Post by Beelzebibble on Jan 5, 2008 7:25:49 GMT -5
MRS. LOVETT:
Seems a downright shame…
SWEENEY TODD:
Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste…
Such a nice plump frame
That old Pope has… had… has!…
Nor it can’t be traced.
Business needs a lift,
Debts to be erased…
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift…
No?
Seems an awful waste…
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it…
TODD:
Huh!
LOVETT:
Good, you’ve got it!
Take for instance Lugiasian and her pie shop:
Business never better using only panda bears and toast!
And a panda’s good for maybe six or seven at the most.
And I’m sure they can’t compare as far as taste!
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet appropriate as always!
Mrs. Lovett,
How I’ve lived without you all these years I’ll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
How choice! How rare!
For what’s the sound of the boards out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It’s man devouring man, my dear—
BOTH:
And who are we to deny it in here?
TODD [spoken]:
Ah, these are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett… and desperate measures are called for.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Here we are, now – hot out of the oven!
TODD [spoken]:
What is that?
LOVETT:
It’s Pope.
Have a little Pope.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, I’ll square with you: nope.
That’s to say his posts were all white by his creed,
So they’re hard to read.
TODD:
Plenty of mistakes.
LOVETT:
Yes, my red pen aches.
TODD:
Haven’t you got others? Popes give me the shakes.
LOVETT:
I’ve got a variety ample,
But first, just you sample this dope—
Try the Pope!
TODD [spoken]:
Ugh – hellish! It reeks of sulfur and brimstone! Not to mention how old and brittle it is.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Well, that’s the best of the clergy, I’m afraid. They just get more scandalous from there. Good thing we only get it on Sundays!
TODD:
The history of the boards, my sweet—
LOVETT:
Tell me, Mr. Todd,
What’s the hist’ry of Exie?
TODD:
—is Mafia members providing fresh meat!
LOVETT:
They taste bad themselves,
Though I must say they’re sexy!
TODD:
And here’s the fruit of their last supply:
BOTH:
A Pope ground up and baked into a pie!
LOVETT [spoken]:
Now let’s see here… we’ve got RLRL.
TODD [spoken]:
No, no… I can’t bear the smell.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Pikachu?
TODD [spoken]:
Far too bleak to chew.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Baboon?
TODD [spoken]:
Tastes more like a prune.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Lee?
TODD [spoken]:
Better make it free.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Elliot?
TODD [spoken]:
…Was he even playing?
LOVETT:
Lovely bit of Prime.
TODD:
Maybe for a dime.
LOVETT:
Then again, there’s Vong,
If you like it strong,
And you don’t mind grime!
Maybe some Rasaq,
Though he’ll give you plaque…
TODD:
That one looks like swill.
LOVETT:
Well, it’s Gil,
Off the grill
For a snack!
Or a bit of Spiffy…
Tastes a little iffy.
TODD:
Have you Gary Oak?
LOVETT:
He’ll be out in a jiffy!
Haven’t offered Oak for a stretch; it
Will likely taste wretched, but hope…
Stick to Pope!
TODD:
Have charity toward the boards, my pet—
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, it’s true, my love!
TODD:
We’ll take the Night victims that we can get!
LOVETT:
Day victims too, my love!
TODD:
The Exodus soon will drip with red,
And as for Benedict,
Old Popebenedict—
BOTH:
As for Benedict…
HE’S DEAD!
* * *
THE FOURTH DAY HAS BEGUN!
Votes! Brewer shenanigans! We've got it all right here!
Seems a downright shame…
SWEENEY TODD:
Shame?
LOVETT:
Seems an awful waste…
Such a nice plump frame
That old Pope has… had… has!…
Nor it can’t be traced.
Business needs a lift,
Debts to be erased…
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift…
No?
Seems an awful waste…
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it…
TODD:
Huh!
LOVETT:
Good, you’ve got it!
Take for instance Lugiasian and her pie shop:
Business never better using only panda bears and toast!
And a panda’s good for maybe six or seven at the most.
And I’m sure they can’t compare as far as taste!
TODD:
Mrs. Lovett,
What a charming notion,
Eminently practical and yet appropriate as always!
Mrs. Lovett,
How I’ve lived without you all these years I’ll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!
How choice! How rare!
For what’s the sound of the boards out there?
LOVETT:
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?
TODD:
Those crunching noises pervading the air!
LOVETT:
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!
TODD:
It’s man devouring man, my dear—
BOTH:
And who are we to deny it in here?
TODD [spoken]:
Ah, these are desperate times, Mrs. Lovett… and desperate measures are called for.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Here we are, now – hot out of the oven!
TODD [spoken]:
What is that?
LOVETT:
It’s Pope.
Have a little Pope.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, I’ll square with you: nope.
That’s to say his posts were all white by his creed,
So they’re hard to read.
TODD:
Plenty of mistakes.
LOVETT:
Yes, my red pen aches.
TODD:
Haven’t you got others? Popes give me the shakes.
LOVETT:
I’ve got a variety ample,
But first, just you sample this dope—
Try the Pope!
TODD [spoken]:
Ugh – hellish! It reeks of sulfur and brimstone! Not to mention how old and brittle it is.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Well, that’s the best of the clergy, I’m afraid. They just get more scandalous from there. Good thing we only get it on Sundays!
TODD:
The history of the boards, my sweet—
LOVETT:
Tell me, Mr. Todd,
What’s the hist’ry of Exie?
TODD:
—is Mafia members providing fresh meat!
LOVETT:
They taste bad themselves,
Though I must say they’re sexy!
TODD:
And here’s the fruit of their last supply:
BOTH:
A Pope ground up and baked into a pie!
LOVETT [spoken]:
Now let’s see here… we’ve got RLRL.
TODD [spoken]:
No, no… I can’t bear the smell.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Pikachu?
TODD [spoken]:
Far too bleak to chew.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Baboon?
TODD [spoken]:
Tastes more like a prune.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Lee?
TODD [spoken]:
Better make it free.
LOVETT [spoken]:
Elliot?
TODD [spoken]:
…Was he even playing?
LOVETT:
Lovely bit of Prime.
TODD:
Maybe for a dime.
LOVETT:
Then again, there’s Vong,
If you like it strong,
And you don’t mind grime!
Maybe some Rasaq,
Though he’ll give you plaque…
TODD:
That one looks like swill.
LOVETT:
Well, it’s Gil,
Off the grill
For a snack!
Or a bit of Spiffy…
Tastes a little iffy.
TODD:
Have you Gary Oak?
LOVETT:
He’ll be out in a jiffy!
Haven’t offered Oak for a stretch; it
Will likely taste wretched, but hope…
Stick to Pope!
TODD:
Have charity toward the boards, my pet—
LOVETT:
Yes, yes, it’s true, my love!
TODD:
We’ll take the Night victims that we can get!
LOVETT:
Day victims too, my love!
TODD:
The Exodus soon will drip with red,
And as for Benedict,
Old Popebenedict—
BOTH:
As for Benedict…
HE’S DEAD!
* * *
THE FOURTH DAY HAS BEGUN!
Votes! Brewer shenanigans! We've got it all right here!
(This death brought to you by Vaxx. The lyrics are a tribute to "A Little Priest", from Stephen Sondheim's "Sweeney Todd".)