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Post by ch00beh on Nov 12, 2010 20:48:55 GMT -5
you have to be a douche at one point in your life.
it is a rite of passage.
i am drunk, too, atm.
it took me 3 tries to type 'atm'
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Post by Kuroboom on Nov 12, 2010 21:59:41 GMT -5
I just wonder what would happen if I would go down this road for once.
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Prime
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Post by Prime on Nov 12, 2010 22:10:12 GMT -5
On the other hand, its one hell of an awesome view innit?
And Erick has a point, your opinion about it is shitty if you find out. If you dont find out, well, then it doesn't matter. And if you want to convince the nice guy not to be a douche, you need to convince the female population to stop going for 'confident douchebags." Bottom line is, it isn't going to happen.
Any yes, maybe leaving someone for someone else is a shitty pattern until you stop. But no one is going to be exactly like anyone else, and there's neither a guarentee that she'll leave him for someone else, or a guarentee that she won't.
In any event, my point is not trying sucks a lot worse than failing. At least if you try and fail, you learn things. Doing nothing is basically refusing to live in a way which you yourself have already decided worthwhile.
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Post by ch00beh on Nov 12, 2010 22:27:32 GMT -5
still going to say that 'confident douchebags' are actually just 'confident guys' that 'nice guys' hate and thus attribute to them the monicker of 'douchebag' to make themselves feel better.
alternatively, don't blame the girls and tell the 'nice guys' to be more confident.
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Post by Kuroboom on Nov 12, 2010 22:29:03 GMT -5
But ch00bs, it's never MY fault!
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Post by ch00beh on Nov 12, 2010 22:35:16 GMT -5
but kuro, you are a beautiful girl who would never fall for a douchebag
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SV
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Post by SV on Nov 13, 2010 6:51:19 GMT -5
Thanks a lot for the input guys. I think this topic really needed a boob creature girl's opinion. I have. Wow. In all my many years, I have never been referred to as a boob creature. I feel like I should be offended, but mostly I just giggle every time I read it. GJ, man. GJ indeed. I think you both bring up good points, really. The reason why I think Prime's approach might be a good idea, is self-delusion because I don't really plan on going at it like a psychodouche-madman. I'm not going to beat her up with the idea that his current boyfriend is shit, and convince her that I'm a better option, and remind her every second about it. If I'd go down that road, I would be extremely clever and subtle about it, making her ask herself those questions, without the slightest hint of her ever realizing it they all came from me. Which is why she wouldn't lose any respect for me. I'm sure Prime most people who try to use this tactic oh god you mean there are more primes out there please lord save our souls probably are like, "Goddamn I'm one smooth operator. She'll never know what's up." Wrong. Incorrect. Logically unsound. Other synonyms for "This is going to blow up in my face so hard." I just... I just wonder what would happen if I would go down this road for once. Ugh, I'm being really selfish, aren't I? At this rate it's going to be me who ends up being the douche. ._. If you really have such a knee-jerk guilty reaction to manipulating people, then I'm willing to bet that if you do do it, you're just going to feel really bad about having done it. Like I said earlier, I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. But... And if you want to convince the nice guy not to be a douche, you need to convince the female population to stop going for 'confident douchebags." Bottom line is, it isn't going to happen. Hokay, let me explain you somethin'. Girls don't like douches. Really, we don't! The reason that we seem to go for douches so often is this, my chum: Confidence. Nice guys so often come with low self-esteem. Probably from being so nice. Anyway, when we see a douche, we don't see what a douche that douche is. We see "Oh man, look at that guy. He's so confident and outgoing! I bet he's a cool dude with a great personality and isn't a douchebag at all, not in the least." (I'm paraphrasing, but this is pretty close to how it goes down.) ... Hokay, let me explain you somethin'. Girls don't like douches. Really, we don't! The reason that we seem to go for douches so often is this, my chum: Confidence. Nice guys so often come with low self-esteem. Probably from being so nice. Anyway, when we see a douche, we don't see what a douche that douche is. We see "Oh man, look at that guy. He's so confident and outgoing! I bet he's a cool dude with a great personality and isn't a douchebag at all, not in the least." (I'm paraphrasing, but this is pretty close to how it goes down.) ... Hokay, let me explain you somethin'. Girls don't like douches. Anyway, when we see a douche, we don't see what a douche that douche is. We see "Oh man, look at that guy. He's so confident and outgoing! I bet he's a cool dude with a great personality and isn't a douchebag at all, not in the least." ...! D:< still going to say that 'confident douchebags' are actually just 'confident guys' that 'nice guys' hate and thus attribute to them the monicker of 'douchebag' to make themselves feel better. alternatively, don't blame the girls and tell the 'nice guys' to be more confident. Thank you, choobs. (Guh.) Anyway, in the end, Bub@, you're going to do what you're going to do and nothing we say is going to make a difference. (This sounds really dismissive/bitchy -- it isn't! I promise! Really, if you made your decisions based solely off what a bunch of people on an internet said to do, it would worry me.) I seek only to be the angel/devil/etc. on your shoulder. Whatever happens, good luck to you. As a parting statement,
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Post by ch00beh on Nov 13, 2010 7:07:31 GMT -5
I should make a suggestion box for people to suggest things for me to do IRL.
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Prime
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Post by Prime on Nov 13, 2010 9:50:26 GMT -5
I am a long term operator, not a smooth manipulative instant fuckme operator. My way sucks, I need more self confidence, sadly the desire to walk that path makes me more of an asshole towards women. If you are a nice guy, they don't look past your confidence issues and see the real person, this dismiss you. Straight dismiss you. Won't even give you a chance. This knowledge, sadly, comes from experience.
This has created an amount of, er, disgust? Contempt more like. If you try to support them through a douche and show them you're there, you get friend zoned. The fact that women know we do this doesn't make any difference ultimately.
This is hit and miss. There are to many things to consider, pickup artists make careers studying it for christs sake. Find me the logic behind dating, please. Feels more like an application of chaos theory. Eventually you just snap and...show her your wang. Lmao. So yeah, keep your distance, develope your confidence around her, try to help her develope a different more positive opinion about you. You can't make someone love you, its either there or its not, all you can do is do your best to provide and style the option in the best light.
I won't actually condone dagger work, because it is absolutely a shitty thing to do. But on the other hand, no matter what people say to believe, nine times out of ten, they'd do it to you if they could see the advantage for them. Its easy to view it objectively when you aren't actually emotionally invested, which is demonstrated by Saphs leaving for another example. Its easy to view it objectively viewing it now.
Cheers. As for dagger work... Well, if they aren't happy and he really is a prick, dagger away. If it helps them, even if they don't get with you, well... Virtuous actions are awesome.
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Post by Tout-Perd on Nov 13, 2010 16:30:03 GMT -5
Y'see, I think confidence is in and of itself typically is a douchebagish trait. Or at least, the typical confident guy (maybe we're having trouble with the fact that typically for somebody to be considered confident by others, they really need to be overconfident?). It has in itself a certain degree of self-centeredness attached to it, IMO.
Now, on the other hand, being outgoing. That is something a guy should be. He should be willing to put himself out there, make jokes, be a leader, be a friend. Confidence and lack thereof should not be what's considered. A real man is consistantly approachable, has a realistic but not inflated assessment of his capabilities, and will let his actions and charm speak for themselves without playing himself up.
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Post by Ninety on Nov 13, 2010 16:34:13 GMT -5
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Post by Bub@ on Nov 16, 2010 22:34:12 GMT -5
@choobs: Maybe I do have to be a douche, at least once. Then again, you're drunk. @kuro: Dammit Kuro, don't Fallout me. @prime, SV, choobs: I don't see leaving someone for someone else as something so bad. It goes back to the "if she loves him, she won't leave him". She/he is happy with him, it won't happen, so If she's not, then there has to be a freaking big problem to begin with. I've tried. I haven't tried. I've always regretted every single time I haven't, and I don't want that to happen again, as failure at trying is so much better than regret at not trying. I would hate myself knowing I never did anything... again. @sv: I'm bipolar. So, in a way, I'll probably only feel guilty half of the time (I'm not trying to be funny, I'm actually serious about this). I know that it's now me who will end up sounding like a huge arrogant ass, but I know that I can do it without her ever finding out. Don't know if it will work 100%, but there's a huge chance it might. But I... I don't think I can be with her knowing I made that decision. It's really the one thing that worries me. @prime: "Not getting Friend Zoned". You keep bringing it up, and I truly really know, it's the one place I should try not ending up in. @lee and Everyone: I could've seen his boyfriend and just said "fuck it, that guy's a douche". But I didn't. Lee brings up a very very good point, which I didn't touch until now because I didn't know how to say it. Confidence, to an extent, is a very douchebaggy trait, IMO. And I have to disagree with choobs and SV, that a lot of guys girls end up dating, turn out to be real douchebags but they don't realize until after they break up. I've seen it happen, I'm not saying it always happens, and it probably doesn't happen as often as what you're saying, but I just needed to mention that. Either way, I'm so awesome that I shouldn't even worry about this. She'll probably come rushing to my arms the moment I get to show her that. Thanks a lot for the input guys. I think this topic really needed a boob creature girl's opinion. I have. Wow. In all my many years, I have never been referred to as a boob creature. I feel like I should be offended, but mostly I just giggle every time I read it. GJ, man. GJ indeed. It's what we call 'em in Mexico. La creatura de los pechos! [this is in no way fact]
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Prime
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Post by Prime on Nov 17, 2010 1:22:22 GMT -5
That should be a fact, that is an awesome fact.
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Post by V101 on Nov 21, 2010 22:15:23 GMT -5
Girls aren't some like mysterious beings that operate all in exactly the same way. You're not either THIS or THIS. I've 'friend-zone'-d guys to end up dating them later and actually liking them, it's not like once a guy is your friend he never has a chance.
I mean I guess some girls do things like this, and I know for purposes of asking for and seeking advice you have to simplify people and situations, but it still bothers me when people act like 'girls' all act 'this way.'
Sorry, ha, I'm grumpy. Also, currently in a year+ long relationship with someone who I was just friends with, never attracted to, never considered until a few weeks into knowing him I had a 'wow' moment and realized I had to jump all over that…that's not a correct sentence, but you know, you get it.
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Post by ch00beh on Nov 22, 2010 3:17:02 GMT -5
it is true that girls are not mysterious. they are all dumb and have cooties. it is pretty simple i think.
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Prime
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Post by Prime on Mar 3, 2011 10:47:29 GMT -5
Its actually a pretty simple formula.
Talk to girl, see if you like girl. If you do, ask her out, she'll probably have made up her mind by this point. If she hasn't made up her mind, she'll delay. If she has, you'll get an answer. Negative or posative, eh, either way. Dating and/or 'picking up chicks' is simply the art of knowing how to fail inbetween your successes.
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