A young man stands in his bedroom. He's been standing here for a while doing absolutely nothing. There's probably a good reason why we haven't noticed him until now but let's just forget it and pretend like he's been with us all along and never mention it again.
So what's his name?
Last Edit: Dec 15, 2012 13:02:13 GMT -5 by Molebolge
> Mark: Catch up to the other players. Talk about your strife specibus and sylladex.
You don't really feel like talking about any of that since it's such a simple matter but might as well indulge the notion while it's there. It's probably one of the least complicated fetch modi available and is definitely among the most convenient.
Last Edit: Dec 15, 2012 13:03:40 GMT -5 by Molebolge
It's empty right now since you just washed your hair a few hours ago but it has a large capacity compared to other fetch modi. The only downside is that it gets progressively harder to fish out the right card the more cards are shoved inside.
Your strife specibus is axeKind. You adopted it when your grandfather passed away and you inherited PAPAW'S HATCHET.
Last Edit: Dec 15, 2012 13:03:06 GMT -5 by Molebolge
> Mark: Show us some more of the shit in your room. Stuff that isn't posters.
You take a gander at your HOME GYM. Thirty minutes a day, three days a week: the key to getting the body of a Greek god. You're not sure which god it is but they were all pretty jacked so it doesn't matter. S'all good.
> Mark: Pester some of your friends. They're almost as awesome as you.
-- damnableNarcissist [DN] began pestering forteHolder [FH] --
DN: hey hey hey DN: what is up my aquamarine compadre DN: how you livin lil homie FH: Oh dude. FH: You're just in the nick of time. You have /seɪvd/ me. DN: oh yah? DN: how's that DN: lay your fears and troubles upon my feet FH: It's just... FH: Oh man I'm already starting to feel like a tool! FH: You're not just gonna laugh at me, are you? Promise?? It's kind of stupid. DN: i make no promises on that DN: whether i laugh or not is on you DN: you say something that amuses me and i'mma laugh DN: ain't gonna have no sway on what i say after though DN: hit me FH: That's... FH: Okay, I guess that's reassuring, somehow. FH: Yeah! Let's just get all the laughing out of the way up front. Do away with all the anxiety and suspense. I'll even lead us off! FH: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! FH: Ha ha ha ha ha! FH: Ha ha ha! FH: There's this girl. FH: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! DN: awwwww snap DN: lil ol flynn's got a crush on someone DN: my man DN: is she hot FH: Ha ha ha ha oh FH: Hey come on! That's a pretty superficial question to open with, isn't it? FH: Like, who cares?? Maybe she isn't hot at all. That doesn't matter, right? Maybe she's so ugly her old home videos taped THEMSELVES over with Sesame Street episodes! We don't know! FH: (/ɪksɛpt yɛə ʃi ɪz/) DN: oh it most definitely matters DN: we can't have you gallivantin around with some shovel-faced ho DN: crawled straight from the underbelly into your arms DN: i'm guessing those hieroglyphics at the end are telling me she's a looker DN: so that's good DN: i'm glad you've got your eye on something worth lookin at DN: so what's the problem FH: Man, I don't even know! FH: She's just so cagey &c., I can't read her at all. Like, how are you really supposed to know a girl likes you back? What are the signs?? I've /nɛvər/ figured out exactly how that works! It's always just been one shot in the dark after another. FH: Then I went and roped myself in as her server player and she was totally down, but what if she took that the wrong way? FH: Maybe she thinks it's like 'Oh hurrah we're best friends forever that's why he wants to be my server'! FH: 'Just Jim Dandy'!! DN: yeah that could be it DN: she could also be yearning to manhandle your man-handle DN: you've got to step your game up DN: make her want your hot fire DN: just be confident, mang FH: I know. But what if I start acting too confident and fuck everything up??? FH: If we lose the game, she's going to blame me! And I /noʊ/ I'll mess up somewhere. Especially if I let my ego get ahead of me, which it SOMETIMES DOES. DN: i guess you'll just have to be perfect 24/7 DN: three sixty five DN: national holidays excluded DN: you've got to let your ego do its thing DN: if it gets ahead of you then you need to catch up DN: cuz it's got the right fuckin idea DN: always forward DN: always strong DN: and we ain't losing the game DN: we got this shit on lock DN: or we will DN: as soon as i get my copy up and running FH: Do you have the discs yet? DN: they're somewhere DN: that much can be said for sure DN: i know i saw them earlier today DN: probably in the kitchen DN: i'll pick em up in a bit FH: Well, you do sound pretty sure about that... FH: I feel oddly compelled to trust you! FH: Maybe you're right! Maybe ego is the way to go. How else am I supposed to sound as authoritative as I'm gonna need to?? DN: damn right DN: you've got to be in tune with your star player DN: let everyone know who the true gangsta is DN: umi says shine your light on the world DN: shine your light for the world to see FH: SO TRUE! FH: The true-est! FH: That's the way to impress a girl. Just -- just shining light all /oʊvər/ the place like a god damned lighthouse on the cliffs. Oh man, Bicé's gonna be so impressed next time I talk to her! FH: Who's going to screw everything up? Not this kid! DN: oh it's Bicé huh DN: a noble pursuit of a fine woman DN: yeah you've got your work cut out for you DN: no slacking allowed, homes DN: she's a killer FH: /oʊ fʌk/ FH: No, you know what, I meant to say that. I had no intention of withholding her name. Only the weak would make a secret of their hearts' stirrings! FH: At least, make a secret of that in conversation with other people who -- who aren't the object of affection in question, because it might -- it might certainly be too soon to open up to FH: I FH: God I'm totally overthinking this bravado thing now! Can't believe there were times when it seemed so easy. FH: This is hard work!! DN: life is hard DN: the trick is to make it look easy DN: just get your head right DN: stop thinking so much DN: let the mojo flow DN: it is the natural order of things FH: Will that make me cool enough for Bicé? FH: What if the natural order of things is me being a total loser and not even worth the ground she walks on?? FH: She's REALLY COOL, is the problem. The coolest! DN: yeah you're right DN: she's pretty bitchin DN: too hot for the likes of you DN: what was i thinking trying to help you DN: you need to set your sights lower DN: a lot lower DN: subterranean level booty DN: i'll take care of Bicé while you go spelunking for your next girl DN: she'll be in good hands DN: i got this DN: you just watch out for bats FH: Hey, fuck you, Rohr. Step off! You wouldn't know how to treat a lady if she hit you upside your stupid hi-top with an instruction manual!! FH: ...is what I /wʊd/ say, if I didn't know reverse psychology when I saw it. FH: But on second thought, what are you telling me if not to stick up for myself? So I'll say it anyway: FH: Fuck you, Rohr! FH: And thanks a lot! FH: You are a TRUE FRIEND. I can always use more of those. DN: no sweat, brother DN: get in that ass FH: Uh... FH: Okay I don't know if I'm psyched enough up to be /ðæt/ forward, but... who cares! I still feel a hell of a lot better. FH: All right man, if there's nothing else, I better go load up the server disc. Time to get all the levels and lay waste to this piece of shit game! DN: that's the spirit DN: grab life by the hojos DN: do you, homie DN: i'mma do me DN: and grab this game DN: peace
-- damnableNarcissist [DN] began pestering prismaticFashionista [PF] --
DN: say there boyyyyyyy PF: oh hey sup DN: nada mucho mon frere DN: trilingual all up in here PF: oh man you and your languages PF: it takes a good drink to keep up with you PF: sort of DN: better pop those bottles then PF: beatcha to it DN: attaboy PF: man you know it DN: have you gotten your game yet PF: not yet i got distracted PF: stuff was happening DN: by stuff do you mean you rearranged your room again PF: yeah that DN: you need to chill with that PF: and beer happened DN: pick a layout and stick man DN: oh PF: no way man PF: you gotta switch it up! DN: wutev PF: keep it live and interesting DN: i think it's just because you puke everywhere DN: and you have to shuffle things to cover the piles DN: but wutev DN: i don't judge PF: no way man PF: i know how to handle my beer PF: or cider DN: sippin on that apple juice DN: hard liquor DN: watch out for this guy PF: oh man i ran out of hard liquor PF: can you send me some or something? DN: you should go grab some DN: and get your game too DN: i need to find mine PF: i'm sure i got told to download the game PF: i think PF: i heard download around the same time as the game DN: well you got told again then PF: i don't even know man PF: i've slept since then DN: you are a piece of work PF: artwork i hope DN: yeah man PF: sure you could make some fuckin' art out of my life DN: mona lisa all over PF: damn right PF: except i'm not some random woman PF: who looks pissed about something DN: right-o DN: you're a man, boy PF: damn right i am DN: whos too cool for school PF: you know it DN: ye DN: s PF: damn man i'm still hung up about that contest DN: what DN: you're hung up? DN: that's girly talk PF: like confused man DN: take a shot DN: oh PF: good idea DN: i guess DN: i don't really agree with a lot of the results DN: i don't think anyone took it seriously PF: okay yeah that'd explain why i won something DN: it's the only explanation PF: i know man PF: dude who has fire powers nowadays DN: so crazy PF: what did you win anyway? DN: good question PF: go check man PF: while i crack open another beer DN: go forth and do so PF: shit PF: beer is in the kitchen PF: gotta make sure my friend's not around PF: so PF: i guess i'll catch you later DN: werd
See? Low-key. I mean, come on, it only has a one-car garage! Five floors and ten thousand square feet is barely enough to throw a decent HOUSE PARTY. You love to have HOUSE PARTIES. You also love MANHATTAN, which is of course why you live here on the Upper East Side. That, and it was a steal at only $19 million.
Your FATHER is the founder and editor-in-chief of GENTLEMAN'S BI-MONTHLY, or GBM for short, a magazine for gentleman and those that aspire to become gentleman. He expanded the magazine's vision into other media and GBM now has a significant presence on television, the web, satellite radio stations, and has produced a number of smartphone apps. All this has allowed the two of you to live quite comfortably.
Let's see... you need a ridiculously fast car, with open-air credentials, and the ability to haul four people around comfortably. The BRABUS 800 E V12 CABRIOLET ($670,000) meets all these criteria and more. Based on the E-Class Cabriolet, the 800 sports a 788hp engine based on the V12 of the S 600, improved aerodynamics thanks to body modifications, 10-inch-wide, 19-inch wheels, a custom high-performance braking system, and the ability to go from 0-62 mph in just 3.7 seconds on your way to a top speed of 231, making it the fastest four-seat convertible on the planet.
It's great for jetting down the coast in the summer to one of your beach-houses or just taking some models out on the town for a night of bright lights and clean living.