Post by Testbug on Mar 2, 2011 21:34:39 GMT -5
Hi guys what's up my name is Testbug and I'm working on a stoooooooooooooory.
And I'm like four chapters in. But at this point I'm starting to show other nations and terrain and stuff and while that's all fantastic and stuff I'm having a problem!
This problem, of course, is the knowledge that while every idea of mine will always and forever be flawless and perfect in every way, shape, and form, they can always be even more perfect.
This idea has been circulating in my brain for a long time! It's been changing and shifting as my life does and as I include things that seem cool to me at the time. Regardless of all that, though, I have the basic layout for this world and its peoples, and what I really want help with is your guys' opinion! If you guys think that really my ideas are totally solid and everything, then that's awesome. If not, however, then I understand that as well!
Anyway, on to the story stuff.
The world's magic and history:
When Ouranos was created, hundreds of billions of years ago, no one populated it. The flowing, shifting surface of the planet did nothing but create a hazardous, unsafe atmosphere where nothing could live. The planet's lava eventually cooled, and congealed into rock. The rock rose to the surface, and water filled the planet's cracks and crevices, until only one landmass remained. This would come to be known as Allea.
Eventually, the planet became populated with creatures of all kinds. Fish to fill the seas, birds to rule the skies, reptiles to survive the heat, dragons to balance the land and sky, and man to unify the planet in all its parts.
Along with the creation of life, came the creation of magic. The first and most dominant magic of all was the magic of Mother Oura, which became the foundational force for the peoples of the land of Tarra. Tarra was the most eastern continent of the separated Allea, and was ruled by a Theocracy. The church of Mother Oura came to dominate the peoples of Tarra. It ruled Government, Punishment, Science, and even the Armed Forces that protected the peoples of Tarra.
Those who lived in Tarra harnessed the power of Mother Oura by channeling Her mighty strength through their bodies. Everyone born under the rule of great Tarra was born with magic of Mother Oura. Their magic was that of the planet, and they called themselves Geomancers. They could manipulate and use the environment around them, including the ground, the plants, the water, the air, and everything else around their natural environment. Most Tarrans can use rock and ground-based geomancing most effectively, but those that live near the ocean are the best water Tarrans alive.
The next magic was born from the core of people themselves. All humans were born with magic inside of them, and these people of the northern continent learned to harness and control that magic. These people were known as the Arvan people, of Arva. This magic became the foundation of their culture and government in little time. Rulers of Arva had to be gifted in magic, and the military had to be expert magic users. Those who operated in Arvan culture respected the magic in every living being, and used their own magic to do even the most basic of tasks.
Those born into the Arvan magic are born with tattoos across their body. Some have more than others, but everyone has at least a few tattoos. These tattoos channel out the magic from inside the Arvan peoples' bodies, forming different spells based on their manipulation. Instead of channeling power through their tattoos, some Arvans channel their power to their tattoos, giving them solid mass that hovers above their bodies. These tattoos can be incredibly strong, and have been reported to cut through diamond when honed properly. Either magic is a possibility for any living Arvan.
Every Arvan has a limit on their own magic, however. When this runs out, Arvans draw magic from those who've long since been dead. By pulling magical energies straight from the Otherside, as they call it, they can channel even more power through themselves and out into battle.
The western clan, which dominates the largest portion of the now separated planet, is that of the Dragon Clan. They are a race of humans that found their magics outside of themselves. Members of the Dragon Clan themselves contain little magical energy whatsoever, but their source of power comes from Dragons. The humans of the Dragon Clan have befriended the Draconic race over thousands of years of a symbiotic relationship, resulting in the current-day bonding of Dragons and humans. Dragons themselves have always been a wellspring of magical energy, but they've never been able to completely access this magic. By bonding to a human, Dragons can access their full potentials, channeling their magic through a human. The humans can access and easily use magic, but lack the necessary magic to do so. A Dragon possesses just the opposite; boundless magic with no control. Some Dragons mature magic immediately, while others take time. Dragons themselves have developed a new biological clock to match that of humans. Birth, growth, and death all occur within a very close time frame to that of humans, and for every human that is born, a dragon is born as well. Every human is given a dragon partner at birth, and grow up with the dragon as their closest friends. Some humans would rather die than face a world without their dragon partners.
Outside of Allea, little is documented. Ships have been constructed, but most, if not all, have been lost at sea and found little to nothing.
For the record, the name Allea was conceived far before Aileta was a thing.
Just saying.
ANYWAY, the basic premise of the lay of the land is down in this spoiler tag.
Awesome that's out of the way super-great.
Basically what I want feedback on is:
Thanks for reading and if you post, thanks for posting.
It's super-awesome-great of you guys to post here. Seriously, all the cool kids are doing it.
All of them.
And I'm like four chapters in. But at this point I'm starting to show other nations and terrain and stuff and while that's all fantastic and stuff I'm having a problem!
This problem, of course, is the knowledge that while every idea of mine will always and forever be flawless and perfect in every way, shape, and form, they can always be even more perfect.
This idea has been circulating in my brain for a long time! It's been changing and shifting as my life does and as I include things that seem cool to me at the time. Regardless of all that, though, I have the basic layout for this world and its peoples, and what I really want help with is your guys' opinion! If you guys think that really my ideas are totally solid and everything, then that's awesome. If not, however, then I understand that as well!
Anyway, on to the story stuff.
The world's magic and history:
When Ouranos was created, hundreds of billions of years ago, no one populated it. The flowing, shifting surface of the planet did nothing but create a hazardous, unsafe atmosphere where nothing could live. The planet's lava eventually cooled, and congealed into rock. The rock rose to the surface, and water filled the planet's cracks and crevices, until only one landmass remained. This would come to be known as Allea.
Eventually, the planet became populated with creatures of all kinds. Fish to fill the seas, birds to rule the skies, reptiles to survive the heat, dragons to balance the land and sky, and man to unify the planet in all its parts.
Along with the creation of life, came the creation of magic. The first and most dominant magic of all was the magic of Mother Oura, which became the foundational force for the peoples of the land of Tarra. Tarra was the most eastern continent of the separated Allea, and was ruled by a Theocracy. The church of Mother Oura came to dominate the peoples of Tarra. It ruled Government, Punishment, Science, and even the Armed Forces that protected the peoples of Tarra.
Those who lived in Tarra harnessed the power of Mother Oura by channeling Her mighty strength through their bodies. Everyone born under the rule of great Tarra was born with magic of Mother Oura. Their magic was that of the planet, and they called themselves Geomancers. They could manipulate and use the environment around them, including the ground, the plants, the water, the air, and everything else around their natural environment. Most Tarrans can use rock and ground-based geomancing most effectively, but those that live near the ocean are the best water Tarrans alive.
The next magic was born from the core of people themselves. All humans were born with magic inside of them, and these people of the northern continent learned to harness and control that magic. These people were known as the Arvan people, of Arva. This magic became the foundation of their culture and government in little time. Rulers of Arva had to be gifted in magic, and the military had to be expert magic users. Those who operated in Arvan culture respected the magic in every living being, and used their own magic to do even the most basic of tasks.
Those born into the Arvan magic are born with tattoos across their body. Some have more than others, but everyone has at least a few tattoos. These tattoos channel out the magic from inside the Arvan peoples' bodies, forming different spells based on their manipulation. Instead of channeling power through their tattoos, some Arvans channel their power to their tattoos, giving them solid mass that hovers above their bodies. These tattoos can be incredibly strong, and have been reported to cut through diamond when honed properly. Either magic is a possibility for any living Arvan.
Every Arvan has a limit on their own magic, however. When this runs out, Arvans draw magic from those who've long since been dead. By pulling magical energies straight from the Otherside, as they call it, they can channel even more power through themselves and out into battle.
The western clan, which dominates the largest portion of the now separated planet, is that of the Dragon Clan. They are a race of humans that found their magics outside of themselves. Members of the Dragon Clan themselves contain little magical energy whatsoever, but their source of power comes from Dragons. The humans of the Dragon Clan have befriended the Draconic race over thousands of years of a symbiotic relationship, resulting in the current-day bonding of Dragons and humans. Dragons themselves have always been a wellspring of magical energy, but they've never been able to completely access this magic. By bonding to a human, Dragons can access their full potentials, channeling their magic through a human. The humans can access and easily use magic, but lack the necessary magic to do so. A Dragon possesses just the opposite; boundless magic with no control. Some Dragons mature magic immediately, while others take time. Dragons themselves have developed a new biological clock to match that of humans. Birth, growth, and death all occur within a very close time frame to that of humans, and for every human that is born, a dragon is born as well. Every human is given a dragon partner at birth, and grow up with the dragon as their closest friends. Some humans would rather die than face a world without their dragon partners.
Outside of Allea, little is documented. Ships have been constructed, but most, if not all, have been lost at sea and found little to nothing.
For the record, the name Allea was conceived far before Aileta was a thing.
Just saying.
ANYWAY, the basic premise of the lay of the land is down in this spoiler tag.
The Tarran nation is located mostly on the east coast, which is full of hard-packed earth with growing plants and has a huge shoreline, scattered with small fishing towns. The capital is built on top of a place pouring out with the powers of Mother Oura, their nation's patron goddess. This energy does not result in large amounts of plant growth or anything, just really healthy ones. The earth is also extremely fertile, and it's incredibly easy to geomance near the capital. Which is awesome. The buildings they have are built by moving large sections of rock and dirt to make secure buildings that can be re-modeled by geomancers who specialize in architecture. Class system in their society is based on heritage. Money, of course, but a lot of the weight is based on heritage. Money can buy you up in ranks, though. In a very Nazi-like sense, they believe in purity to keep their royal classes royal. This results in a lot of in-breeding to get perfect blond haired, blue-eyed little Tarran super-people. Royalty also happens to be quite short compared to commoners. Their land ends in a rather jagged border surrounding the edge of a huge, expansive forest called the Arbis Neutralis. Get used to hearing the name of that forest.
The Arvan nation is built up on the river-veined northern part of the continent. Their rivers empty out into lakes and things within the Arbis Neutralis. Their cities are built up above the rivers, with large aquaducts curving and winding through their cities with the rivers. The strange thing about the rivers flowing out of and into the Arbis Neutralis, is that they have huge amounts of sand at the bottom, which are silicate-rich. This makes glass really cheap and easy for Arvans to build and mold. They've also figured out a way for the glass to become as strong as metal during the melting process, involving the carving of runes into the molds and using magics to support and structurally secure the glass. This means that their aquaducts are made of glass and have artistic bubbles and curves which are covered with water that carries sparkling bits of rock through them. It is potentially the prettiest thing I can imagine. Including the falls built into the aquaducts that have similar artistic bubbles, and the ones surrounding the capital building have their gods carved into the sides of the falls. Their land ends at the Arbis Neutrallis to the south and west, and at the vast desert to the west. It's considered an extension of the Arbis Neutralis, and called the Des Neutralis.
The Dragon Clan land is mostly positioned on one mountain. Surrounding the mountain is a desert, which they named the Des Neutralis. The Des Neutralis is populated with Tremors-esque sand worms that will kill you by trapping you. A very specific off-shoot of Dragon Clan people live in this desert, and are taken by an off-shoot breed of worms to their base of operations, which is placed beneath the sands, in hollowed-out caverns filled with crystal deposits. On the real Dragon Clan mountain, the flora their is scarce to none. They mostly survive on the nutrient-rich creatures that live in the caves, which are filled with plants in the far back. The problem is that caves which lose their plants lose their creatures, so Dragon Clan people ration the food in their community by not killing everything, but just enough to get by. Their people are encouraged to hunt for themselves. Dragon Clan people have royalty exclusively based on descendency. Born from a farmer? Raised a farmer. Born from the last emperor. Guess what skippy, you lucked out now lead our country bitch. Their land ends, guess where, at the Arbis/Des Neutralis and at the Arvan border. (It's a quite disputed area.)
The Arbis Neutralis itself is the Ouran equivalent of the Amazon, and is filled with deadly animals and harsh environments. For most people. A destined few (They're not at all special other than that they could walk into the Arbis Neutralis without dying quickly. Some people live their whole lives not even knowing they're special. Yes, the main character is one of the destined few.) can enter the forest without dying, and an even smaller number of them have built small communities within the Arbis Neutralis. Dragon Clan members live there, Arvans as well, and Tarrans. Arvans are most common, because they don't really use the death penalty (legal reasons), but sending someone down their rivers on a cheap raft is completely okay. Dragon Clan people are second-most common, and Tarrans are the least common. (Tarrans believe in, and frequently exercise, executions.)
The Arvan nation is built up on the river-veined northern part of the continent. Their rivers empty out into lakes and things within the Arbis Neutralis. Their cities are built up above the rivers, with large aquaducts curving and winding through their cities with the rivers. The strange thing about the rivers flowing out of and into the Arbis Neutralis, is that they have huge amounts of sand at the bottom, which are silicate-rich. This makes glass really cheap and easy for Arvans to build and mold. They've also figured out a way for the glass to become as strong as metal during the melting process, involving the carving of runes into the molds and using magics to support and structurally secure the glass. This means that their aquaducts are made of glass and have artistic bubbles and curves which are covered with water that carries sparkling bits of rock through them. It is potentially the prettiest thing I can imagine. Including the falls built into the aquaducts that have similar artistic bubbles, and the ones surrounding the capital building have their gods carved into the sides of the falls. Their land ends at the Arbis Neutrallis to the south and west, and at the vast desert to the west. It's considered an extension of the Arbis Neutralis, and called the Des Neutralis.
The Dragon Clan land is mostly positioned on one mountain. Surrounding the mountain is a desert, which they named the Des Neutralis. The Des Neutralis is populated with Tremors-esque sand worms that will kill you by trapping you. A very specific off-shoot of Dragon Clan people live in this desert, and are taken by an off-shoot breed of worms to their base of operations, which is placed beneath the sands, in hollowed-out caverns filled with crystal deposits. On the real Dragon Clan mountain, the flora their is scarce to none. They mostly survive on the nutrient-rich creatures that live in the caves, which are filled with plants in the far back. The problem is that caves which lose their plants lose their creatures, so Dragon Clan people ration the food in their community by not killing everything, but just enough to get by. Their people are encouraged to hunt for themselves. Dragon Clan people have royalty exclusively based on descendency. Born from a farmer? Raised a farmer. Born from the last emperor. Guess what skippy, you lucked out now lead our country bitch. Their land ends, guess where, at the Arbis/Des Neutralis and at the Arvan border. (It's a quite disputed area.)
The Arbis Neutralis itself is the Ouran equivalent of the Amazon, and is filled with deadly animals and harsh environments. For most people. A destined few (They're not at all special other than that they could walk into the Arbis Neutralis without dying quickly. Some people live their whole lives not even knowing they're special. Yes, the main character is one of the destined few.) can enter the forest without dying, and an even smaller number of them have built small communities within the Arbis Neutralis. Dragon Clan members live there, Arvans as well, and Tarrans. Arvans are most common, because they don't really use the death penalty (legal reasons), but sending someone down their rivers on a cheap raft is completely okay. Dragon Clan people are second-most common, and Tarrans are the least common. (Tarrans believe in, and frequently exercise, executions.)
Awesome that's out of the way super-great.
Basically what I want feedback on is:
- Dragon Clan people? What should I call them?
- Arbis Neutralis and Des Neutralis! Name suggestions would rock, and feedback on their environment and stuff would be sweet.
- Do the Arvan people's lands sound good? I want them to sound beautiful.
- Suggestions for Dragon Clan settlements. How would they be built? What should the buildings look like? I think they should be oriental! What do you think?
- Aaaaanything else you want to throw in!
Thanks for reading and if you post, thanks for posting.
It's super-awesome-great of you guys to post here. Seriously, all the cool kids are doing it.
All of them.