fuzzball; Rainbow, Shortbow, Mindblown; Ishkabibble
ASK THE EXPERTS
Lee: “LTR by a landslide. Whatever RP has the most people gets the most votes. Emet, though moody and sophisticated, lacks the fanbase to take it all the way.”
Choobs: “The major contenders, at least in my book, for this are Emet and LTR. Both have top notch RPers going at it, and they both have shown superb levels of writing. The problem with both is that they're still in the intro stages.”
SV: "...But [Ishkabibble]'s not so amazing as to win Best Recent RP before it starts, Pohatu's ego aside." She grins at you before continuing. "Luxury Train Ride could be pretty awesome, but it hasn't been yet. Really, I'm going to say Emet. It's been off to a slow start, but it still seems promising. Of course, I might be a little biased."
And this year’s winner is… Luxury Train Ride
Lee’s landslide prediction was right, as LTR dominated the votes this year. Of course, Lee’s proposal that whichever RP has the most people gets the most votes certainly wasn’t true last year, so let’s do Choobs the honor of supposing that LTR has merits beyond its crowd of participants. Let’s imagine a world in which LTR is actually an awesome RP simply in itself. Now, I ask you: does that world seem so far away?
The score: Lee 5, Choobs 6, SV 4
BEST OVERALL RP
Last year’s winner: End Game
This year’s candidates: Triannual; Chords in an Ethereal Harp; End Game; Fallfish; Winter
And this year’s winner is… Triannual
Guys, I think we got the order here mixed up. Triannual really ought to have won last year, when it was making much more progress and providing all kinds of really intriguing character interaction. End Game should have won
this year on the strength of its finale. But oh well. They both deserve this award, so I’m glad they can both claim it, at any rate.
(Addendum for the non-Pokeschool natives: Winter was an RP back on P-Skool. I never got to read the whole thing, but my understanding is that the South Pole Summoners, led by Miko, destroyed Thyra’s hometown of Slateport City. I forget why exactly. You know what, Lee can explain this better.)BEST PLOT TWIST
Last year’s winner: Terrian hired by the villains in TriannualThis year’s candidates: The kiss in Endgame;
Terrian’s development in Ulima;
The Dinner in Emet;
Ender dies;
Mild mannered Julia Romanesco is actually the ludicrously eccentric Masquerade!;
Rie’s attempted suicide in the End Game finale;
Paolo's gunASK THE EXPERTS
Lee: “There’s like only two actual plot twists on this f*cking list. I’d take The Kiss in Endgame, just since it gets the most publicity. Dinner in Emet and Rie’s Attempted Suicide are the only really decent twists in there, but I don’t expect them to get any credit.”
Choobs: “I announced the End Game kiss before it happened, so it wasn't a very good twist. Same reasoning for cancelling out Terrian; we all knew it was coming. Masquerade's reveal got botched by bad writing. This will sound sketchy, but really the only thing that surprised me without sounding out of place was Rie's suicide attempt. Yes, I had no plans for that; it just kind of happened.”
SV: SV appears sorrowful at the mention of the prospective Best Plot Twist. "Ender dying," she says solemnly. "Who expected Choobs to kill off his character like that? So sad."
And this year’s winner is… Rie’s attempted suicide in the End Game finale
Yeah, Choobs has the right idea about the nominees here; it’s true that about half of them were telegraphed beforehand, and the other half were underplayed to the extent that they didn’t end up reading as twists. Rie’s attempted suicide is a pretty sterling example of doing it right.
The score: Lee 5, Choobs 7, SV 4
WORST RP
Last year’s winner: Miss, Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven?
This year’s candidates: RXing; Oyster Crackers; That Shrinking Feeling; The Crystal Part 2
And this year’s winner is… Oyster Crackers
Man, ouch for Shrinking, gettin’ nommed two years in a row. And yet, now as then, there’s another RP that beat it for the title. Now I’m not going to make any snarky comments around this time. I don’t have any snark on reserve for the winner, Oyster Crackers, mostly because there’s not much to say about it. I guess it’s the worst of the four mentioned by virtue of not even managing ten replies before going belly-up. But is that really so wrong? Maybe it
really won Worst RP because we’re all disappointed Lee never followed through with
this promise.
BEST STORYTELLER
Last year’s winner: Lee
This year’s candidates: Choobs; Elliot; Kevin; Bulbs; Lee; Pohatu
And this year’s winner is… Lee
Oh Lee. It says a lot about the…
complex nature of the relationship between the rest of us and Lee that he won both Biggest Procrastinator and Best Storyteller two years in a row. Clearly we don’t
want to rely on Lee so much. We want to be able to break free of his procrastinative ways and RP at our own paces. But we’re always drawn back to him like moths to the light. It’s a ballet of obsession. I’m not the only one who’s getting this whole vibe here, right?
BEST RECENT RP CHARACTER
Last year’s winner: Terrian
This year’s candidates: Julia; Telrien; Ophelia; Paolo
And this year’s winner is… Telrien
Let’s face it, the real front runners here were Julia and Telrien (sorry Blood and Q, but Ophelia and Paolo don’t have the same mainstream appeal. Yet, anyway). I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to see Julia take this award, since she’s had a
very productive and rewarding first year in ORP. But I’m guessing what swung the vote was that as finely crafted as Julia is, she’s nothing less than what we’d expect of Choobs’ excellent character building skills. Whereas I think Cendra really surprised everyone by
debuting in RP with Telrien, who’s such a savvy character that she fit seamlessly into ORP from Cendra’s first post.
BEST OVERALL RP CHARACTER
Last year’s winner: Zebedee
This year’s candidates: Natalie; Terrian; Rhys; Rick; Zebedee; Rhometer
ASK THE EXPERTS
Lee: “Terrian was almost a shoe-in for this, until Pohatu stepped him out of the spotlight. He may still make it, just based on ‘Brand Power’, but we’ve got the VERY strong competition of perennial fan-favorites Rhometer and Natalie, and darkhorse (pun unintended) Rhys. Most likely, though, this’ll turn into a Bull Moose scenario, and Terrian takes it anyways.”
Choobs: “Despite all his hype, Terrian looks to be the best overall RP character, not for what he is, but for what he's done. Due to Potato's lovely writing, Terrian's non-combat has pretty much changed the way RP plots go; no longer does everything have to end in a fight to be interesting. Also, Terrian's power, which under normal circumstances would only be good for crushing foes with sheer weight, has been fleshed out to be the source of some of the most interesting plots around.”
SV: "That's a tough one," SV tells you, matter-of-factly. "Rhys is a great character, but I don't know how he got nominated. All the nominees represent some of the Exodus's finest. But, if I were pressed to give an answer, I would probably have to say Terrian Brogue. Terrian is brilliantly written and brilliantly developed, and he's really a down-to-earth guy in a canon that can sometimes be over the top."
You look down to see a five dollar bill being offered in your general direction. SV winks at you slyly. "It would sure be cool if Rhys won, though."
And this year’s winner is… Terrian
Oh shucks you guys. All right, moving on. Oh wait, look, this is the first time all three experts agreed. C-C-COMBO! Two points for everyone!
The score: Lee 7, Choobs 9, SV 6
BEST CAST
Last year’s winner: Pohatu (as “Best Characterizer”)
This year’s candidates: Elliot; Kevin; Lee; Choobs; Pohatu; Qzumaki
And this year’s winner is… Choobs
Right, so what was I saying about Choobs’ talent for character building? I guess this means Julia gets some credit where credit is due after all. And Rie does, too. And Vieve. And Masquerade. Wait, she’s Julia. And Mandelbrot. And Ender too I GUESS, except for the part where he’s dead.
BEST PERSONALITY
Last year’s winner: Rie
This year’s candidates: Terrian; Nopcsa; Masquerade; Emily; Miko
And this year’s winner is… Nopcsa
Sleeper hit Nopcsa manages to get this one in under the radar despite brushing up against some higher-profile personalities. And he deserves it. Lee makes it all look so easy with Nopcsa’s casually teasing manner, but there’s some subtle depth to his take on the
Gadfly archetype. And you’ve got to give the guy some credit for going from minor support in Triannual to unofficial Fascere Order mascot without breaking a sweat.
BEST HISTORY
Last year’s winner: Sly
This year’s candidates: Yoshimitsu; Kevin; Sly; Zebedee; Durant
And this year’s winner is… Yoshimitsu
Oh, just
go read it, I don’t have to tell you what a great history Yoshi has. Sure, there are a lot of incidents that are kind of divergent, as you would only expect from a character with such a long RP resume, but the central thread of his friendship/rivalry/enmity with Vincent really ties the whole thing together and makes for a cohesive and compelling arc. And it ain’t over yet.
BEST POWERSET
Last year’s winner: Terrian
This year’s candidates: Helen; Summer; Yoshimitsu; Jacqueline; Annanias
And this year’s winner is… Yoshimitsu
Hey, wow, two of the core three character-attribute awards got reeled in by the same guy this year. Although, to be honest, I’m not going to be able to praise Yoshi’s powerset as I could his history. That’s because I don’t really have a very good grasp on his powers. I mean, okay, he’s super fast and good at swords, and he can summon Bahamut etc. and control elements and I guess he can go Super Saiyan too? He’s just all over the place, you know? I’m more of a fan of the nominees like Helen and Jacqueline, who draw versatile applications out of a single central concept instead of tossing a bunch of powers into a blender. But apparently the majority disagrees. (And okay okay no more with the editorials I mean it this time.)
BEST RECENT RPER
Last year’s winner: Pohatu
This year’s candidates: Cendra; Qzumaki; Shroud
ASK THE EXPERTS
Lee: “Qzumaki has a decent chance, since she’s a new RPer, good writer, and popular, but I personally would like to put a word in for both Shroud and Cendra, who though not as showy, have both shown some real classic ability as RPers and very nice punctuality in their topics.”
Choobs: “I wasn't even aware that Lone RPed, so Cendra and Q are the contenders here. They're pretty even, so I have nothing more to say.”
SV: Upon being asked, SV considers the nominees for Best Recent RPer. Finally, she shakes her head. "You know, I'm just not sure," she admits earnestly. "I haven't read anything of Lonewolf's, and I haven't read much by Cendra or Q. What I have read of theirs was excellent, though. Really, it's a toss-up between them. Both -- and Lonewolf, too, I'm sure -- are talented writers and show great promise. It's a pity we can't award them both. Er, all three."
And this year’s winner is… Cendra
Yeah guys, Lone/Lonewolf/Shroud is in that topic called Funeral Pyre for a Fuzzball. You remember that one? You know, Gilgamesh started it years ago. Now Lee has this crazy idea of reviving it even though Gil is long gone. So crazy! Scoff scoff scoff! Anyway Cendra, appropriately, takes home both this and Best Recent RP Character. Nice pair there, Cendra. Oh god damn it that came out wrong. Okay, well anyway, no points to
any of our experts because none of them demonstrated enough conviction in Cendra’s singular merit. Sorry, experts!
Dass how Pohatu rollz The score: Lee 7, Choobs 9, SV 6
BEST OVERALL RPER
Last year’s winner: Lee
This year’s candidates: Choobs; Pohatu; Cendra; Shroud; SV
And this year’s winner is… Pohatu
Okay okay I hear your disapproval from here Prime I
know you’re tired of the all the Pohatu fellatio. Thanks, guys. On we go.
MOST IMPROVED RPER
Last year’s winner: Clicker
This year’s candidates: Kevin; Blood; Prime
And this year’s winner is… Blood
Quite a majority vote here, more than I would have expected. That’s not meant to be a dig at Blood – it just seems that he’s done his best work so far, and
improved what his best work is, in Fallfish, on an RP board many members here pass over. Either his ORP appeal also picked up more than I realized, or more people have seen Fallfish than I realized. One way or another, though, well done Blood.
BEST RP COUPLE
Last year’s winner: n/a
This year’s candidates: Blaise/Terrian; Rhometer/Vieve; Natalie/Ender; Nopcsa/Terrian; Miko/Haze; Mia/Rick
And this year’s winner is… Natalie/Ender
Ah, Best RP Couple. One of the dearest new additions to the Lugiasian Awards this year. And quite a motley roundup we had for the first time around, with couples ranging from “
Official but antiquated” and “
Future possibility but not quite yet” to “
Haha, yeah, they’d be cute eh” and “
Fangirls line up here”. Only two ships among the nominees are really out sailing the wine-dark sea right now, and between the choices there’s no surprise who won. Rick and Mia haven’t faded from view, being featured in The Crystal Part 2, but the resolution of Natalie/Ender was one of the greatest RP moments of 2009. Too bad
the resolution of Ender happened soon afterward.BEST RP POST
Last year’s winner: n/a
This year’s candidates: Prof. Terrian, Marine Geologist;
The Hector-Yoshi spar;
Terrian's heart-to-heart with Laksha;
Ender and Nat's kiss;
End Game finaleAnd this year’s winner is… End Game finale
Yep, that same post scored not one but two awards this year, between Best Plot Twist and this. The other candidates were all quite worthy as well, but I guess it’s appropriate that what will probably be remembered as one of ORP’s best endings managed to nab twice the awards. All right there, Choobs.
BEST FIGHT
Last year’s winner: n/a
This year’s candidates: Terrian vs. Summer, Ulima;
The kids vs. Ophelia, Fallfish; The whole of
Survivor;
Valon vs. Basilisk, Triannual;
Miko vs. Rick, Summoner Style;
"Fruit man vs. Mime," UlimaAnd this year’s winner is… Miko vs. Rick, Summoner Style
No question about it – this fight, unique among the nominees, is a match of
ideals. Rick and Miko’s knock-down dragout (which technically started in 2008, but no big deal since it was December and that awards season was already underway) goes beyond a mere “demonstration of powers” and into a deadly serious character confrontation. This is an intense and satisfying read, and it well deserves the award. But damn it I am still not happy with Rick suddenly
duplicating himself toward the fight’s end. Man, Bulbs, I should be getting royalties for this! How would you feel if I turned around and said “Oh, by the way, Terrian’s an Andalite now?” (No, you are not allowed to think that’s awesome.)
MOST TWISTLESS RP
Last year’s winner: n/a
This year’s candidates: Luxury Airship Ride; Chords in an Ethereal Harp
And this year’s winner is… Luxury Airship Ride
Okay. Okay. One more rant from me today. You ready? Here goes. You know how this award started? Lee suggested a “Least Surprising RP” on the Coffee Table. It was supposed to commemorate an RP that has “failed most spectacularly to defy genre conventions” maybe those weren’t his exact words but you get it. Instead, this turned inexplicably into the more awkward-sounding and contrived “Most Twistless RP”. And so we got a flood of people saying “LAR because it never had a plot in the first place SNARF SNARF!” Setting aside the matter that LAR definitely
got a little twisty toward the end there, we’ve totally missed the point behind the award in the first place. (Nobody would call LAR the “Least Surprising RP” ever. It featured a totally surreal dance-off/HAM-OFF on board an airship supposedly full of rich upper-class twits.) Add that to the crazy lack of nominations and this is a pretty lame way to conclude the Oscars this year. Pfft. Whatevs. I’m not bitter.
Anyway, here’s a reminder of the score so far. Choobs is still in the lead with 9 points to Lee’s 7 and SV’s 6. Tomorrow we move on to our final category and
lightning round,
the Nobels, where the points count triple or something! I don’t know, is that how lightning rounds work?