Prime
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Post by Prime on Dec 18, 2010 8:25:59 GMT -5
Azshara Firelass
Her name owing to her mastery of formed fire magic, Azshara is an otherwise beautiful woman with an ugly burn across her eye and cutting back into the hairline on the right side of her head. Her right eye has been replaced with a green and red gem, the enter glowing as an ember.
Her personality is a fairly happy one, she tends to be outgoing and likes to hear about things. Especially bad things, she has an obsession with putting things right. Or at least, how she views them as right, a few arguments have come up in the past about this point.
Her hobbies, oddly enough, are a direct contrast to her main profession. She likes tinkering with mechanical things and has been known to make little magically enhanced contraptions. Ranging from flys to the occasional giraff, and a few computer chips worshipful geeks were more than happy to have, her talents in this area are considerable, but generally not practical.
Her creations when it comes to machines tend to be more delicate than practical, and many of them don't last long.
Her magic, however, is both powerful and direct. She's not really one in for subtlety, though she understands the need for its use occasionally. She's developed several direct fire attacks that she chains together depending on the situation.
Lu Enthrel, a fire wave that she channels anywhere from a 1 degree area in front of her, to a full 360 degree's of coverage. Its a hot wave of flame, but its main purpose is impact. It trips her opponent leading into her second attack.
Moin Rose', A large ball of fire. This isn't your normal fireball either, the interior is actually a conjured web of white hot gold. The soft metal does wonders to entangle the opponent, and the fiery surface of the ball turns to a soft rose gold over several seconds before it explodes. This isn't your classic fire and forget attack.
Prism le Grace, not a well known attack. This is fire at a high level, a beam even. Everything turns to ash before it, and its meant as a direct follow up to the entangling Moin Rose'. Though Azshara finds killing distastful, when she finds it to also be nessisary, this is the attack she will use.
Lu Fye, an unorthodox magical spell. Her staff is covered with several rings of almost coherent flame, coloured a light blue. Their power is deceptive. She can either keep them on her staff for striking in close combat, or let all of them loose in expanding rings. Whatever they contact they attempt to entangle. They burn like heated metal, but aren't fatal and they won't burn through the surface of the skin.
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Jason Maverik
Born of an average family, Jason was unfortunate enough to be an inheritor of the wanderlust gene. His whole life he's been consumed with the notion that there was something more. Unfortunately for him, darker beings noticed this and attempted to take advantage of it. Jason Maverik was a Hero at the age of 14, and has kept his head down since then.
He lost his humanity, but not his soul. He now stands as a Demon Lord inhabiting earth. He's spent seven years by himself, learning about himself, and how to master his urges, his new body ill at ease with peace. After a long time, he learned to reach a balance with nature, and now simply seeks a purpose to life.
Unlike a normal person without the wanderlust gene, however, he believes that this has to be a higher purpose than merely fetching food at a grocherie store. Not that they'd have him.
Standing at seven feet tall and well muscled, its pretty obvious that he's a demon. He kept his fine featured face at his former 'Masters' desire, the better to attract and corrupt humans. However he has a long tail that remains plainly visible to all of not wraped around his waste, and demonic horns that curl behind his head and ears.
His eye's were burned out of his skull when his transformation took place, and now only violet orbs of energy inhabit his sockets. His once light dusky brown hair turned a stark white, and no matter how he tried to cut it, it ever reached down to brush his arse.
The maddening rash sometimes kept him up at night.
When roused to anger, he fights with a strange magic, and manifests himself large crackling spears to throw at his enemies.
Once in the past, at a Slayer concert, he reportedly manifested a hammer instead, and Thorsmashed the sound system. So perhaps he isn't merely limited to spears, and uses them as a preference.
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More concepts to come, got a few kickin round in the ol brain
Athena Feilon, a medium build woman with jade green eye's and fiery red hair, she's fair featured with a slightly upturned nose and an hourglass figure with a slightly enlongated torso. With long legs and a well muscled frame, she's the picture of intimidating for most men. Beauty, brains, and brawn build into the ultimate intimidating woman.
Athena is the heiress in a long line, her last name the same as her nation. They've lived hidden from madkind for a long time, though their discovery may be imminent. Her people live in harmony with nature, magic, and technology. Each complimenting and attempting to strengthen the others with verying levels of success.
Athena's people are actually asexual when nessisary, and are long lived. Its only in late life, if they've not sired children beforehand, that their asexual gene becomes active.
Athena's family line is predominantly asexual, and remains the ruling line. For various political and cultural reasons I don't really want to get into, bottom line is there have been very few Kings of Feilon.
She fights with a combination of full armor, magic, and two medium sized ring swords. Its always been tradition that her family be at the front lines of battle, instead of heading up the sacrificial masses for the back. This has so far assured that the Kingdom fights only for causes that it really bloody well needs to.
I actually have a huge amount of fluff and detail for this character, ranging from fighting style to personality to command style ect ect. Pointedly, yes, she was designed as a lover for Prime. I'm a huge believer in good ol fashioned love stories and I thought that Feilon would be a fairly good place to semiretire him. However many events are in motion to lead up to this, and by semiretire I only mean I'll do my best to keep him out of the vast magority of overly low level topics. Though I'll happily snipe him into intellectual ones.
However, my main diggs with this girl is also a complaint someone brought to me. I've always created female characters who seem to be in roles supporting my male characters. This was designed literally to reverse this, and eventually reach an equillibrium.
Anyways, comments on any of these guys so far is welcome. I also have a full Noble Council in the wings, as well as two generals and, an adviser and a sage for her. And I'm thinking about a cabinete as well, though I may stick with the principle adviser for simplicity. Feel free to comment.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 18, 2010 12:15:14 GMT -5
How do you pronounce "Azshara"? Does that "zsh" sound like a "z", or a "sh", or like, a soft "j", or what? Oh well, I still dig her. Love the touch that she emphasizes form over function in her mechanical creations. And I always enjoy the "obsessed with doing right, but not actually rock-solid on the universal definition of 'right'" angle. I would advise you to play it up and make sure she doesn't straight-up save the day too often. Find more roundabout and less transparent ways for her to be helpful if you can. I would also drop the "doesn't like killing, but does it when necessary" angle, which is a little cliched coming from your cast. (Okay, I can't defend that with a checklist, but I've definitely seen your characters say "Oh man, I hate killing, but anyway here we go" and slaughter a bunch of guards before.) I think she should actually be totally 0kay with killing as long as she thinks that's part of what needs to be done to set things right. Enthusiastic about it, even! That would add a very dark and interesting streak to her cheerful personality. As for the powers, I think they're pretty sweet -- I love the entangling moves -- though regarding Lu Enthrel, I'm not sure how you can trip someone... with fire. I mean, okay, I'm not familiar with raging flames close up, but... I don't... think they have that much force of impact. What about a ring of flaming coals instead? Aim that low and you could definitely take an opponent off their feet. Jason Maverik scores a big ol' "meh" from me. Much more stereotypically Prime-y, and without any obvious openings for improvement, except maybe change the last name? That's... a little embarrassing. If you want him to have taken on "Maverick" as a nickname (and spell it with the "c", please, it actually looks better, not lamer) that's one thing, but to have it be his actual last name? Kinda dorky. Actually, I was distracted by how cool "Azshara" is -- now that I look again, "Firelass" is also a really shitty surname. Either adjust both of these to being nicknames or just drop them and find better, subtler last names. But back to Jason. I mean, okay. He's a demon (somehow. Even though you never explained how that happened). And I suppose he's embroiled in some kind of existential quest to find his purpose in life. Isn't Prime embroiled in one of those every other RP? What's so special about Jason? Honestly, the only part of his bio I thought was interesting and had the spark of creativity and fun was the detail about the hair refusing to be cut and irritating his ass, although even that presents problems such as: does Jason not cover his ass? Otherwise the hair wouldn't bother it, would it? Does he go around naked all the time? And if that's the plan... can he... not? I appreciate the thought behind Athena. You want her to be a lover for Prime, but you also want to make sure she can stand on her own. Tough balance, and the problem is, I think you've skewed her too far in the "stand on her own" direction. Meaning: great, awesome, she can fight, she can use magic, she's beautiful and smart and strong and the heiress to the throne... but where's the personality? You say you've planned it, but that bio contains absolutely zilch that informs us of what she's actually like as a character. Please share the juicy deets as far as that goes. Because I need to rest easy that she'll have some legitimate flaws and not be an uber-perfect boring-as-fuck Mary Sue. (Read this essay if you haven't already. Not just Prime. Everyone who sees this.) That's not to say I don't find anything of interest in the bio -- I like the "fighting on the frontlines so we only do it when shit's serious" angle a hell of a lot, so keep that. The asexual thing kind of confuses me -- is she asexual for most of her life and then becomes sexual late in her life? Or the other way around? Either one, actually, would be an interesting wrinkle if you're intending her and Prime to settle down as permanent lovers. But she really better have a personality worth speaking of before Prime even brushes shoulders with her! So, altogether, that's one "great success!", one "bluh bluh bluhhhh", and one "I am mostly withholding judgement until further details are shared". Not a bad score. Think about the tweaks I suggested for Azshara, open up a little more on Athena... and, who knows? Maybe you can still win this skeptic over with Jason. Somehow. EDIT: It occurred to me that you must have intended "Firelass" as a title, i.e. Lyra Belacqua being called Lyra Silvertongue, rather than that Azshara comes from the proud family of Firelasses. That's okay, I guess -- I mean, I still think it sounds a little hokey, but do what you must. However, if that's true, I'd like to know what Azshara's actual surname is too, so I don't have to refer to her as "Miss Firelass". Anyway, none of this saves Jason Maverik, who I can only assume is actually supposed to have the surname "Maverik", which is a bad surname.
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Post by Prime on Dec 18, 2010 18:28:41 GMT -5
Alias Firelass/Firemaiden, surnamed Surgall. Possibly.
I did mention that it only keeps him up as night, on the Jason character, because he sleeps in the buff. During the day it doesn't bother him so much.
And Prime isn't on an existential quest so much as fighting with his core personality. Everything he loves, is everything he also thinks is wrong. He loves fighting to the death, he loves the cut and the kill and the blood, and he knows its wrong, so he clamps down hard on it and hates himself for loving it. He may even be a more interesting character if I allow him to embrace instead of reject it, that 'angry Prime' you love so much more than the 'calm Prime' that pisses you right the fuck off.
Athena's personality has been HEAVILY fleshed out, like every night, I'm typing like a mad little fucker on my cell phone storing notes on her. She's my most heavily thought out character EVER, on the other hand, all the notes are on my phone. I have no idea how to swap them onto my computer and copying them manually would be a BITCH. Alas, I will begin the endevor, either way, you'll see the result in an hour or two I suppose.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 18, 2010 18:42:18 GMT -5
Firemaiden... I think that might be better than Firelass. I'm not quite sure though. Other people should weigh in on this.
Oh, I get it, about Jason. That's okay, then.
I definitely like anger-issues Prime better than unflappable "Or I will kill you" Prime, that's very true. I wouldn't say the latter attitude "pisses me right the fuck off" (though it sure did that to Cesare!) but even so... I think you can definitely have him conflicted about his anger issues without either fully embracing or repressing them, though. Embracing is an option but he'd probably turn into kind of a nutcase.
That's good to hear about Athena, very good. Don't feel the need to drive yourself crazy copying the notes -- I mean, if you want to keep her character surprising, you don't have to lay out anything up front, you can just let her voice come through in the RP. I just needed reassurance that that aspect was there, which it clearly sounds like it is.
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Post by Prime on Dec 18, 2010 19:11:10 GMT -5
Hehe, I'm just one of -those- people.
When I'm good, I'm awesome.
When I'm bad, well, you guys have been there. 80% of the time.
EDIT: Also all other do feel free to jump in and express your commentary, distaste, ect ect.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 18, 2010 19:53:56 GMT -5
Oh boy character sharing. Mind if I turn this into the general "let's share character ideas we've been kicking around" topic?
Too bad I am reading this at a lull in my mood for character critiques (the tv tropes forum has been getting all the critiques from me lately) but I will make some quips anyway.
Azshara - First and foremost, I cannot spell her name because I cannot pronounce it. Anyway, I'm a little wary of the tech girl personality nowadays, but that might be because I've seen it beaten around too much in FMA and Dresden Codak and I sometimes (often, actually) think "she is good looking, therefore the writer probably gets mad bonerz writing her." Or maybe that's just what happened when I made Lexi.
Also, i've already expressed this to you, but I don't like the idea of named attacks. It constrains your thinking to a certain subset of moves and that's really major. As Lee pointed out on that one formpsprang question, Ender got away with mad powerful psychic attacks because, while he fell back on certain signature moves, everything else was a new creation made up at his whim, whereas Diamond was super stale because everything was "lololol telekinesis."
Jason - Yeah, Maverik is a pretty shitty name. Name him like John McCain or something. Also, I'm now officially calling you out on every single time you fuck up with apostrophes, including on MSN. It's "eyes" in that instance. Also how the hell do you manage to spell "grocery" like that.
I really like the idea of him doing the monomyth story when he was really young, but then he quit. Why did he do that? There's a whole lot of contradictory stuff going on that's really confusing about him, such as being enslaved be demons not really fitting the standard "hero" story, or having wanderlust but chilling out for seven years. I want to see more on the wanderlust and the old Hero idea and play those up as a deconstruction of what that exactly does to your psyche when all is said and done.
Athena - Meehhh on first name. She's going to need more greek goddess parallels to pull that one off, if she can at all. I don't like pulling names out of mythology because of connotations and how much harder you have to work the symbolisms because if they're not done well, it just looks like the name was slapped on because it sounded cool or for cheap effect. Names are important and an indication of the character as well as the writer's ability. Or maybe I just think too much when making them.
I mean, I get a really strong Amazon vibe from her, but as far as I can recall, Athena had nothing to do with the Amazons. Either way, she still sounds like Wonder Woman.
Give us some of her flaws. They don't have to be pivotal story point ones, but yeah, I'm getting the Mary Sue vibe off her, and that's no bueno.
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Post by Tout-Perd on Dec 18, 2010 20:50:52 GMT -5
Firelass actually is very impressive. If you can match the impression she gives in that summary up there, you might have another ensemble darkhorse on your hands. I mean, fire mage specializing in restraint/entanglement? You actually made pyrokinesis an interesting power, something which even Choobs and I have had trouble doing. The one idea I'd work with to improve her would be the "Distaste for Killing, but will do it" aspect. As opposed to Pohatu's take, I'd say make murder absolutely abhorrent to her. While the rest of your cast is willing to dirty their hands as neccessary, she'd consider killing TOTALLY a badguy thing, possibly because of some incident in her past (after all, there had to be some reason for her to innovate into nonlethal restraint techniques, despite being a fire mage. I dunno if it's because she murdered somebody and it traumatized her, or somebody dear to her was killed, but it seems she'd have some incentive.)
As for Demon guy, yeah, I'm not picking up on too much of interest with him. It's possible, as you've speaken of his heroics in the past tense, that he's somewhat of a "Former Adventurer" type, coping with being... well, I wouldn't say irrelevant, but trying to live with the fact that he no longer feels like the star, like his big role in life has passed him by and now he's stuck in a rut. I could be wrong, but that was the feeling I was getting from him. He's stuck being the Protagonist of Somebody Else's Story, dealing with the annoying consequences of the ultimate power he took upon himself to complete his former quest. (Then again, I think I've ran a bit to far with the idea, but it could be an interesting angle.)
The last one... Hmmm... It's certainly a step in the right direction. One just needs to be careful not to go TOO far the opposite way, to make her a flawless woman that thrashes everybody. Any flaws you could mention? I think that'd help humanize her for those of us in the peanut gallery.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 18, 2010 21:06:41 GMT -5
after all, there had to be some reason for her to innovate into nonlethal restraint techniques, despite being a fire mage. That's a very good point. I'll switch around and support Lee on this one, then.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 18, 2010 21:35:07 GMT -5
Maybe she just likes to dominate people with molten gold.
Insert some pun about things being "hot" here.
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Prime
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Post by Prime on Dec 18, 2010 22:21:26 GMT -5
She's a strong, wise leader, almost twice Primes age. She's also basically a dictator, for all the trappings of her office she is, in the end, the ruler. It'd be foolish to think she maintained the position as a moron, that sort of office requires a brute of intellect. And yes I love the wonderful contradictory nature of that sentence.
As for her flaws, her facial expressions tend to have duel meanings. Her smile could mean happyness, it could just as easily mean she's about to kill you. She has a fiery temper and an unfortunate short fuse. And she's not the type to have you beheaded, I'm tempted to say she's literally beat one of the council members about the head, so I'll probably write that into her history.
Also, while she is strong for a woman, and scary to the average guy frankly, she isn't quite strong enough to deal with heavy armor. She wears plate more to her detriment than to her benefit, more of an insistent issue of status instead of practicality. Also she tends to drop her guard on her left side to much, but if any of your characters notice that in the first post I'll throttle you.
Also since she does wear plate, she fucks up her casting occasionally. The effects of this are mainly humorous or annoying, sulphur clouds, bad smells, rain. Random stuff pretty much. The occasional explosion if she's pissed off and really stressed. (I'm tempted to say she's blown someone up accidentally at point blank range and carried if off as intentional, so I'll probably write that into her background to.)
One of her major flaws, being in the office she is in, is that she's to quick to forgive. She'll get pissed off sure, even violent, but two hours later whats done is done and she could care less. Just don't aggrivate her any further and your fine. Do, and bad stuff happens. But given her office she really shouldn't give the chance of an assassination attempt.
(I would laugh my ass off if that was how she and Prime met, he's trying to kill her. Lmao.)
Er, other than that I'm not sure. Frankly I think her temper and snap fuse is more than enough, could end up being a real disadvantage in combat as she could get blind sided due to being to focused. And the same is implied for verbal jousting since a third party could intervene and completely screw her up.
If you have any comments on that feel free, and no I don't mind if others use this topic to tout their concepts. I would've named it 'Primes Character Concepts' otherwise.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 18, 2010 23:56:49 GMT -5
Those aren't flaws. Except for the temper, thing, but anger issues are like the easiest flaw one can toss into a character. Not saying that means it's inherently bad; just giving an opinion. But anyway, when we say "flaw," we mean a humanizing element that allows the reader to relate in some way and see that the character is a person and not a mythical idea.
So to break it down:
Dual meanings for facial features is not a flaw. It just means she has complex facial expressions. Julia also has complex facial expressions, but none of them are flaws. You could say that a "flaw" is that she can't hide emotions well, or that her face doesn't show emotions, but that's not a humanizing element.
Not dealing with major armor... I guess that's a flaw of physical strength, but that's kind of useless in the realm of personality.
Mercy is also not really a flaw. That's like saying her major flaw is being too beautiful, and thus everyone gives her too much attention, and really, with a face like that, she's gotta worry about rapists or something.
I would, at best, classify the last two as weaknesses rather than flaws since they have to do with fighting and not being a person. More realistically, I would classify them all as minor inconveniences since things like that can be written around with a piddly amount of creativity.
I was going to point out flaws that I really like in the RP casts of people, but I can't think of any that have really impressed me, but that is probably more because I am ambivalent to things than because we're all actually shitty writers.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 19, 2010 0:57:19 GMT -5
I was waiting for Choobs to post that.
Choobs, I think you missed something about the armor bit. He isn't saying "She's not strong enough to equip heavy armor, that's totally a flaw guys right?" He's saying "She's not strong enough to equip heavy armor but she insists on doing it anyway as a status symbol." Thus her pride and rigid adherence to the expectations of her rank end up literally weighing her down on the battlefield. That's a pretty valid flaw, I think.
Otherwise, though, I agree with you for the most part. Ambiguous facial expressions =/= flaw. And the whole mercy thing... Is she wise and quick to forgive or does she have a hair trigger temper and flaunt her status to her own detriment? We all strive toward well-rounded characters, of course, and yet so far Athena doesn't seem particularly wise or merciful at all. These attributes are pulling her in all kinds of directions.
Big question here. What if you dropped the anger thing? We don't really need another HUGE BITCH BLUH BLUH, do we? What if she were basically fairly even-tempered and, sure, merciful, but took her position way too seriously at the expense of her spiritual health/physical well-being, and so on (hence the heavy armor thing etc.)? She can still get so attack-oriented in battle that she lets her guard down; surely she would consider it only worthy of her title to deal more damage than anyone else on her side of the field. That doesn't mean she has to flip the fuck out and be a rage queen, it would just mean she's too single-minded to be a superb tactician, which would be fine if you wanted her cleverness to come through in other ways (the workings of the court).
Honestly I think the royals-fighting-on-the-frontlines stroke has potential to bring forth a very messed-up personality. Sure, say, this proposed Athena has an impressive degree of grace and fighting chops, but she lacks the sheer strength to equip the strongest weapons and armor. And yet she's obsessed with upholding her culture's expectation that the highest-ranking warrior on the field should take the most enemy lives. So she pushes herself well beyond her limits in terms of equipment, putting her own safety at risk, and ignores defensive tactics in an effort to rack up as many kills as possible, so as to stand proud in history alongside much brawnier rulers. She's probably got a shitload of enemies in the court, too, nobles who (and this isn't necessarily unreasonable, and they aren't necessarily evil) believe that she's endangering their entire kingdom with her reckless commands on the field, and that assassinating her and replacing her with a better tactician might be the only way for their nation to survive against whatever enemies it's accumulated. And that's where, as I indicated, this Athena's real cleverness comes in -- she may be a foolhardy military leader, but she has a shrewd head on the home front, carrying herself in the court with great caution and temperance, talented at flushing out plots against her and quick to dispose of those behind them.
Is this proposed Athena still likely to project an intimidating air? Yes, but not because she's at the boiling point all the time -- it's because you can tell that she sincerely believes you're not worth the dirt on her boot, and that she'd commit all of her purpose to wiping you out in a second if you gave her a reason to. Because she has to. Because that's what she believes her kingdom expects of her.
Just a thought. Consider it.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 19, 2010 1:38:20 GMT -5
I was actually going to point out that I think pride is the second most exploited flaw, right after anger, but pride isn't beaten to the point of cliche unless it's done with a villain.
Though pride in office is good thought. If you do not consider it, I will take it and run to round out the problems I've been having with this one potential Aleta character.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 19, 2010 11:28:00 GMT -5
I was actually going to point out that I think pride is the second most exploited flaw Oh my god sorry we don't all run more characters with the crippling flaw of gluttony. Fat people suck, is the problem.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 19, 2010 11:54:17 GMT -5
Vriska is fat.
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 19, 2010 11:57:07 GMT -5
I know.
She suuuuuuuucks.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 19, 2010 12:09:43 GMT -5
I think I'll make a gluttonous character just to spite you now.
And he flies and controls fire.
ahahaha his last name will be hindenburg
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 19, 2010 12:14:01 GMT -5
YES
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 19, 2010 12:19:19 GMT -5
On second thought, alcoholism and drug abuse is probably higher up on the "most exploited flaws" list than pride.
OH WELL
The point is, it doesn't matter how exploited something is, just so long as it's not cliche to the point of eye rolling, and just so long as you can write it convincingly, it's all good.
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Post by Prime on Dec 19, 2010 18:49:10 GMT -5
Good that you said that, considering your staple flaws appear to be drug abuse. Mostly weed, which actually helps your focus more than hindering you, depending on how much to smoke.
And also thanks to Pohatu for spotting that. This woman does a LOT for the sake of her office and her people, her whole family essentially puts their own concerns aside in order to rule. Its the asexual production element that really allows them to do that.
To answer your earlier question Pohatu, in early life their mode de reproduction is the same as ours. Male/female reproduction is the most effective/fastest path to evolution and strengthening your genetic line. Their asexual trait is recessive and only occures late in life, and then only if they haven't sired any children.
Side note, wisdom and mercy don't always go hand in hand. Sometimes it is more wise to be completely merciless.
EDIT - Side note to Pohatu, the Queens Wrath is a well documented phenomina despite however wise or passionate or even merciful they normally are. Royalty orders executions for what boils down to a simple reason, because they can. When you make them realize this is when you're in shit, and its never far from Athena's mind.
Also a note on Azshara's attack, her tripping fire attack, Lu enthrel, isn't mainly a component of fire. Its a generate shockwave that, at its edges, compresses air enough to cause ignition. Thus it is essentially a change in air pressure that pushes your feet out from under you. It just appears to be mostly fire oriented due to its manner of generation and appearance.
Additional EDIT note for Choobeh and Pohatu -
While I couldn't name any major character flaws offhand, aside from her anger managment issues and status focus. Any flaws in her personality of views on the world are likely to become apparent as she asserts herself as a character. Its only when her opinions contrast against others and the common moral view that her true nature will really be known, and therefor her true characters and her flaws as a not so human but never the less human being.
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 20, 2010 11:07:31 GMT -5
that is silly. my staple flaw is emotional distance and having a vagina (oh BURN)
Anyway, status focus is a good flaw. Honestly, so long as you have one solid weakness, you're pretty much golden. Or at least bronze.
I was going to present a character pair (incubus/victim) that I'd been building while writing papers last week, but then I realized I already have a pairing similar but not really at all so that idea is getting tossed out. Hooray!
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Post by Tout-Perd on Dec 20, 2010 16:19:27 GMT -5
I was going to present a character pair (incubus/victim) that I'd been building while writing papers last week, but then I realized I already have a pairing similar but not really at all so that idea is getting tossed out. Hooray! Cobra/Julia, right?
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Post by Yoshimitsu on Dec 20, 2010 16:21:26 GMT -5
I was going to present a character pair (incubus/victim) that I'd been building while writing papers last week, but then I realized I already have a pairing similar but not really at all so that idea is getting tossed out. Hooray! Cobra/Julia, right? Nat/Rie
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Post by ch00beh on Dec 20, 2010 17:03:44 GMT -5
Ender/ender
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Post by Prime on Dec 20, 2010 23:21:25 GMT -5
Oxley 'Anmorph' Vontravich
A half romanian, half american pure martial artist, Oxley was taken by martial arts at a young age. He is no stranger to violence, or food. Oxley essentially became a monk, and acheived a high degree of chi manipulation. Due to that, he's capable of performing subtle manipulations of his own body, and due to that, he chose to take advantage.
Oxley is currently 557 pounds, and most of it isn't muscle. He uses a unique fighting style in which his fat literally strikes and parries for him, essentially giving him extra arms, everywhere. He's even been known to shape them into tentacles to attack at a moderate range as well, though he generally refrains due to complaints about how friggin creepy it is.
With multiple high level tournaments wins under his belt, (The kind normal people never hear about) he's uncommonly known as 'The Ultimate Martial Artist' or by his most hardcore fans, 'Megasumo', and he generally tries not to think of the hentai fangroups that have arisen around him in the past.
Appearance wise, he's just shy of six feet tall, and obviously fat as hell. Despite that he keeps his body in fighting condition, even his fat is carefully manipulated to acheive a nominal defence. As a result, his body is composed mostly of thick looking limbs, trunk, and curves. He looks rather like a shapely giant marshmellow, though it all breaks down when he's to tired to fight.
With dark grey eyes, shaped almost predatorily almond shaped, his hair is short cropped and a dusty grey. You wouldn't think it to look at him, but he's gotten quite old. His features are a bit mushy, to say the least, and he's a huge fan of sunglasses, complaining that light hurts his eye's. He generally prefers to wear shades with red visors. He wears a jade necklace with a buddha on it, and makes a habit of smacking his belly in jest when its referenced.
As for clothing, he generally wears a tanktop that barely conceils his frame, and loose baggy sweatpants. Though they're a lot less loose on him. He used to wear leather until he got into a fight with a bull, following which all the other bulls also mutinied and he was fighting an army of bulls. He chose ultimately to respect the bulls. And their horns.
He also has a fondness for roomy combat boots with steel tips, with good reason. His feet actually fit in them. The tops are generally unlaced and folded down, since they bulge around his calves at the best of times.
He has a win loss record of 58/9, and rarely speaks about his losses as he strives towards his own goals, however those they were present for his losses speak only in whispers about the fights, and with reverence for the massively talented low profile martial artists in the world, who rarely ever make a second appearance, so focused are they on their craft.
Cheers.
^ Whatcha think of THAT one? ^
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Post by Beelzebibble on Dec 20, 2010 23:34:21 GMT -5
Hahahaha Jesus Christ yes. That's ridiculous and amazing.
Except, what is with the nickname "Anmorph"? That sounds like "Animorphs". You don't want that. Did you just mean "Amorph", as in "amorphous"? Because "Amorph" is acceptable, "Anmorph" is not.
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