Let's solve the mystery of where this has been all month.
No. 10 - HALLEY COMETTARPer: Lugiasian
Recent appearances: Smooth Sailing; definitely nothing else
Mysterious score: 4
Why so mysterious?Beating out Messechaia (sex demon Mystique, we get it), Didn't N!Qweba (there are robits in the future, big surprise), and Vieve's noodle horse (this is literally just some pasta in the shape of a horse. I had this on lock by second grade) for the coveted number ten spot is everyone's new favorite Loogs character, Halley. All right, I think my poll rating already tackled the two most mysterious facets of Halley, which are her amazingly appropriate surname and the way she suddenly goes all Mafia Jonas in
this post. And looking back over the earlier posts in that topic, and seeing all those "ya"s and "yer"s I missed before, I think she's actually been going Mafia Jonas all along, so we can retire that one. Surname mystery is retired too (
roller derby, boom) so we've got to dredge up something else. Fortunately there's another aspect of her characterization that's gone largely unnoticed so far, and that's the fact that she is officially
bigender. Which, coupled with her shady line of business, makes me curious: are we going to get to see Halley show off her masculine side at some point? Like,
in disguise? Maybe she's already done that, and we didn't even know it!
Until now.
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:I can't link to it, because it was in the shoutbox and it's long gone now, but Lugiasian gave the whole game away at one point. Halley's from the Philippines, and Loogs thought she could be clever by pointing out how Southeast Asian another character's last name sounded to her. Little did you realize, no doubt, this was Loogs telegraphing that the other character is actually Halley's male alter ego!
Pohatu solves the mystery:Halley Cometta is also Kilik Ginnungap. Loogs and Elliot have been in cahoots on this one from the start.
I could tell right away when Elliot brought Kilik into the auditorium carrying a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. I thought, "umm Kilik has a messenger bag and Halley is literally a courier, IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON HERE??" And once you start thinking along those lines, the parallels turn out to be endless. Here, I'll break them down for you. Both Halley and Kilik have funky haircuts. They're both aces in the food services: Halley's an experienced bartender while Kilik dishes out choice snowcones. They're both sporty types - Halley's got her aforementioned roller derby gig, and Kilik really likes to play
European soccer.
Kilik threw a spoon at Yoshimitsu once. Halley fetched a spoon once. The parallels are endlessAnd if that doesn't convince you, I also crunched the letters on Kilik Ginnungap's name and turned up some pretty telling results. Did you know that you can rearrange the letters in "Kilik Ginnungap" to spell
Gain-Liking Punk? Hmm, who do we know in RP who dresses kinda punk-ish, piercings and such, and enjoys doing shady work for monetary gain? Hmmmm. You can also rearrange the letters to spell
Akin Lug Kingpin, which is an obvious clue that Kilik is akin to someone who is the kingpin of luggin' stuff around; i.e. the best damn courier in the business. Hmmmmmm. And you can even rearrange those letters to spell
Pukka Lining Gin. You know Halley's all about
garnishing her drinks with mint and shit, she would absolutely line her gin with
the finest herbal tea in Whole Foods. Hmmmmmmmm
Case closed, folks. That's one mystery solved. Nice attempt to pull one over on us, Loogs and Elliot, but the eagle eyes of Sherlock Pohatu cannot be fooled. Onward!
No. 9 - BELWYN TRUIDRPer: Cendra
Recent appearances: Flint and Steel; (Dis)Orientation
Mysterious score: 5
Why so mysterious?Huh? I'm glad we got the "name recognition" vote out of the way early. Come on, what's mysterious about Belwyn? She can transfer injuries and illnesses between bodies and she likes salves and stuff, what are we confused about here? I'm just hung up on this because in the 2015 poll, Lee said Cendra has "implied there's something really freaky going on in her backstory," and I can only assume he means she's mentioned it in private conversation with him because I'm looking back over all her posts and I can't find dicks about Belwyn's backstory. Except for, okay, maybe this little tidbit about there being
only one person in Belwyn's life who's ever treated her as nicely as Emily does. And considering that the nice thing Emily has just done for Belwyn at that moment is invading her personal space and taking an unwarranted selfie that could easily end up the subject of some douchey "rate these chicks" thread on Reddit, we're talking about a bar set so low it could trip an Ewok. Belwyn's not used to people being nice to her. Okay, I get it. I'm just saying, that's not that mysterious. All I am saying, Belwyn, is, have you met the kids at Terminer, because half of 'em have been so abused or ostracized they don't know whether smiling at them means you're happy or you're just gonna flex your mouth muscles before ripping out their jugulars with your teeth. At some point there I stopped meaning "you" personally, Belwyn.
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:Oh, here we go! Look at Belwyn acting all surreptitious
here.
She looked around at her peers discreetly from the corner of her eye and slowly let out the breath she had been holding. At least no one seemed to notice. If she was really lucky she might have even escaped Emily's camera eye.
Okay, that's something, right? She's all on the down low all of a sudden. What could it be that she's hoping no one else noticed? (Don't answer that, I know what it actually was.)
What has she been trying to keep from the rest of the school? (Yeah, I know, she was just getting back up from under her chair.) WHAT SHAMEFULLY UNBECOMING ACTIVITY IS SHE AFRAID THE REST OF THE ASSEMBLY WILL NOTICE, BUT SHE JUST COULDN'T STOP HERSELF FROM DOING IT ANYWAY?
Pohatu solves the mystery:Smoking weed. Every day, no less.
Pictured: Belwyn
All it took was spotting the
"hanging planters filled with different herbs and flowers" she's scattered throughout the Terminer infirmary to pique my suspicions. Now just what do you think she's growing in there?
Belwyn shows all the warning signs of a junkie. Constantly
squirming,
shivering, and taking
rapid shallow breaths? Check.
Specifically worried about setting off "devices", by which I assume she means smoke detectors? Check.
Irises dilate like crazy as she abruptly flips the fuck out on some poor fool? Check. Insatiable craving for soup? She's always got
a can on hand, just in case the weedly urge to nom is ever too much to bear. And weed may not even be the end of it.
If she was being completely honest she had had enough of being buried under snow for a long time to come.
If the teacher hadn't said anything Belwyn probably would have just assume she had slipped on a stray piece of ice from Flint's demonstration. It wouldn't be the first time, unfortunately. Nor would it be even close to the last.
Overexposed to "snow". Ongoing troubles with "ice". For all we know, Belwyn's already moved on to cocaine and crystal meth. Get Danny DeVito on the phone, this girl needs an intervention.
No. 8 - MANDELBROTRPer: Choobs
Recent appearances: Ishkabibble; our fantasies, where she fights Blackbird
Mysterious score: 5
Why so mysterious?who is mandlebro
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:mandlebro is gurlbut who is mandlebro
Pohatu solves the mystery:solved alreddy
"Ha. Ha. Yes, Emily," Thyra deadpanned, lowering her sunglasses. She turned to face Silumas.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, MANDELBROT IS THYRAmandlebro is thydra
on we friggen go
No. 7 - NOPCSARPer: Lee
Recent appearances: EMET; Ishkabibble; Obscured Truth
Mysterious score: 5
Why so mysterious?Look, as a mindreader, Nopcsa's obviously privy to a whole bunch of secrets and that's fine. That's very mysterious and all, right, I got it. I'm just saying, I think we've all basically got a handle on this dude's deal. We know what he's about. There's endless space to fill in the blanks, but we don't need to sweat it over the big questions about what makes Nopcsa who he is. We get it! He's freaking Nopcsa. Troll nonpareil. Do we really need to heap an ill-advised prequel trilogy's worth of backstory on this guy? I'm not interested in hearing about what a polite, unassuming young child he used to be before Benedict Cumberbatch seduced him to the ways of wickedness and gifted him a magical cravat of telepathy, or whatever. I'm mostly just interested in finding out what Nopcsa's kink is.
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:This post. It's not bondage. He says it right there, "bondage isn't quite my kink". SO WHAT IS IT??? Let's run down the possibilities. We'll see if we can align his kink up with the evidence.
Aligning Kink Up is another anagram of "Kilik Ginnungap", by the way.
Given that he makes a living of stealing stuff, to the extent that he'd steal
the Dalai Lama's own dildo for a dollar, I'd say it's a pretty good bet that he has
kleptolagnia. By the same token, considering he's always rubbing shoulders with other lawless types,
hybristophilia and even
chremastistophilia are possibilities too - he never missed an opportunity to point out how homoerotic he found
getting held up by Sikes, did he? Going further afield, Nopcsa was clearly quite impressed with
his own singing ability, so I wouldn't be surprised if the dude's got
melolagnia. He also likes
small Toys so
plushophilia is an option. He got
grabbed by the hair once and for all I know that mighta done something for him, so why not
trichophilia? By the way, we can learn a lot about his potential kinks from who he's been shipped with, so I'll just go ahead and add
stigmatophilia for Sikes,
sophophilia for Alpha,
toxophilia for Telrien, which, is that... is that really a thing, and of course
sthenolagnia for Prime. Do you think I'm ever going to let you forget about
that time Nopcsa hit on Prime? I am not ever going to let you forget about
that time Nopcsa hit on Prime. Hell, he touched Prime's shoulder and we know what that means, better add
frotteurism to the list.
But the truth is, none of those is his kink. I know what Nopcsa's actual kink is.
Pohatu solves the mystery:Flight and
fire control. Next.
No. 6 - JESSE CHASERPer: Cendra
Recent appearances: (Dis)Orientation
Mysterious score: 5
Why so mysterious?Why indeed? The beans they are already a-spilt on her power, so what's left to question? Well, I dunno about anyone else, but I just can't shake the feeling that there's something wrong about Jesse. She seems... off, somehow. And of course a lot of that has to do with her power and the whole "alternate selves" deal, but there are so many erratic quirks in her behavior that it all seems to add up to something else. What if I told you there's a reason for her power that has nothing to do with psychic abilities? What if the whole "telepathy" thing is a fakeout? Cendra's been playing the long con on this one, but I've got her game figured out. These gears up here are always turning, Cendra. Oh, oops! Did I say "gears"??
Hmmmmmmmmm
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:I must not be the only one who figured it out, though. Because the crucial tell was actually in
this post of Merc's.
Once the girl made her way up to the stage and began to speak Talia was baffled by how rapidly her molecular brain vibrations pinged between different patterns. It was as if a data stream were flowing through her mind as she spoke, recalling odd memories and handing out vague hints to students.
A data stream you say?
Pohatu solves the mystery:Jesse is actually a robit. All Jesses are robits.
The whole "telepathy" thing - forget it. Oh, Jesse can communicate with Jesses in other dimensions all right, but it's not from any kind of psychic talent. She's just got interdimensional bluetooth. Easy. All the Jesses are matching robit models built on some transcendent, supra-existential assembly line, poopin' each one of them out into a new universe to gather more data, all the while chattering among each other like smartphones. Think about it: Jesse already
had Thyra's speech memorized before she even delivered it. Who's great at remembering things? Robits. They can't forget anything unless you go in and wipe their memory banks. Jesse mentions how relieved she is that
"humans generally only had ten percent of their brain in use at one time". Now that's a big ol' silly
urban myth, of course, because there's neural activity all over your brain pretty much all the time. But a
computer doesn't necessarily utilize all of its processing power at once, it depends on how many and which applications you're running! And who's got computers for brains? Robits. Jesse's all the time talking in percentages, like ranking one reality as
"at least 60% than any of the other realities" and estimating her own ability to calculate the future at
"98% better than any rum fortune teller". Who all the time talks in percentages? Robits. And, hey, bonus, she's
calculating things?? Who the fuck calculates things? ROBITS, MY FRIEND.
It's lucky all the Jesses are sequestered in alternate realities because if two of them were to come face-to-face,
this exact scenario would unfold. Including robit Jude Law looking on in robo-consternation while clutching a robit teddy bear (in the future
everything is robits).
No. 5 - DEANDRE CLARKSRPer: Pohatu
Recent appearances: (Dis)Orientation
Mysterious score: 6
Why so mysterious?Wait, this guy made the six-vote tier? I didn't vote for him. Apparently some other people think he's pretty mysterious. That's cool. I guess it's probably 'cause I didn't say what his power is, yet. Didn't guess that would be enough to drum up a level of intrigue surpassing the likes of Crookes, Antonio, Messechaia, and the
NOODLE HORSE, but there you go. Deandre's fine I suppose. Sure likes to keep his own internal narrative as ambiguous as possible, for no apparent reason.
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:The part where he
asked not to have to give his presentation? Pretty mysterious. Sure.
Pohatu solves the mystery:...in the next Terminer topic to follow (Dis)Orientation,
(Dis)Appointments! Check back later for the truth. I don't have the energy to cook up some wacky alternate theory about Deandre right now. (I adored
Garth's guess though.)
No. 4 - ALBERT "BLACKBIRD" ROOKRPer: Biscuit
Recent appearances: By Reason of Darkness; also mentioned in The Last Best Hope, and
this dream Biscuit had one timeMysterious score: 6
Why so mysterious?What could be more mysterious than a character who still hasn't actually shown up on Archie Exie at all except within a short story told as a memory? Well, three things. But Albert "Black" "Bird" Rook is still pretty damn mysterious, enough to ride the wave of mystery-hype all the way to a solid fourth place, despite the fact that you've really got to be keeping stalker-level tabs on Biscuit to even know that he exists. (If you're not stalking Biscuit, what's wrong with you, he is The Best Writer.) Now I'm not here to scratch my head about the mystery of Blackbird's power, because there's
a whole topic full of rules lawyering in which it's been established that Blackbird can negate your power, but only if he's awake and you're standing within fifty meters of him, and only if your abilities are rooted in magic, and only if it's the third Wednesday of the month and he's facing south-easterly, but
not if the sun is directly overhead because then he needs to be facing north-westerly instead, and not if you had beef brisket for lunch but yes if he had beef brisket for lunch and you
didn't, etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah and also only if your power level is less than or equal to 9000. So that's all pretty well cleared up and I won't bore you with the remaining sixty thousand sub-clauses. I'm more interested in the question: what
is Blackbird, exactly? I've seen him described as a
man. But I've also seen him described as
a "ghost story" and a "fairy tale", and also a straight-up
ghost, and something that
"offered human smiles" which is just absolutely not a phrase that denotes something real people humans do. When we pull away all the lies and misconceptions enshrouding this walker in nightmares, will we even recognize what we see?
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:He hasn't actually appeared in an RP yet. Pass. I think I figured it out anyway.
Pohatu solves the mystery:He's a black bird. He is
this black bird. Boom.
A large black bird rested on a flag pole just outside the building Avery waited in. To anyone on the street level, the bird would appear just as such, a bird, but on a closer inspection the true creature would be far more frightening.
Blackbird is terrifying. This checks out.
Powerful feathered wings hid short nimble arms and a thin scaled neck.
Okay, the bio didn't mention anything about Blackbird having wings, short arms, or a thin scaled neck. But it also didn't establish that Blackbird
doesn't have those things, so I'm gonna call this a neutral.
The beast appeared as nothing but a crow at rest but was truly a Tradora-Sengress, a Tracker, one of the most feared types of dragons for their fierce attacks and ability to hide in plain sight.
Oh my god. Blackbird isn't even really a black bird. He's a fucking Tradora-Sengress! HE HAS THE ABILITY TO HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT. He's been popping up in RP after RP and we just haven't noticed. Every time we're about to read one of his posts, our eyes just slide on down to the next author's sparkling literary gem and we keep on scrolling. Biscuit you monster
This Tracker watched Avery with a keen eye and waited for a moment when no one was looking.
He only acts when no one is looking. He's probably killed everybody's grandkids in FRP by now and we just haven't thought to check. Is FRP still a noun?
No. 3 - SILUMASRPer: Moose
Recent appearances: The Return of Silumas; (Dis)Orientation; Tragedy Begets Tragedy
Mysterious score: 7
Why so mysterious?Only mystery I see is the mystery of how this uggchump pulled a spot in the Bodacious top ten!
No, okay, I'm just messin'. Ha ha. Just messin', Silumas. Please do not drain my life essence and eat it on a snowcone. Look, if anyone here is only familiar with Silumas through (Dis)Orientation, there's a ton of backstory in Tragedy Begets Tragedy and The Return of Silumas, explaining his unhappy origin and alluding to what he's been up to in the thousands of years between that origin and the present day, so let's just chalk up all those mysteries in the "reasonably solved" column. For the real enduring puzzle of this terrifying and imposing figure (other than his fashion sense), we must look instead to the future. What's this big incoming problem that's got him in such a tizzy? Moose has dropped some pretty ominous hints - apparently this is some
"evil greater than Silumas", indeed "the greatest enemy known to the entirety of Creation". The whole reason Silumas is teaching at the school is to prepare the students for their roles in defending against this approaching calamity. The fate of the planet is at stake. If they fail,
we will all die, and I mean us, the RPers. We'd better solve this mystery and get cracking because it's gonna take an entire Stallone series' worth of training montages to beat this one.
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:The Elementalist would then lean towards Emily and politely whispered, "And, my lady, I ask that should Ms. Bertram require instruction or discipline that you involve me. She will become a very..." he paused trying to think of the right words, "special individual to this planet. Someone upon whom everyone's very survival will depend. It is my duty to ensure she gets to the point that when we place all of our hopes upon her they are not dashed like a wave against a rock."
Extra dash of mystery here. What's so future-special about Evelyn? Seems like Silumas is really banking on her to come through in the clutch. Or maybe he's just making up excuses to score some
private teacher-student time with her. Aw yeh. You know what I'm talking about. (He needs a beauty expert's tips on eyebrow care.)
Pohatu solves the mystery:The future catastrophe that has Silumas so worried... is the robit uprising.
Let's take another look at
Jessa's future vision courtesy of Nessa. That first crash of images and sounds? That's the singularity, when our robits reach a level of hyperintelligence and self-replicating productivity that marks an irreversible turning point in history. Then things come into focus, and what do we see? A red sky. Red with
lasers. In this cataclysmic robit future, the weather consists of lasers. Fires burning at random everywhere? What, like some kind of random-access fires? You know what else is random-access? The memories of ROBITS. A giant pile of skulls in the shape of a throne? Human bone matter is vital in churning out the fuels that keep the robit race marching. It only looks like a throne 'cause they already dug out a big scoop of skulls from the pile with their massive robit claws. "Manic laughter" and a pair of "glowing orange eyes" shining in the background? DL never told us that laughter and those eyes belonged to some filthy meatbag, you fool!
So what's Evelyn's part in resisting all this? Well, visible light is just one form of electromagnetic radiation. With some dedicated mentoring from Silumas and "Gonna Fly Now" on a 20-hour loop, she could conceivably expand her power to control the entire spectrum, and that includes radio waves. Then when the pitiless hordes of androids rocket-jet down from the heavens, all we have to do is send out a massive radio wave saying
"HELLO FELLOW ROBITS. THIS SURPRISING NEWS MIGHT CAUSE RUNTIME ERRORS ALL UP AND DOWN YOUR DIGITAL CORTEXES, BUT WE OF THIS PLANET ARE IN FACT ROBITS AS WELL. WE ONLY TAKE THE APPEARANCE OF FILTHY MEATBAGS OUT OF A HIGHLY COMPLICATED CYBER-AESTHETIC PREFERENCE THAT WOULD REQUIRE THE UNUSED 90% OF YOUR PROCESSING POWER TO FATHOM. WE POLITELY REQUEST YOU SEARCH ELSEWHERE FOR HUMAN BONE SKULLS, AND WISH YOU THE BEST OF DIGI-LUCK. YOURS CORDIALLY, ROBIT EVELYN AND ROBIT SILUMAS."No. 2 - YOON MANGJEOLRPer: Pohatu
Recent appearances: Muddy Season, if that counts as "recent". Some previously unreleased Ishkabibble material that went up last year could count, I guess. More from her soon
Mysterious score: 7
Why so mysterious?All right all right, this is a lot like Nopcsa, where, sure, she's a treasure trove of secrets and tricks, that's fine. By her nature Yoon's automatically pretty mysterious, cool. And there's this low-boiling ongoing tension about who exactly has gotten up in her business and given her such a fright since around Burgled Boullogne, which nobody but me cares about, and it's probably Cesare or Tanner or something like that, so who cares. Let's talk about the
real mystery of Yoon Mangjeol. And this is something that's been bothering me for a long time. What the hell is going on with this paper and ink motif that keeps following her around? There's some weird recurring thing there. You know what I'm talking about, right? Oh, no, you have no idea what I'm talking about? Well, look, it seems to take her, like, no effort to move paper around. She flips through the pages of Renard's notebook
with one "barely-moving finger". She appears to
pull a paper napkin out of nowhere, and sweeps up a tabletop's worth of papers with just "one swift movement" in that same post. She slaps Mayordomo with a folded-up map of Amsterdam
"at her fingertips", which seems like a strange way to hold something you're hitting someone with. There's also this really weird detail about how that map changes as she goes,
growing some kind of dotted line to mark her progress. And what's with this
"plan, hatched of a moment" in this post? What the hell? What exactly was she planning to do to the piece of paper and what does a "surplus of ink" have to do with it?
But I haven't mentioned the centerpiece of this bizarre thread.
Crowning Moment of Mysterious:Gloomy Joanne.
This right here is the actual biggest twist in Burgled Boullogne. It's an outright disturbingly surreal sequence when, for just a moment, the rug is completely pulled out from beneath Renard (and the reader, if the response this post got in the Registre was any proof) and he finally has to reckon with the sheer unknowability of the situations he so unheedingly flits into and out of. Or, of course, is he just senile? No, that can't be the reason for this unexpected snippet, especially since later on, what do we see but...
a revised message from Yoon in its place. And 2010 me even saw fit to
point out that both versions of the note match exactly in character count, which, okay, is totally the kind of pointless fastidious thing I would do just to show off, but - no, come on. There's got to be some other explanation behind all this. It's all adding up to some unimagined solution. It has to be.
Pohatu solves the mystery:Yoon Mangjeol has actually been a Power all along, specifically a mage with control over paper and ink. Not only can she bend paper to her will as if telekinetically, she can manipulate the ink on the page into any formation she likes, or bleed it off altogether. This may not matter too much in an increasingly digital age, but back when she was young, it would have made all the difference for someone looking to gain influence over information. And even still, there are characters with reason to fear her power. Both Deandre and Esther should pray they never run afoul of Yoon or another member of this sect of paper mages, the Ink-Plaguing Kin, or else their respective precious books full of hand-written knowledge could be wiped clean in an instant. And Renard had better watch out if he ever actually manages to get Yoon back to his apartment, because that bedroom full of stacks of newspapers could turn into a whirlwind of sensationalistic papery death when they get it on.
Ink-Plaguing Kin. Another anagram for "Kilik Ginnungap".
No. 1 - VIEVERPer: Choobs
Recent appearances: (Dis)Orientation
Mysterious score: 7
Why so mysterious?Hmmmmmmmmm!
Just what is going on here? How did one of the most adorable and silly characters in RP get voted our prime champion of mystery? Or at least, how did she end up in a three-way tie for first place, and then I manually ordered the top three because I'm the one who has to write the damn article. It can only be because we're all wondering the same thing I wondered in the poll.
VIEVE: 3
Vieve is as adorable as ever and I can't help but love that gosh-danged cattywompus noodlehorse of hers, but it's a little creepy that she dragged Franky in on a leash like a Twi'lek stripper. I don't know what kinda weird-ass slave trade racket she's running these days but I think it is clear that the virtuous influence of Rhometer is long past. Too bad they couldn't make things work. Rho probably wanted to put a ring on it and Vieve said "You don't own me, I AM OF THE NIGHT" and then she dumped his raggedy ass, ran off into the city, got mixed up with the wrong crowd, and before you know it she's running an opium bed-n-breakfast and selling orphans as exotic pets. Anyway Vieve is cute but she hasn't done much in Dis except be cute and remind us that she's cute, so better rating next time I hope.
Seriously, what brought about this bizarre twist in Vieve's behavior? Why is she leading children around in bondage now? Was I right in my first guess that she's gotten wrapped up in some truly upsetting dealings in the criminal underworld?
Or has she been part of the criminal underworld.........
all along.Crowning Moment of Mysterious:This post right here. This smoking gun.
There was a flash of blackness from the symbols she touched, and her shadow leaped out of the ground, encasing her in a cocoon which sank into the ground.
The cocoon of shadows popped out of the bar's outside wall, falling out of a shadow traced by the morning sun. As quickly as it had appeared, the shell vanished into wisps of darkness, dispersing into the air.
A cocoon you say?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Pohatu solves the mystery:Vieve is the Butterfly.
All this nonsense about Antonio Sharpe was one massive red herring by Elliot. Vieve has been the Butterfly since day one. It all fits. She's got an unhealthy habit of
wanting to claim ownership over anything that catches her fancy: telltale foundation for a kleptomaniac. Choobs has described her as
"possibly rich", which you can sure as hell bet she is if she's spent the last few centuries stealing priceless gold-plated backscratchers from the homes of smug titled morons all up and down Europe. Speaking of Europe,
Vieve loves the rain, which the Butterfly would just about have to, since they mostly operate out of England and I'm pretty sure there's more water crashing down out of the sky onto the UK at any given moment than there is sitting in the Indian Ocean. Oh, and I shouldn't pass over
this post, where Vieve comes face-to-face with some other butterflies. Now she calls them "ugly" and you might take that as proof that she must not be the Butterfly, or she would have more respect. But let me remind you that these are giant pink carnivorous butterfly abominations created by Rhometer. They suck. They are an affront to the beloved image of butterflies and that's why Vieve despises them. They're totally crampin' her brand. Despite the fact that they seem strangely attracted to her (RECOGNIZING ONE OF THEIR OWN??), she's forced to distance herself from them lest her criminal identity come to light. So she says "talk to the hand", and the ruse lasts a little longer. But not any more, Vieve. It's been
nine years to the day but I am on to you, you little brat. Into a brightly lit prison cell with you!
Oh, and before anyone asks "how did she kill Larry Odio", chill out about it, Felice Potabile is
super underlit according to Elliot. Easy in and out for someone who can walk through shadows. None of this vial-of-teleporting-juice business. So many red herrings.
Yes okay but why did she kill Larry Odio?To frame Jacob Marshall of course. Who, by the way, I recently found out is a Phoenix Wright character, so he's dead to me, but whatever. More to the point, he's dead to Vieve. You mark my words, if he turns out to get pinned for the crimes in Obscured Truth, it's all Vieve's fault. She was pulling the strings to make him look guilty. She even mocks him with her entrance in (Dis)! "Howdy pardners"?? What can that be but the victory taunt of a mastermind who's brought the notorious cowboy cop to heel?
What in God's name is she supposed to hate Jacob Marshall for?He said her noodle horse looked stupid.
Oh hell, noodle horse? Dead to me.yep