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Post by Belle on Aug 5, 2012 0:25:22 GMT -5
Poor son of Earth, how couldst thou thus alone have led thy life, bereft of me? I, for a time, at least, have worked thy cure; thy fancy's rickets plague thee not at all: Had I not been, so hadst thou, sure, walked thyself off this earthly ball. Why here to caverns, rocky hollows slinking, sit'st thou, as 'twere an owl a-blinking? Why suck'st, from sodden moss and dripping stone, toad-like, thy nourishment alone? A fine way, this, thy time to fill! A blessing drawn from supernatural fountains! In night and dew to lie upon the mountains; all Heaven and Earth in rapture penetrating; thyself to Godhood haughtily inflating; to grub with yearning force through Earth's dark marrow, compress the six days' work within thy bosom narrow,-- To taste, I know not what, in haughty power, thine own ecstatic life on all things shower, thine earthly self behind thee cast, and then the lofty instinct, thus-- [With a gesture:] at last,-- I daren't say how -- to pluck the final flower! weirdos
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Post by Testbug on Aug 5, 2012 18:14:21 GMT -5
Poor son of Earth, how couldst thou thus alone have led thy life, bereft of me? I, for a time, at least, have worked thy cure; thy fancy's rickets plague thee not at all: Had I not been, so hadst thou, sure, walked thyself off this earthly ball. Why here to caverns, rocky hollows slinking, sit'st thou, as 'twere an owl a-blinking? Why suck'st, from sodden moss and dripping stone, toad-like, thy nourishment alone? A fine way, this, thy time to fill! A blessing drawn from supernatural fountains! In night and dew to lie upon the mountains; all Heaven and Earth in rapture penetrating; thyself to Godhood haughtily inflating; to grub with yearning force through Earth's dark marrow, compress the six days' work within thy bosom narrow,-- To taste, I know not what, in haughty power, thine own ecstatic life on all things shower, thine earthly self behind thee cast, and then the lofty instinct, thus-- [With a gesture:] at last,-- I daren't say how -- to pluck the final flower! Ja ist piraten! We've lost her, guys.
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Post by Ninety on Aug 6, 2012 0:13:46 GMT -5
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Post by Testbug on Aug 11, 2012 9:20:36 GMT -5
Guys, wait. I've been scanning through pohatu's post, and I've noticed that a few key words continued to pop up throughout his concluding speech. His choice of language and phrasing lead me to believe that there was hidden meaning behind these phrases, and I finally came to a conclusion. Pohatu's hinting that one of us could be a mole. I know. I'm shocked. It is now the time in this game, The Mole, that we should start searching for sabotage. One of us is obviously not who they seem, and has been throwing off our game from the very start. I will gather some clues and get back to you on who the mole i- Oh no. IT'S POHATU.
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Post by Ninety on Aug 13, 2012 23:20:19 GMT -5
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 5, 2012 22:16:18 GMT -5
Well, guys, I'm not going to try to make excuses for the monthlong hiatus. I mean, I have some excuses, cause August was pretty much the month of business, but who cares! I'm not fishing for sympathy, I'd rather just apologize. I'm really sorry. This time it was totally Sem's fault. Oh, no, wait -- shit -- what I meant to say is that this time it wasn't even Sem's fault. I... Sorry. Force of habit. The only thing I'll say is that this next challenge took a healthy amount of playtesting -- I wanted to make sure there were no glaring imbalances, so that's what I've been doing since the Manly article. I'm kinda mostly sure that I've got it smoothed out, or at least I'm sick of testing, so let's go! Our next challenge is GASP a dog race!! It is specifically adapted from this Mafia minigame of Lee's from way back in 2007, during Mafia III. For which reason I don't feel guilty about recycling the idea, because none of you four were around back then. Not even born yet, probably. Anyway, the premise is simple. Eight dogs will embark on an INCREDIBLE JOURNEY across a hypothetical hundred-foot track. I like how I wanted to specify that the track is hypothetical, but didn't bother to clarify whether the dogs are as well. Maybe I want you guys to imagine that I own eight actual dogs and I am going to drug them up on the doggie equivalent of catnip, put them on eight adjacent treadmills, and trick them into thinking they're racing. Maybe that's true?? As with all Mole challenges, you never really know what's going on until it's over. Whatever! Dogs! Track! And beforehand, each of the four of you will have placed a bet on the outcome of the race. You will bet on one dog to "show" (place third or higher) and bet on another dog to "whatever the opposite of show is" (place sixth or lower). When it's all over, the team will earn or lose EP based on how the dogs performed. I'll explain that by PM. But is this a challenge of sheer luck? No, not quite. The four of you will be given five bones each. During any round of the race, you can PM me choosing to toss a bone to one of the dogs. That dog will get so caught up on chewing that fuckin' amazing bone that they will miss their next round. In this way each of you has the agency to influence the race's outcome to some degree, ensuring a favorable showing for the dog you bet on, and less so for the dog you bet against. With that said, let's MEET THE DOGS.(Note: The "multiplier" listed under each entry affects the amount of EP the team wins if that dog shows. The multiplier is applied to the stake of EP that the appropriate player set.) Mutt: A typical dog, fairly average in ability. Description: 1d8 feet per turn. However, he's very insecure about his dubious pedigree compared to the other dogs. If he rolls lower than a 4 for three rounds consecutively, the Mutt gains a SHAME BONUS, and his max speed increases to 10 (so his speed becomes 1d10) until he has rolled at least a 6. Multiplier: 1.5x Greyhound: This fleet animal was bred to run. Description: 1d10 feet per turn. If she happens to get her maximum roll (beginning from 10), she gains momentum and her max speed increases by 1 (so her sped would first increase to 1d11). Multiplier: 0.5x Whippet: A smaller relative to the greyhound, this dog starts fast, but loses energy later. Description: 1d10 feet per turn until he passes the 50ft mark. 1d6 feet per turn subsequently. Multipler: 1x Husky: Used to pulling heavy sleds, this dog starts slow, but accelerates as the race proceeds. Description: 1d8 feet per turn until she passes the 50ft mark. 1d10 feet per turn subsequently. Multiplier: 1x Doberman: A vicious brute, more wolf than dog really fierce dog than nice dog. Description: 1d6 feet per turn. If he rolls a 3 or below, he gets REALLY ANGRY, hops aboard his blue shell, slides to the front of the pack, bites whichever dog is in the lead, and then returns to his spot. The bitten dog loses a turn. If two or more dogs are in the lead, he picks one randomly. However, the Doberman at least has enough honor that he won't try to bite the same dog twice in a row. Multiplier: 2x Dachshund: What's such a tiny dog doing in the race? Well, this size must have its advantages. Description: 1d6 feet per turn. He's so tiny that the Doberman won't bother attempting to bite him, and will try to bite the next dog back instead. Every time the Dachshund rolls a 6, he escapes the force of Earth's gravity and engages in a ROCKET JUMP (pictured above), causing him to advance 12 feet instead of 6. Multiplier: 1.5x Lassie: A movie star of a dog, the ideal animal for anybody. Description: 1d12 feet per turn (she cheats and gets away with it because she's a celebrity). Every time she rolls a 9 or higher, she pauses for a photo op, losing a turn but earning 5 EP if any player bet on her to show. Multiplier: 1x Micmac: The best damn dog ever. Description: 1d8 feet per turn. Channery has trained him so exceptionally well that he is immune to distraction. There's no use tossing bones at Micmac, because he'll ignore them. (He's still susceptible to getting bitten by the Doberman, though.) Multiplier: 1.5x Right! So. Expect a PM from me soon. Maybe tomorrow though. I got a date with some Mad Men just now. No, it can't wait.
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Post by The Evil Biscuit on Sept 6, 2012 17:14:26 GMT -5
FUCK YEAH DOG RACES
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 12, 2012 13:10:34 GMT -5
All right, players. I've collected your bets. Let's get this race started! Each of you has predicted that one dog will place in the top three and that another dog will place in the bottom three. But I will not be revealing who's betted on which dog so far, and won't divulge that until the race is over. Do you want to just go ahead and tell the other three players how you placed your bet? Well, you could, but bear in mind: someone here is the Mole. If you're upfront with the other players about how you bet, then the Mole might easily use his or her bones to hinder whichever dog you think will show. And, after all, the other contestants can't really counteract him or her, since there's no way to boost a dog's speed. So, think carefully or hold your tongue. You might actually consider lying about the bet you placed, so as to throw the Mole off-track (literally, hyuk hyuk!). Decide for yourselves. And don't ever forget about those five bones you've been awarded. I'm not going to PM you guys every round to ask "Who wants to throw a bone?" You need to PM me proactively to do so, not wait for my signal. Just shoot me a message saying "I'ma throw a bone at this here dog right here." And make sure it is a PM -- don't post here in the topic about throwing bones. You may certainly post anything else here in the topic, however, such as moral support for your favorite dog, or jeers and boos for that one dog you just hate so much. Go ahead! Expect two rounds per day. Probably one in the morning, one in the evening. Just one today, though to start us off. There won't be any set time, so, like the Post Race, it's up to you to visit the board a few times a day to make sure you haven't missed a round. Not that it's any big deal if you do miss a round -- you just lose an opportunity to throw a bone. Figure on probably thirty or so rounds altogether; in playtesting, it usually came out to between twenty and twenty-five, but that was without the mechanic of bones. Remember: The bones are there to help make your bet come true. Use them wisely to keep your favored dog in the top three and your unfavored dog in the bottom three.(Oh, and I'll be using RANDOM.ORG for the rolls. Once again I promise not to lie. No reason to. I love all of these dogs. I own them, you know. They are real dogs that I own.) With all that being said............... let's race!!!!!!!!!!!! * * * These dogs are ready to go! I see the Mutt pawing at the ground, focusing on the track. He's got a lot to prove today. Maybe... just maybe... if he comes in the top three... that little white girl who was gushing over him back at the kennel will adopt him??? Oh it is painful even to hope! The Greyhound is strutting back and forth at her starting position, limbering up her lanky legs. She's the prime candidate today and she knows it full well. But that means she has the most to lose, as well. She can't afford to get complacent, not until all seven of those other dogs are eating her dust. The Whippet... looks kind of confused... and might not exactly know what's going on right now. But you can bet that when the gate opens up and he's confronted with that vast length of fresh flat track, he's gonna run as fast as those dainty little legs will carry him. The Husky stands perfectly still, staring straight ahead without so much as an errant twitch of her bushy fur. She's conserving every last thunderpound of energy in her system [note to self: Research basic units of energy] for the imminent dash. The Doberman is looking up and down the track, sizing up the other dogs with a hateful gleam in his eye. He's evidently trying to decide which of them look the tastiest. By the way his tongue slides across his teeth, he'd rather be wolfing down a nice chain of sausage links right now, but he'll make do with what he's got. Meanwhile the Dachshund is jumping the fuck up and down and flipping around and generally being a little spaz. Over here is the star of the race. Lassie is preening and posing for the crowd, bathing in the adulation from all sides. Even if she were to lose today, the media would still love her -- but it certainly couldn't hurt her career to win. What's that? Sorry, Micmac can't hear you. He's too busy being the best damn dog ever. ROUND 1 START ! ! !
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 13, 2012 9:23:37 GMT -5
First out of the gate, Lassie cheats all to hell with an opening move of 11ft. I swear to God she's got like five little dogs in there running the race for her. The crowd goes absolutely wild, as do the cameramen, so Lassie takes a time-out to give them the golden photo-op they're looking for. Lassie's location: 11ft - Status: will pause for photo op on the next round Next is the Doberman, putting forth an unexpectedly strong beginning by rushing out of the gate at maximum speed: 6ft. You'd think he'd hang back and let the other dogs get ahead before unleashing his blue shell chomp attack fury, but maybe he's really angling for Lassie... Doberman's location: 6ft - Status: normal Next up, Micmac and the Greyhound are neck-and-neck at 5ft each. The Greyhound doesn't look too happy to be matched by such a big lummox as Micmac, but that probably won't last too much longer. Greyhound's location: 5ft - Status: normal Micmac's location: 5ft - Status: normal The Mutt and the Dachshund are bringing in a healthy 3ft each. But you won't be able to tell that to the Mutt, who feels pretty rotten about getting off to such a bad start. He's building up his SHAME BONUS. Mutt's location: 3ft - Status: gathering SHAME BONUS (must roll lower than 4 on two more rounds consecutively) Dachshund's location: 3ft - Status: normal Why's the Husky so far back, at only 2ft? I really thought she was going to make a beeline out of the gate, with the way she was acting beforehand. She must still be playing it cool. Husky's location: 2ft - Status: normal And where's that little Whippet. I don't even see him on the track... Has he...? But no! The Whippet is loitering by the gate, gnawing on a super tasty amazing bone! I don't believe it -- only one round in and one of our dogs has already been sabotaged! One among you is really hot to trot, aren't they? That Whippet's going to have to make up for it in the next round. Whippet's location: 0ft - Status: chewing a bone ROUND 2 START ! ! !
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 13, 2012 18:55:04 GMT -5
Lassie is still at the front of the pack, but she's striking a signature pose for the crowd and refuses to move. This one is called the Cobalt Cobra. Sssssss! Watch out!!!! Lassie's location: 11ft - Status: doing the Cobalt Cobra Ah, here's that burst of speed I was expecting. The Husky rockets to second place with a maximum roll of 8ft. No doubt she's envisioning the track as a snowy plain, the other dogs as her sledmates, and the spectators as... um... snow goblins? Snow -- Snow goblins. Husky's location: 10ft - Status: normal The Greyhound's next, with a relatively unimpressive advance of 4 feet, but it's enough to put her in third place. If she acts now, she may be able to overtake Lassie and the Husky in the next round. Also: The three girl dogs are the top three right now. So, grrl power, I guess. Greyhound's location: 9ft - Status: normal Ooh, so close to greatness! Had the Dachshund rolled just one higher, he would have initiated a mighty ROCKET JUMP and showed these stupid girls what racing is all about. Next time, Dachshund, maybe. He's still doing well with a roll of 5ft. Dachshund's location: 8ft - Status: normal Micmac seems to be having second thoughts, only advancing 1ft this time. What's the holdup, big boy? For some reason, this brings him neck-and-neck with the Doberman, who hasn't seemed to... my gosh! Oh, horsefeathers! The Doberman is chewing on a super amazing delicious tasty bone!! No need to take a chunk out of any other dog's leg when he has this sublime delicacy to savor! He's not moving. Micmac's location: 6ft - Status: normal Doberman's location: 6ft - Status: chewing a bone Oh my god look at the Mutt. The poor guy only rolled a 2. He's feeling this. You can see his eyes welling up. He can barely look the track in the face. I... I might have a little something in the ol' eye, myself. It's okay, Mutt! You can still do this! YOU CAN STILL WIN. I BELIEVE IN YOU, YOU POOR POOR THING. Mutt's location: 5ft - Status: gathering SHAME BONUS (must roll lower than 4 on one more round) Only 1ft? Fuck you, Whippet. Whippet's location: 1ft - Status: normal ROUND 3 START ! ! !
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 14, 2012 11:36:47 GMT -5
The Husky presses relentlessly onward and seizes first place with an advance of 5ft. She's doing quite well, and she hasn't even picked up the halfway bonus yet. Husky's location: 15ft - Status: normal Lassie finally decided the public's had all it can take for the moment, and so resumed the race. But only rolling 3ft isn't too impressive, and she's lost her prized first place. Will the celebrity be shown up at race's end? Lassie's location: 14ft - Status: normal Once again this poor Dachshund brushes within an inch of greatness! He advanced another 5ft. Would it have been too much to ask for just one more foot, Dachshund? Really? We all want to see the ROCKET JUMP, dude. It's okay though, take your time, the race has only just begun. Dachshund's location: 13ft - Status: normal Uh-oh, the Greyhound's slipped to fourth place. Only a 2ft advance? What are those long legs for, Greyhound? Tripwires for unsuspecting humans when you lie down on the living room floor? Get your head in the game! Greyhound's location: 11ft - Status: normal WHOA. Whoa whoa. On the opposite note, I take back everything I've said about the Whippet, who just managed to move 8ft in one round. Now you are rolling with the big boys, Whippet. (Most of them are girls.) Whippet's location: 9ft - Status: normal Um, so apparently Micmac really loves sharing the track with other dogs. He's so sociable. Best dog ever. But this strategy has yielded diminishing returns, as he's dropped from sharing 3rd with the Greyhound, to sharing 5th with the Doberman, and now to sharing 6th with the Mutt. Time to make it on your own, Micmac! But what about that Mutt, anyway? My god. He only rolled a 3. This is the third time in a row he's advanced less than 4ft at a time. The tears are flying. The ears are drooping. The tail is wilting. This dog is a vision of humiliation. It's time for the SHAME BONUS!! He's gonna work super-hard to catch up now! Micmac's location: 8ft - Status: normal Mutt's location: 8ft - Status: SHAME BONUS (will roll 1d10 on each upcoming round until he gets a 6 or higher) And then here's this stupid Doberman only advancing 1ft. That's it. TIME FOR CHOMPS. The Doberman zooms to the front of the pack atop his blue shell, and bites the Husky! Then he returns to his original position. The Husky, who has no doubt braved sub-sub-Arctic temperatures and watched dozens of her sledmates die crude and ignoble deaths in the savage wilderness, nonetheless goes all pansy and starts nursing her bite wound. She'll miss the next round. Doberman's location: 7ft - Status: just bit the Husky ROUND 4 START ! ! !
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 14, 2012 17:54:59 GMT -5
Man, I take back the tripwire comment. The Greyhound just rocketed to first place with a perfect roll of 10ft! And you know what this means: for getting her maximum roll, the Greyhound has picked up momentum and now boasts an increased roll of 1d11. This could be a game-changer! Greyhound's location: 21ft - Status: HOLY... And whoa whoa whoa what is this?! Two perfect rolls of 10ft in one round? That's right, the Mutt just came back with a vengeance! All that pain and desperation finally pushed him to greatness, and he made the absolute most of his SHAME BONUS. It's now passed, so he's back down to 1d8 per round, but who knows, he might accumulate more shame as the race progresses. Right now, though, I can't even see the Greyhound anymore -- she's completely obscured by the Mutt's enormous balls. Mutt's location: 18ft - Status: ...SHIT And it might not be quite as impressive a move, but the Whippet is clearly done messing around, making a speedy advance of 7ft. From eighth to third in the course of two rounds?? THIS. IS. DOG RACE.Whippet's location: 16ft - Status: normal Okay, at this point I kind of just want Micmac to always be neck-and-neck with someone, all the way through the race. He, too, just surged forward with a commendable 7ft roll, catching him up to the immobile Husky, who's busy nursing her bite wound. She'll get back into the action next round. Husky's location: 15ft - Status: nursing her bite wound Micmac's location: 15ft - Status: normal No move this time for Lassie, who's still stalling at the 14ft mark, but it's not because she's striking a pose........ it's because she is busy gnawing on this fabulous amazing splendid exquisite bone that someone from the audience just tossed her way! Jeez, as if she didn't get enough rewards for nothing... Lassie's location: 14ft - Status: chewing a bone How about you, Dachshund? Time to show off that aerodynamic little sausage body? No? What are you doing, Dachshund? What have you got there? Oh golly goodness. Someone threw a bone to the Dachshund. No -- wait -- TWO PEOPLE threw bones to the Dachshund! THAT DOG IS GNAWING ON TWO BONES AT ONCE. THIS IS THE FINEST DAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE BREED. Well, shit, guys! Looks like you really wanted the Dachshund to take a little break. Too bad the second person to throw their bone wasted it -- there's no effect when multiple bones are thrown at the same dog in one round. Dachshund's location: 13ft - Status: chewing two god damn bones This Doberman. This guy. You know the only reason he bites the other dogs so much is cause he's insecure about his low speed. He's still lagging behind, but since he only advanced 2ft this round, he bit another dog. The Greyhound's frog-like pinprick hindquarters fall prey to the Doberman's slavering jaws! Doberman's location: 9ft - Status: just bit the Greyhound ROUND 5 START ! ! !
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 15, 2012 11:56:40 GMT -5
And then came the round in which practically nobody moved, though the Whippet made out pretty good. A solid advance of 6ft puts the Whippet in first place. Apparently he knows something the other dogs don't, although you'd never guess it to look at that face. Whippet's location: 22ft - Status: the comeback kid The Greyhound stalls due to the Doberman's bite. No movement this round. And... why, that's Micmac catching right up to her. He keeps taking cheap shots -- first he caught up to the bitten Husky last round, now the bitten Greyhound this round. I wonder if he'll be neck-and-neck with the bitten Whippet next round? Oh, spoilers! Greyhound's location: 21ft - Status: nursing her bite wound Micmac's location: 21ft - Status: normal Well, the Mutt's hot streak just came to a screeching halt. On the other hand, maybe he can build up enough of a cold streak to get another SHAME BONUS. He only advanced 2ft this time. Mutt's location: 20ft - Status: gathering SHAME BONUS (must roll lower than 4 on two more rounds consecutively) Lassie and the Husky are now neck-and-neck after a pathetic move on both their parts -- 2ft for Lassie, 1ft for the Husky. Jeez, dogs, was last round too much spectacle for you? Husky's location: 16ft - Status: normal Lassie's location: 16ft - Status: normal ET TU, DACHSHUND?! Just 1ft? Christ... Dachshund's location: 14ft - Status: obviously put on a little weight after the last round With an advance of 3ft, the Doberman just barely gets another bite in, landing a chomp on the Whippet. It's great and all that he's biting the other dogs so much, but maybe if he could roll a 4 or higher at some point, he might actually catch up to the pack. Doberman's location: 12ft - Status: just bit the Whippet ROUND 6 START ! ! !
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Post by Ninety on Sept 15, 2012 14:35:35 GMT -5
Why is micmac still listed at 15ft
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Post by Testbug on Sept 15, 2012 15:27:38 GMT -5
same with the husky
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Post by Ninety on Sept 15, 2012 15:31:04 GMT -5
and lassie
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Post by Testbug on Sept 15, 2012 15:51:01 GMT -5
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 15, 2012 16:04:26 GMT -5
I should know by now not to get excited when I see any of you post in this topic.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 16, 2012 10:32:01 GMT -5
A surprise turnaround! Lassie cheats cheats like all fuck puts forth an outstanding effort and advances 10ft. Micmac advances five, putting them neck-and-neck, because apparently IT IS NOT THE DOG RACE UNLESS MICMAC IS SIDE-BY-SIDE WITH SOMEONE. They're leading the pack, but with such a strong showing in this round, Lassie is sure to pose for the cameras next time. Lassie's location: 26ft - Status: will pause for photo op on the next round Micmac's location: 26ft - Status: normal I really feel like the Mutt must be going straight for another SHAME BONUS, given his meager roll of 3ft this time. Is there perhaps a hint of acting, to this woobie business? I've got my eye on him. Meantimes he's tied with the Husky, who put forth a strong 7ft advance. Mutt's location: 23ft - Status: gathering SHAME BONUS (must roll lower than 4 on one more round) Husky's location: 23ft - Status: normal No movement for the Whippet this round -- he's limping from the bite the Doberman gave him last time. Those legs are like toothpicks, what do you want from him. Whippet's location: 22ft - Status: nursing his bite wound Conversely, just when you'd think the Greyhound would be ready to get back in action after recovering from her bite in the previous round... she's stalling again. Seems someone has a bone to pick with her. Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha. Greyhound's location: 21ft - Status: chewing a bone This Dachshund, I swear to God, if he keeps teasing us with these 5ft rolls... Just do the ROCKET JUMP already, sheesh! Dachshund's location: 19ft - Status: starting to be a disappointment And finally, one bloodthirsty Doberman. It really seems as though he's totally given up on winning the race and has no aspirations except to cause the other dogs as much pain as possible. He only rolled a 2, so, chomp time. Of course there are two dogs in the lead, and if they were both equal candidates then I'd just flip a coin, but the Doberman can see that Lassie is about to pause anyway for another of her wimpy photo shoots, so with the cold instinct of a trained assassin, he goes right for Micmac instead. Doberman's location: 14ft - Status: just bit Micmac ROUND 7 START ! ! !
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 16, 2012 20:44:50 GMT -5
Oh. Wow. So, never mind about the Mutt trying for another SHAME BONUS. He just rolled a perfect 8ft. The dog is on fire. To hell with the nonbelievers, this guy's going all the way to the top. Mutt's location: 31ft - Status: booyeah And the Husky's not doing so shabby herself, with a 6ft advance, putting her at a close second. If she can hold onto this favorable position by the time the pack hits the 50ft mark, she could easily break ahead with her late-game bonus. Husky's location: 29ft - Status: normal And then there's the funhouse. Okay, so Lassie advanced so much last round that she paused for the cameras this time, all well and good. She's busting out a primetime pose called the Vermilion Verve. Damn that Lassie sho is sassy!! Meanwhile, in the background of the shot, there's Micmac looking awful miffed that the Doberman bit him last round. He's hurt too badly to move this time. BUT what is this. Why, there is also a bone lying on the ground next to Micmac. Someone threw a bone to Micmac. One of you four... threw a bone... to Micmac. Maybe this isn't registering? I'll put it in emergency lettering: One of you four players threw a bone to Micmac, forgetting that his whole gimmick (apart from always sharing space with another dog) is that he's too well-trained to go after any bone that's tossed his way. Also, the player chose to do this in a round when Micmac was already going to be disabled anyway by the Doberman's bite. It would be extremely petty of me to mention that this player is one of the two who were busting my chops for minor record-keeping errors the other day, so I will refrain from pointing that out. Just know that I'm laughing a very obnoxious laugh right now. Lassie's location: 26ft - Status: doing the Vermilion Verve Micmac's location: 26ft - Status: nursing his bite wound, and pointedly not chewing a bone Pretty pathetic advance on the part of the Greyhound -- only 3ft. At this rate, I wouldn't worry too much about her maxing out again and gaining even more momentum. Meanwhile, the Dachshund teases us ONCE A FUCKIN' GAIN with a 5ft roll. Dude you are SO CLOSE to the rocket jump, just do it already, c'monnnnnnnnn. Greyhound's location: 24ft - Status: normal Dachshund's location: 24ft - Status: seriously? Aaaand the Whippet finally finished being a wuss about his bite wound, only to turn around and start chewing a bone someone threw him. From first to seventh in the course of two rounds?? THIS. IS. DOG RACE.Whippet's location: 22ft - Status: chewing a bone Hey, maybe people will pay attention to this guy now! But guess what -- for the first time since round 2, he didn't bite anyone. He advanced 4ft, which is kinda lame cause it's the smallest amount he can roll without biting a dog, so it's sort of the worst of both worlds. But at least he's only another 4ft behind the next dog, as opposed to 5ft. He's closing the gap. Inch by inch. He's totally gonna win the race. We all know that's happening, right? Doberman's location: 18ft - Status: nope, didn't bite anyone ROUND 8 START ! ! !
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Post by The Evil Biscuit on Sept 17, 2012 0:56:21 GMT -5
Gimme 100 EP on a Husky/MicMac/Whip trifecta box.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 17, 2012 9:25:22 GMT -5
You only have 65 EP...
...and I'd save them for the third challenge.
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Post by Testbug on Sept 17, 2012 10:35:26 GMT -5
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 17, 2012 12:20:54 GMT -5
(1) EVERYONE MOVES IN THIS ROUND! (2) THE DACHSHUND FINALLY DOES THE FUCKING ROCKET JUMP! (3) MICMAC FINALLY OCCUPIES A SPOT ON THE TRACK BY HIMSELF! Two of these statements are true and one of them is a lie. Which is what?? You'll just have to read on to find out. A 9ft advance for Lassie. Good, but it just means she's gonna pause for another photo op on the next round. So it's like she moved 9ft over the course of two rounds. Which is actually pretty shitty for a dog with 1d12 speed. Why doesn't she just roll two 6s? I guess fame trumps all other concerns. Lassie's location: 35ft - Status: will pause for photo op on the next round Okay, so the Mutt only advanced 3ft this time, and he's technically preparing another SHAME BONUS, but he's still holding strong in the number-two spot. Let's not get all dewy-eyed and sentimental about him, I mean Jesus. Mutt's location: 34ft - Status: gathering SHAME BONUS (must roll lower than 4 on two more rounds consecutively) Oh whoa whoa! Whoa! What is this? Finally had enough of those other dogs, did you, Micmac? After logging hours next to every other competitor except the Whippet and Dachshund, Micmac is striking off on his own. Micmac's location: 33ft - Status: finally independent And a 7ft advance puts the Greyhound back on the map after dragging in the last couple of rounds. This could be her chance to reclaim a spot in the top three, especially if the Doberman bites one of the lead dogs this time... Greyhound's location: 31ft - Status: normal On the other hand, the Husky really fell from grace, with an advance of just 1ft, totally fumbling her strong place in the last round. Focus, Husky! Pretend you've got a payload of medicine to deliver! Pretend it's the cure for AIDS! Whatever works! Husky's location: 30ft - Status: normal DACHSHUND STOP ROLLING 5S, I AM GETTING SERIOUSLY PISSED NOW. GOD, I TOTALLY KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE THE ONE THAT WOULDN'T TURN OUT TO BE TRUE. I HATE THIS CHALLENGE. Dachshund's location: 29ft - Status: fuck. you. dachshund. Only a 4ft advance? That's not going to get you back in the running, Whippet. Whippet's location: 26ft - Status: normal And another 4ft advance for the Doberman, too. No biting this time, either. This guy's gone soft, I swear. Doberman's location: 22ft - Status: normal ROUND 9 START ! ! !
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Post by The Evil Biscuit on Sept 17, 2012 13:07:26 GMT -5
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Post by Beelzebibble on Sept 17, 2012 13:45:44 GMT -5
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