Post by ch00beh on Aug 24, 2010 16:31:34 GMT -5
So I found this little gem while reading the Lugiasian awards for 09, and realized that no one on the boards actually got to read it because the post was in the coffee lounge never existed in the first place.
What just happened? So. Eragon pulled a cable attached to the ceiling taught, and then a bunch of scrap flew into the air and hit the ceiling. I see the causation perfectly.
Also, whose desired effect are we talking about? Is the desired effect being thwarted my action, which means that the electricity didn't work? Or is it Prime's desired effect, which means that pulling the cable taught didn't- oh wait, no desired effect of pulling the cable was ever stated.
YOU ARE FIGHTING RIE. THIS IS TWICE IN A ROW.
Is this the desired effect? So that means that never happened, because you negated it earlier? idgi
But I thought the cable was wrapped around your chest!
I suppose I can give you that one. Oh wait, iron is only one magnitude of power less conductive than copper, and Eragon is grounded, so the electricity is going straight down. Though I suppose that the lights aren't getting much juice to them anyway. Er, wait, we're in Cherrygrove. That means 240v. That's deadly to a normal person.
We're fighting in ruins? I thought we were fighting in a junkyard.
You are talking to a ball of OH MY GOSH YOU DID NOT JUST FIND A RANDOM ARTIFACT IN A TOURNAMENT THAT WILL GIVE YOU AN ADVANTAGE NOT INHERENT TO YOUR CHARACTER.
You would have a short phallic blade.
You touched what to the what in the what?
Lolol energy.
I think i'm going to find a "misfiled" Ender robot. Has all the powers of full power Ender, is totally obedient only to the sound of Rie's voice, and was discarded by Sly because it was too strong to let loose on the world.
What kind of traps? I'm going to pretend that means "Prime set up trip wires" because I do not know what else to treat them as.
AND SO
If that heartily amused you, I'm opening up this topic wherein anyone can submit a post that I will give a play by play analysis of after some time. All you have to do is give me a link, and I'll give it a read, and if it's interesting enough, I'll even read the whole topic for the stuff that preceded it, and then I will tear it to pieces. It's gonna be so awesome.
If an author sees one of their works posted, they can feel free to PM me at about what scale of harshness I can be, with 1 being polite advice and 5 being what I did to Prime but worse. They just have to get the PM to me before I post the critique, otherwise I'll default to 5.
Oh and PS I reserve the right to not play-by-play any good posts because then I'd just be douchebag.
Sept 20, 2009 21:45:20 GMT -5 @hermes said:
Just as Eragon felt a slight jolt of electricity in his hands, he pulled the cable taught. It didn't have the desired effect at all, but instead collect a massive ball of scrap and jammed it against the ceiling. What just happened? So. Eragon pulled a cable attached to the ceiling taught, and then a bunch of scrap flew into the air and hit the ceiling. I see the causation perfectly.
Also, whose desired effect are we talking about? Is the desired effect being thwarted my action, which means that the electricity didn't work? Or is it Prime's desired effect, which means that pulling the cable taught didn't- oh wait, no desired effect of pulling the cable was ever stated.
He could only presume that Nat
YOU ARE FIGHTING RIE. THIS IS TWICE IN A ROW.
had relocated the end of his cable, and only hope that she was still there when he pulled it tight.
Is this the desired effect? So that means that never happened, because you negated it earlier? idgi
He let go of the cable, wiping the dust off his hands.
But I thought the cable was wrapped around your chest!
The length of the cable, and the resistance of the iron, coupled with the low electrical charge, ended with him getting nothing more than a joke shop shock. He'd had a lot worse.
I suppose I can give you that one. Oh wait, iron is only one magnitude of power less conductive than copper, and Eragon is grounded, so the electricity is going straight down. Though I suppose that the lights aren't getting much juice to them anyway. Er, wait, we're in Cherrygrove. That means 240v. That's deadly to a normal person.
He ducked into some more ruins
We're fighting in ruins? I thought we were fighting in a junkyard.
and stumbled upon something most interesting.
"Well, hello there. You seem to have been misfiled." Eragon said, looking at a sphere of liquid metal, floating nonchalantly in the air.
"Well, hello there. You seem to have been misfiled." Eragon said, looking at a sphere of liquid metal, floating nonchalantly in the air.
You are talking to a ball of OH MY GOSH YOU DID NOT JUST FIND A RANDOM ARTIFACT IN A TOURNAMENT THAT WILL GIVE YOU AN ADVANTAGE NOT INHERENT TO YOUR CHARACTER.
Eragon took the tip of his knife, and touched the metal lightly. It quickly flowed into and around the blade, creating a wet metallic shortblade.
You would have a short phallic blade.
"Hmmmmm," Eragon said, feeling it out. He touched the end of the blade, and then to another.
You touched what to the what in the what?
A loose metallic string, hard to see but humming with energy, sprung up between the two points.
Lolol energy.
Eragon grinned, "Oh the things to be found in a mad scientists lab." He chuckled.
I think i'm going to find a "misfiled" Ender robot. Has all the powers of full power Ender, is totally obedient only to the sound of Rie's voice, and was discarded by Sly because it was too strong to let loose on the world.
Eragon darted through the ruins at high speeds, setting up everything from simple snare traps, to complex Indiana Jones style monstrosities. Still, they were little more than distractions. He really had to find a way around her phasing ability.
What kind of traps? I'm going to pretend that means "Prime set up trip wires" because I do not know what else to treat them as.
AND SO
If that heartily amused you, I'm opening up this topic wherein anyone can submit a post that I will give a play by play analysis of after some time. All you have to do is give me a link, and I'll give it a read, and if it's interesting enough, I'll even read the whole topic for the stuff that preceded it, and then I will tear it to pieces. It's gonna be so awesome.
If an author sees one of their works posted, they can feel free to PM me at about what scale of harshness I can be, with 1 being polite advice and 5 being what I did to Prime but worse. They just have to get the PM to me before I post the critique, otherwise I'll default to 5.
Oh and PS I reserve the right to not play-by-play any good posts because then I'd just be douchebag.