Welcome, one and all, to the first Post Race of 2010! We've got competitors coming in from around the globe, all eying the massive EP prize at stake this time. We've got racers young and old, male and female, serious and silly, SPAMmish and Oloysian.
Some wear funny hats, others wear funny shoes, and some of the bravest among them can be spied wearing both!
Among the first of the racers to show up is the ever stylish and savvy Elliot. This time, he's traded in his trusty broomstick for a much more modern form of conveyance. The noble Jetpack, steed to many generations of English nobility, will be his conveyance this time.
Not too far behind, and certainly not lacking in his own unique flair, is Pohatu, Camel Knight, Ringleader of Renard, the Baron of 'Bibble. He's taken the helm a ship which is either some kind of genetic hybrid between a whale and a boat, or the middle of an attempt by an amorous ship at creating such a vessel.
In a much more modestly proportioned craft, though somewhat more flamboyant, is the resplendent SV. A fierce competitor in Post Races past, it is unknown what she's racing for. Is it EP? Carrots? EP
and carrots? Even the sage wisdom of our host can not penetrate her veil of mystery. She's sailing what appears to be a talking boat. That is... unless it's sailing her! (Of course, such a notion would be preposterous, right, SV?)
Bringing more girl power to the fore, Cendra arrives shortly behind the others. She's a first time racer this year, and says that she's hoping to use her confusion as a first time player to V101 her way into victory. She's procured a cetacean sub, mayhaps the progeny of Pohatu's craft. Will a stirring family drama come of this race?
Aries, if I 'm not mistaken, was the first person ever to be blown to smithereens in a Post Race. As far as I can tell now, though, he's back with a vengeance. He's flying an F-14 Tomcat (which for some reason is hovering behind the starting line, but I digress.) with what appears to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex as his copilot. He's got the most awesome backseat driver possible, and one sharply military ride. Will this be enough to tip the odds in his favor?
Speaking of aircraft, we've got a first time racer coming in just now. The Hateful Hardtack, the Cruel Cruller, the Baker's Bastard, Eeevvviiilll Biscuit! He's in the iconic airship the Highwind, though one must ask if he's got any golden chocobos in reserve. It's unknown how this new racer will do, and we're about to find out!
Rolling in to the aft of the herd is Lonewolf, another former hopeful. He... Holy cloudy with a chance of meatballs, Batman! He seems to be riding a sandwich of Mama Cassian proportions, braving the waves and elements with naught but salami and rye to defend him. Hopefully, this smorgasbord won't be drawing too many sharks before it crosses the finish line!
Second in the wolfpack is Fleetwolf, a first time hopeful. Will her dreams of a swimming pool full of EP be crushed? Will she be unable to hire a private masseuse with seemingly ludicrous sums of virtual moolah? If her choice in rides is any indication, she has quite a shot! She's piloting some sort of aircraft that seems designed especially for rattling the cages of rural Floridians and conspiracy buffs, some sort of green UFO. It's good to know that the alien invaders are becoming environmentally friendly, isn't it?
Surprisingly quickly despite his ride, Choobeh comes in between the wolves. This is, as far as I recall, his first time in one of these events. Will his carefully timed entry tear asunder the competition like he broke the wolf combo? It's hard to say, but if there's a ride unlikely enough to win, it's almost impossible to top Slowbro.
BloodWolf was among the first to register, though it seems that he had a delay in picking out his ride for the occasion. He's in the Egg Carrier, a titanic fortress ship, and seems to be hoping that its association with a speedy blue hedgehog will be enough to speed it through the race. This is the first full race Blood's been in, so he has pent up Post Race fury to unleash!
A bizarre procession of stacked vehicles is the next in the line, with the much loved racer Kuroboom perched at the very top. He seems to have taken the “more is better” approach to Post Race, with no less than four separate vehicles combined into some sort of Voltron of aquatic speed. I spot a treadmill, Jacques Cousteau (albeit rather hungry for brains, seemingly), a gigantic prehistoric shark, and the infamous Edgar. Will more is more hold true?
The second to last racer is Tangrow, a sparklingly new member coming into their first Post Race. They don't seem likely to mess around though, as they've straight to the top of the hierarchy of flying animals. They're being flown around by the Flying Cat of Friendship and/or Cats, though I certainly doubt the feline will be extending much hospitality to the other racers in this cut throat event.
Last, but not least is Shoni. One of many of the first-time racers in this event, Shoni's bringing enthusiasm, determination, and a whole lot of gunpowder along for the ride. He's got himself a Pirate ship, a trustworthy ride in these treacherous seas. Could this direct, time honored approach be what it takes to overcome the more esoteric enemies?
Now that we've got introductions out of the way, let's get down to business.
The host is ready, the competitors are ready. Is the course ready?
*the faint wailing of lost souls is heard in the distance.*
The weather for this first lap is Ordinary, with no special effects or quirks... Yet.
Good to know. With all the niceties out of the way, I do believe that it's time for us to begin. A dozen racers take their lives in their hands, and face the most threatening triangle the world has to offer.
All in...
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GO!!!
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